thanx for CHER'n pt 1

i still can picture it...the year was 1974...me in my granimals seperates...

while my dad in his 100% cotton white fruit of the looms short sleeve tee...with match'n grundies of course...loan'n me a couple of his pickled herring fer consumption...while we watched the SONNY & CHER show on our modestly paneled television box one wed nite at 8 pm...as one does

44 years later i realized i had to honor his memory and our bond'n moment

over our love fer all things CHER...(of course my fascination went into hyper drive when CHER went on her own a couple years later and immortalized her famous "peel off" presentation) by make'n a pilgrimage to the BIG APPLE when i found out that CHER's life was gonna be dissected from the very beginn'n on broadway...titled simply...

 "THE CHER SHOW"
since i was already gonna see her 4th installment of her "farewell" tour...entitled appropriately hip replacement tour 

"HERE WE GO AGAIN TOUR" the week later in the Minne-Apple's siesta city St Paulie gurl...i figered...WHY NOT!

BUTT...more on that later

i arrived bright eyed and a bit hung over into Newark International airport

a bit early fer a change...and of course greeted by someone who was want'n change...but all i wanted was a change of scenario's...so i hopped the New Jersey transit and roughly an hour later i was F-I-N-A-L-L-Y bask'n in my temporary home fer the next few days...and i couldn't have been happier

check-in wasn't for another 5 hours...so i hadda figer out somewhere or 

someone...who would keep me entertained until then and luckily enough my good friend Cyndi back home sent me a message to meet up with her brother Brian who was in town sett'n up fer some concert...so we met up in Washington park and shot the shit fer the next 4 hours

by the time we bid our ado's...and my hung over was no longer hang'n

 over me...i was ready to count sheep in the city that never sleeps...cuz this unintentionally internationally unknown perform'n illusionist of her own universe was not gonna function much longer if i didn't...so a quick cab ride to the Hell's Kitchen area off of 48th and 8th...this Liza was ready fer a couple of ZZZ's...though this would not last very long...once i found out i was upgraded to the suite cuz the Heidi Klum hooker work'n the front desk gave my room away...THOUGH

don't get yer hopes up fer me just yet...cuz all that really meant was...that i hadda climb 5 flights just  so i wasn't party'n with mickey mouse and his buddies

once unpacked...i logged into the wifi...to find my guy that i chattered up

earlier in the week about my presence in his fair city...but by now unfortunately he'd become a ghost like my x's past (and unfortunately it was no real surprise)...NEXT!

a few short winks later...i reached out to a mutual drink'n friend i met on 

my last AA excursion in the BIG APPLE...and we decided to meet up where it all began...which was luckily right around the corner from my bite sized mini mansion

as most that know me...know that i am a very impatient patient when it

 comes to have'n some patience while wait'n fer someone...9.5 times outta 10 i'll give said person i'm wait'n fer with a one song max by car...and i ain't talk'n in a Don McLean sorta way either kittens...well...unless yer 9.5...

hey...if you were an unintentionally internationally unknown perform'n illusionist of yer own universe...LIKE ME...you'd do the same...so no shame!

20 minutes would pass...i started to feel like i has been raped...scraped

and left with my bloomers down around where future bunions planned on move'n in...by all the looky loo's give'n me the willy wonka eye from the bar...and just as i was about ready to send a gigantic SCREW YOU BOO text...he finally ascended from perch and earned his "fergive me" degree from the university of fuckity fucks by purchase'n me multiple liquid replenishments

eventually the clock would tick...then tock...and i would eventually  

become completely bored of play'n eye pinochle with the brazilian cock behind the inebriant trough that had now enveloped my very existence...so it was time to meander to another water'n hole...fer some easier pole...and we ended up around the corner...WHY NOT!

but the 2 drink minimum we were in at this point and my AA partner transformed into an oogle'n octopus and was give'n me his best mommie dearest interpretational dance...so i knew it was time to call it a nite

as i was gett'n ready to leave the last 3 hours behind me...i made my way

to the front door like a homeless whore who had just finished perform'n on her last and final farewell tour fer the even'n...and then it happened!

tune in next week fer part 2 of "thanx fer CHER'n"

now get off my dress!