fer instance...hot to trot bisexual babe...Jimmy Dean...was a rebel without a cause...and unfortunately also without quick hand/eye coordination at 85 mph
sexy ass punker who perfectly punked up the Presley pout...William Michael Albert Broad...was about about the rebel yell
even voluptuous vixen and funny lady from down unda' REBEL WILSON made it her mark that she's all about the bark
but no one can compare to the biggest REBEL HEART in the universe
and that's the one and only unapologetic bitch...M-A-D-O-N-N-A!
with her REBEL HEART tour that began sept 9th in Canuck country
the QUEEN spared no expense to the Montrealians who packed the arena fer 2 nites...to worship the woman who's entertained millions thru-out the globe for the past 4 decades
ascend'n from the ceil'n in a cage of her own celebrity status...M opened with the triumphant song about overcome'n adversity to become the "ICONIC" status that she has owned since the beginn'n of her career...
as thee event of the year...raisin rancher Gene Shalit said he liked it better than "CATS" (that is...if he actually went to the show...i will not confirm or deny this was his actual quote)
the critics are already praise'n the "REBEL HEART TOUR"...
clad in a red kimono and surrounded by medieval warriors...this is more of a phenomenal theatrical broadway production than any concert ever seen on stage...M breaks outta her cage surrounded with "a small army of dancers gracefully executing intense choreography...the show hit all the marks" said the Montreal Gazette
"her latest show is an astonishing spectacle that draws from Cirque du Soleil..."300"...the Chinese New Year..."Grease" and as always...catholic imagery" said the Washington Post
by the time the tour hit the BIG APPLE at Madison Square Garden...funny lady Amy Schumer opened for the legend and the Guardian gave M's Madison Square Garden show show 5 out of 5 stars say'n "there is no other performer like her"
of course no M show would be complete without nuns on the run (or in this case...stripp'n on the cross) and dancers bend'n it like beckham
though excommunicated by the Vatican 3 times...M took time out at her stop in Philadelphia to dedicate a song to the visit'n Pontiff tell'n the sold out crowd "either he's a copycat or in love with me...rules are for fools"
and make'n her debut fer the 1st time ever on stage in Hong Kong...the QUEEN proved her stay'n power by sell'n out the AsiaWorld Arena of all 13,500 seats in a matter of 30 minutes...the fastest sell'n tour ever by a perform'n artist in Hong Kong
and now begins the final coutdown to her much anticipated stop in the...
Minne-Apple's twin sinister city St Paul on thursday oct 8th...to help kick off the chaos that will ensue...
i...thee unintentionally internationally unknown perform'n illusionist of my own universe will be host'n fer one nite only THEE EVENT of the year
ICONIC:REBEL HEARTS party saturday oct 3rd @ Saloon
and stick around at midnite fer a special performance by yer host Krystal Kleer (umm that's me) that you won't wanna miss...right before the draw'n of tickets to the "REBEL HEART TOUR" @ Xcel Center in St Paul, MN on thursday october 8th
so dress to impress...bring ya holla's and ya dolla's
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