get off my dress: a RIVERS runs thru it

to think there was a time when a woman could not even mutter the word

A-B-O-R-T-I-O-N on tv...let alone tell'n her audience that she was 7 months prego

the 1st QUEEN of late nite with her memorable tag line "CAN WE TALK?"

and her own personal punch line to all the plastic surgery procedures...JOAN RIVERS was a hurricane of hilarity that never held back when it came to make'n people laugh...whether it was over triumphs or tragedies...include'n her own...Joan could whip out the one-liners faster than a porn stars prick...

"i don't exercise...if G*D wanted me to bend over...he would have put diamonds on the floor"

"i'm no cook...when i want lemon on chicken...i spray it with pledge"

"i've had so much plastic surgery...when i die...they will donate my body to tupperware"

her razor sharp red carpet reviews cut thru celebrities like a disgruntled employee of ISIS...pave'n the way fer many many "in yer face" female comics in a very dominated male profession from the start

gett'n her biggest break in 1965 seal'n her fate as the QUEEN of comedy

starr'n as a guest on the king of late night JOHNNY CARSON

by 1983 become'n the 1st woman ever to fill in as the late night host...

pre-plastic surgery of course with many guests...include'n a very young BOY GEORGE

then starred as the 1st ever female late night talk show host in 1986...

"THE LATE SHOW STARRING JOAN RIVERS"....with the ever loveable PEE WEE HERMAN

a historian of humorous ramblin's...and author of many many books...

include'n "MEN ARE STUPID...AND THEY LIKE BIG BOOBS"..."I HATE EVERYONE...STARTING WITH ME" and her last gem "DIARY OF A MAD DIVA"...Joan told it exactly how it was...PC was never part of her recipe to penn'n a juicy book...

much like the STD test'n requirements fer "massage therapists" ads in the back of all those the local city pages

starr'n in the 1987 1/2 a block buster intergalactic parody "SPACEBALLS"

as the droid of honor DOT MATRIX

then in 1990 the made fer tv fluff "HOW TO MURDER A MILLIONAIRE"

as Beverly Hills housewife IRMA SUMMERS

2010 was the perfect tribute to the legend's life in "A PIECE OF WORK"

starr'n as herself...lett'n it all hang out...from her midday yaps to her vaginal flaps

QVC was part of her billion dollar biz fer over 20 years that sold a plethora

of colorful costume crap fer all occasions...Joan made millions of lonely agoraphobics around the world feel a lil less unattractive and a lil more bankrupt...sadly though...

a lot of Indonesian children will be gett'n their pink slips

host and top cop of couture on the highly rated show FASHION POLICE

who managed to criticize and correctly identify more red carpet disasters than F.E.M.A. did durin' Hurricane Katrina...will make about as much sense stay'n on the air now as...