and sometimes down right balls to the walls babble to all of my cautiously curious kittens across the universe...from Toledo to Taiwan...that it was about time that i finally give back and thank you from the bottom of my emptyless soul fer stick'n with me thru out all my tantrums...tirades and tawdry trysts...with a contest and ONE GRAND PRIZE WIENER!
at first i thought...i think the best thing i could possibly give away to one
lucky kitten out there would be an unimaginable pile of cold hard bengie's that you could spend any way you wanted to until yer lil cold selfish bleed'n hearts content (and if it that just can't keep you content...then perhaps rip out the heart from one of the many millions of other losers to fulfill yer contention)
BUTT...and you know there always is one...don'tcha?
although i've work in the financial industry in the downtown Minne-Apple
fer the better part of 20 some years and personally know all the tricks of the trade on how i could potentially line yer pockets with untold riches beyond yer belief
(with or without the use of a smart form fitt'n egyptian blue jumper)
i just can't pull off any pumpkin colored fabric to save my life...plus i decided it's not my responsibility to be stuff'n yer piggy bank at this juncture in my life...
since soon i will be crowned Mrs Colostomy Bag 2020...come labor day weekend...so i decided to take the off ramp on my train of thought to another consolation prize
and really...who doesn't dream of some exotic erotic vacation destination...
perhaps (if they're like me) they'd enjoy stroll'n down some war torn dirt road...bask'n in the moonlight behind some deserted castle in transylvania...that could possibly be their cup of tea
then i thought...OH FER FUCKS SAKES!...like i want my contest winner to
have to deal with this new generational crop of crappers who are dead set on become'n trendy "victims" by shame'n everyone else on the use of the proper pronouns that you need refer to them by...that pretty much you have to play like a fuck'n rubix cube of emotions just to figer their whole damn concept out...
cuz they're whine'n about the fact that the country is called TRANSYLVANIA...why not just rename it to SWEETSYLVANIE they'll say?
well...after spend'n hours upon hours to try and satisfy EVERYONE...
with my prize giveaway fer their years of dedication...i decided that there's A-L-W-A-Y-S gonna be some piss pour pouter in snoreville that'll say that my contest was rigged against them...so i figered i'd scrap the entire idea all together as to not look like there's ANY sorta favoritism towards ANYONE and just have my throngs of kittens thru-out the planet open their generous pocket books
and take out a personal loan from yer kids Kool-Aid college fund to help donate to the ULTIMATE prize package!
since charity seems to be the glue that makes everyone feel like they've
actually accomplished something with their pathetic ME ME ME life...i thought why not start a GOFUCKYERSELF charity fund fer the 51 senators who decided to take a massive shit on the constitution by vote'n NO fer witnesses that would've testified in the impeachment trials but instead decided to help cover up the callous corruption...
caused by their mentally deranged lie'n corrupt cheeto dusted sack of pig shit boss with the cottage cheesed dilapidated A double snakes!
i decided to try & collect enough benjie's to send them on an ALL inclusive
vacation package to beautiful downtown WUHAN CHINA...where they'll each get their very own host family that will put them up fer a week and help them decompress from the stress they've been under lately
take'n donations til this november 4th...so please...i implore you...please
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