our final joy ride in the back seat of some souped up lime green caddy
BUTT...(yes there always is one)
even though sometimes death becomes her...
sometimes...well...it just don't...dammit!
and yer left sport'n raccoon eyes with yer do shaped like a brown football helmet in front of yer support ho's!
much like most of my feel'ns to give'n a rat's ass about gett'n romantically
involved with any sane non heterosexual (i much prefer the broken and battered and those that feel they never mattered type...speak'n of course with no one in particular at this present time)...we've buried alot of very important things this past decade as a whole
not too forget about the 31 lives lost over this past weekend in El Paso and Dayton
(but more on that next week)
(but more on that next week)
from the wonderful world of teleo-vision...
we lost a housewife in denial...a neurotic newscaster...and an angel!
from the man who spun around like a record...the hottest butt shaker in the biz...to the lil purple paisley man himself
outside of all these familiar famous faces in the entertainment fields...
this new crop of kittens simply known as the millennial's instant oatmeal generation...who've never broken a damn sweat to get what they wanted...thanx to touch screens and downloadable apps...cuz of their parents inability to cope with their unfortunate mistakes from a drunken nite years earlier...we've lost sooo much more than just mortal stars...many many others things have fall'n off the face of the earth since this new crop has taken over...
the main one bein' the art of verbal communicado...
our ancestors spent thousands of years design'n and perfect'n the verbiage system into many many different flavors of communication...
unfortunately...thanx to devices like the internet...call wait'n...text'n...
Helen Keller...
George Orwell's prophecy is turn'n the entire planet into a huge pile of non verbal communicative paranoid mashed potatoes and take'n the brain work outta bein' human...fuck'n up millions of years of social interaction
i believe it was Weeza said it best when she so eloquently said...
"i smiled at the son-of-a-bitch before i could help myself"
there was no misinterpretation to be had then at all...but technology has turned societies up and come'n majority into lobotomized bags of unfeel'n
selfie-ish fucktwats by turn'n this lost art into a communicational cluster fuck of alphabetically coded messages like LMAO...LOL...TTYL...STFU...WTF?
that their ancestors are left to try and decode without have'n a brain aneurysm
but also join'n them in the graveyard are all those rental exotic tapes
along with their plugged in pimp machine that you used til they were busted and broken...murdered by those who were too unkind to rewind...so very very young...i hope yer happy!
1-900-phone sex lines that once helped pave the careers of many...
stay at home mom's and just as many unattractive out-of-shape homo's who built their self esteem up...
by cut-n-paste'n some tall dark built grecian piece of man flap as their own...under the pseudo name of Dirk or Dusty...or Mr.Pus...have been replaced by...
but on the flip side...
self esteem sessions and prozac prescriptions have gone thru the roof
hot spots like B. Dalton and Borders bookstores...
that once housed the latest and greatest novels by Jackie Collins and Suzanne Somers...
which also had their very own built in meat-n-greet conventions thru-out the midwest and beyond...are no longer with us...
thanx to amazon.com...and e-readers...now all those married suburbanites have been forced to find online love that is not to be spoken of at the dinner table and forced to travel half way across town in the middle of a cold rainy nite to some desert highway rest stop to get any relief without repercussion
the hypnotize'n sounds of the constant click click click of the cd cases...
as you flipped thru row after row to find the latest or yer greatest musical act with KRYSTAL KLEER crystal clear quality...cover art and lyric sheets that taught you the correct pronunciations of the songs...so you didn't look like a total ass on karaoke nite...have been die'n a very slow miserable death...
thanx to these guys
what once gave us gen X'ers and those before us...
headaches after spend'n endless hours flipp'n thru the yellow pages (and i don't mean the ones that some wino wee'd on in an alleyway) try'n to decide which categories like pizza or porn were listed under...is no longer with us...
thanx to these bitches take'n the brain power outta the new kittens on the block
remember when the only way to pay yer mortgage or telephone/cable
bills...or that babysitter off with hush money...so you could get off...just to swing yer hammer and show yer almighty power if they pissed you off by place'n a stop payment on their ass...or that elderly incontinent parent marinate'n in tea rose perfume who sent in a yearly donation of $2 to whatever charity of choice...think'n she was pay'n fer their front row seats into the kingdom of Casper...
have been all but replaced as a form of payment by these bastards or online bill pay
carpal tunnel was all the rage thru-out the ages...
thanx to all those hand written notes that once showed you cared enough to send yer deepest most inner thoughts by putt'n pen to paper and spend'n yer pocket change to purchase a stamp to prove you really cared...whether it was regard'n love...sympathy or just a simple "how ya been?"
have been totally replaced by free phony forwarded messages of hope or regret on FB by people who've post the pass'n of a loved one...only to figer out if the 1000 likes were because they're sad or glad fer yer lose...and wrongcards.com
so in conclusion kittens...though i may be age'n myself by complain'n...
about "how it used to be in the good ol' days"...by capture'n those kodak moments to last ferever...or til his cheat'n ass breaks yer heart and you rip him outta yers ferever...there are some advantages to try'n on these new generational gap jeans...especially when it comes to photoshop...
cuz now i now can always look like a fetus in a wig (or no wig at all) with Paulina Porizkova smackers and porcelain skin...without all those chemically enhanced injectibles!
now get off my dress!
No comments:
Post a Comment