and now…the excite’n conclusion of APOKOLYPSTIK!
so Adam and Eva run as fast as they could from Felopia and her evilness…completely bewildered that such a planet could exist where they were looked upon as heathens of immorality
up ahead…and completely out of breath…Eva notices…a convenience store
“let’s go in there and ask fer some help Adam” Eva says gasp'n fer her breath
“we gotta…my mocha frappe latte chi tea with cinnamon spices
as they enter the CUM N GO…who’s work’n behind the counter…
as Eva pours herself a slurpy...from behind the slurpy machine pops out none other than Match game host Gene Rayburn who says...
Charles gleefully replies…
a buzzer sounds over the intercom and a raspy voice calls out “hey Charles…can i get a price check on these menthol suppositories puhleez…NOW!”
both Adam and Eva struggle to figure what is goin on as they run out of the store and Eva sucks down her slurpy in hand
as they make their way out the door and duck thru an alley…Eva has to stop suddenly "ouch!...brain freeze...gimme a minute"
both of them now realize they wish they had never been picked as the winners of “who wants to put a peasant in the poor house”
“HALT!…what’s got yer cha cha heels in such a rush?”
“i don’t understand it…why is everyone on this planet so…you know…blatantly so ac/dc” Eva shouts
Jack…as happy as lark and ready to take a run on the beach…told Adam and Eva…
Adam looks around to assess the situation while try’n to console Eva’s nervous breakdown…
he notices a mechanic up head work’n beneath a car
as they get closer to the car…Adam smells a strong scent of patchouli permeate'n in the air as he taps the mechanics foot under the car
the mechanic rolls out from under the car and in a husky slovakian voice says...
Eva…baffled by the thick accent…asks for the mechanics name and directions to PRETTY PRETTY’s
“eh…i um Dee Skee und PRUTTY PRUTTY livz in zee custle on zee hill ova zere”
“so…wait a minute…yer not…you know…a man” Eva replies
“nuh…i em not ego rid’n booshit’r “ Dee says defiantly
Eva…stunned and wide eyed…goes batshit crazy and screams as she sees a gaggle of twinkle ferries
“guuuuurl puhleez!...wus with all the damage?...yer gonna get split ends…besides…you wanted us all on an island…but you like know there wouldn’t be enough room…so we needed a planet”
“get it guuurl friend” says the other twinkle ferry snapp’n his fingers at Eva
Eva looses complete control of her senses
as Adam gazes off in the distance...he is frozen as if he was just look’n at Medusa straight in the eyes…at a bear and his cub walk'n hand in hand to some rodeo
Eva…close’n her eyes as tight as she can…and cover'n her ears
shake’n her head back and forth…her hair whipp’n frantically in the wind
spiral’n out of control as she can no longer get a grip of the situation she’s been put into…tumblin’ down some sorta bizarre rabbit hole
then…Eva wakes
“it was just a dream?”
after loose’n the bid for the front runner of the GOP nominations…Michelle fell into a deep coma like sleep and dreamt she was the professionally trained dancer and proud PTA president…Eva D. Strucshun…along with her husband Marcus…who was the city council man and weekend deacon…Adam Davenport…and the winners of “who wants to put a peasant in the poor house” and be the first unimportant non homosexual civilians to travel to the moon
“honey…it was just a bad dream” Marcus replies
“but it felt so real…and you were there…although you're cholesterol intake wasn't as high"
"and you were all there” Michelle said point’n at the others at her bedside
along side Marcus was Ann Coulter…
next to her was Rick Perry…
and thought John Boehner
next to them was Mitt Romney
and Rick Santorum...whom Michelle thought
the hospital doors open up and in walks the nurse...and it's Sarah Palin
(she decided to go back to her technical train'n courses and get a degree
since her political views and become'n BFF's with Kate Gosselin made her look a bit socially retarded in the public's eye)
Michelle...famished...chomps down on her meal
behind her walks in gay republican from the A-list: dallas Taylor Garrett
“dear lord…so get this you guys” Michelle says to the gaggle of GOP bobbleheads that have gathered around her bedside...with a puzzled look on her face “the last thing i remember was this butch mechanic who turned out to be a woman…tell’n me that their ruler of their land PRETTY PRETTY lives in the castle on the hill…i don’t get who that was suppose to represent?”
“let’s let you rest sugarplum…you’ve had a rough day” Marcus says as he escorts the others out of the room
Michelle still wonder’n what the bossy fag hag...JJ...the mechanic and the ruler had to do with her dream…leaned over to get the remote control and turn on the television.
a loud scream echo’s down the corridor
“NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!”
Marcus comes flutter'n back into Michelle’s room like a humm'n bird to see what Michelle was all freaked out about
as Michelle sobs uncontrollably in bed…Marcus notices on the television
Chaz Bono was being interviewed about his transformation and DWTS elimination
by the one and only Rosie O'donnell
then in walks Cher and hugs her son
PRETTY PRETTY
as the room falls silent...Michelle gazes at the tv in a trance
Barrack Obama picture comes on the tv as winner of the 2012 elections
Rosie asks Cher what she thought about Barrack Obama winn'n the presidency fer a second term and about the comments people make about Chaz...and Cher replies...
the end
