yer spirits after gett'n a desperate call from yer bestie lett'n you know she's discovered a lump....think'n it's about 2 besties that head out on a road trip to the boss's cabin...to get away from all the hustle and bustle of their mundane life fer the weekend from the trailers...
only to find out...yer turned into a puddle by credits end as you frantically call yer shrink fer an emergency session and the number to the suicide hotline...only to be put on hold!
or when you decide to take a refresh'n dip in the deep end of the lake
to escape the insanity...with yer sanity...from another ruined family reunion once again...by yer sweet tooth cuz of yer cuz Mertyl's meringue pie made entirely outta mayonnaise and mustard...and yer uncle's nibbley's parts on display next to the bowl of assorted nuts...
only wish'n you hadn't ignored the DO NOT SWIM sign at the end of the pier!
or when some ignorant bicyclist thinks that they're save'n the entire planet
from carbon emissions...by completely taken over the road instead of kindly move'n to the side when you gotta school bus of scream'n assholes and yer seconds away from gett'n stuck in rush hour traffic blocks from home after a hard day at work...
and realize'n you ended up goin commando that day cuz you were too lazy to do laundry over the weekend...and yer coffee has finally decided to kick in!
one thing that could NEVER bother me though...is today's sassy and very brassy self described..."effeminate and damaged boy from the Bronx"
the one and only MISS COCO PERU...well...except the planned interview i worked on fer months fell thru...due to our busy "scedules"...even after i withdrew $100 from my whore fund fer 4th row center...meet & greet tix fer me & my dear friend Peetrinella fer an early xmas surprise...and then completely have'n an unexcused incontinence moment...by actually fergett'n to go to the damn show a couple weeks back...
BUTT...at the very least
glad fer Coco's hysterical & triumphant return to the set of Will & Grace this past week...
and that there's FINALLY gonna be a sequel...20 years later...to one of my all time fav-o-rit romatic indy hits from the 90's...here's hope'n Coco's part is much bigger
but now that just means some lonely whore is gonna have to press their luck and hope that their next "WTF was i think'n?" moment...is STD free fer a change
move'n on...
now...imagine fer a moment if you will...yer try'na have a civilized grown-up convo with some instagrammer about the current state of the country
and they happen to turn the convo around to the current election...and let it slip that they already cast had their vote early...yer think'n...YAY....there is hope fer the future!
UNTIL...that is...that they let is spill they cast their vote fer a write in candidate...and that dam dreaded WHAMMIE hits you like a ton of typical millennial brain dead bricks
cuz they decided to write in Obi-Wan Kenobi...cuz you know..."he is our only hope!"
unfortunately...it didn't work out so well fer him in the end...did it?
now...as much as i want to agree its yer right...to write in who you want
I JUST CAN'T THIS TIME AROUND!...too much is at stake!!!
i hadda rush myself to the nearest powder room and suck on a urinal mint...
before i would end up goin batshit on this one...and end up have'n to go to sensitivity train'n ..after have'n a coupe cocktails with the HR department...of course
just cuz i helped them get a better view of the payment...from the 30th floor!
don't just take my word fer it...let the ever present politically hysterical
this blog was pre written before the election results...and there's only 2
doors that'll possibly open fer the entire country after late tues nite...
you have to decide if you wanna enter to the other end of the rainbow...
or if you wanna enter the gates of of hell and get yer heart...and everything else...ripped out from under you!
decide...you will...there is no retake...
but decide well!
now get off my dress!
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