originally...“GET OFF MY DRESS”...was the title of my reality show that i submitted to
Roseanne Barr
and Kathy Griffin
(survey says visuals keep you focused...plus it's less wear-n-tear on the ol' think'n cap...ain't that right kitten!)
years back because i was completely over the flood of brain dead television programming that was out there
shows like “Jon & Kate Plus 8”
and as if one season wasn’t enough…we were subjected to 4 more seasons…and NOW...a spin-off
just add stupidity and stir...instant fame and fortune
hey…i already experienced the same dynamics when i grew up with dad and mom plus 8 in my family in the 70’s on the farm
(can ya spot the future unintentionally internationally unknown perform'n illusionist of her own universe in the crowd?)
as if that wasn’t enough…then we have to try...
“Keeping up with the Kardashians”
“Keep yer damn clothes on Kardashians”
we can sit back and say they are complete idiots…dressed up like drunken drag queen hookers…make’n absolutely no sense why they are on our nitely programm'n hours in heavy rotation…yet a crap load of millions of viewers and corporations tune in every week…flood’n their bank accounts with millions upon millions in tv time and endorsement deals.
hmmm...and whos' responsible fer that one?
so of course when the rate'ns start to tumble…you...as the neilsen demographic family...(i say you...cuz i don't have tv programm'n by choice)let them double your stupidity by lett'n them spread their stupidity all over new york now...while the other one married an african american to get more demographic dollars
but when ya break it down though…who REALLY is the idiot here?
has our view'n audience gone from fun-to-watch couch potatoes to complete brain dead mashed potatoes?
what happened to television programm’n with all the can't-get-it-outta-yer-head jingle themes like:
ALICE
Wonder Woman
Laverne and Shirley
square pegs
and who could ferget....the Golden Girls
at least these shows gave us a snappy tune along with some sorta lesson and/or moral in or about life...that made some sense and would be worth purchase’n on dvd years later
(picture pages...picture pages...time to get yer picture pages...time to get yer crayons and yer pencils...SEE WHAT I MEAN?...it's been at least 30 years since i heard that...but it's still fresh as a daisy in my mind)
sorry for the A.D.D moment...now where was i?
oh yes...back to the program
so i want a reality show that had a theme song like the good years of themed song tv…had heart and a message…made you think and just accept without question...the things you have never encountered before
so my idea for “GET OFF MY DRESS” was to take 15 in-transition people…(my very close an extremely graphically talented friend Faedre would already be preselected as the winner...since she is in-transition and one of my dearest friends...and deserves to win!)
would be put up in a fancy double wide trailer…
the contestants would have started the process or wanted to start the process of change’n their gender identity…but were unable to afford the surgery (after much needed therpay at first of course...this is not like gett'n a tattoo)
they would do various projects and tasks that weren't demean'n to their character and the last one stand’n in the trailer would get the full head-2-toe process turn’n them into the beautiful butterfly they've always dreamed to be
i recently discussed this with Jackie Beat on the way dropp’n her off at the airport a couple weeks back from her 1st fantabulous performance in the minne-apple
she suggested that it was an interest’n show but the name had to be changed as most people in-transition do not (or should not) want to be seen as a freak show… (so "tranny shack" is a no go either?)
she suggested “CAN YOU SPARE SOME CHANGE?”
i’m sold!!
so until that show gets picked up by LOGO or BRAVO tv…come see the reformatted version of
“GET OFF MY DRESS…love is a drag!”
(insert shameless promotion here)…ok...then I WILL!
an UNSCRIPTED script of REAL reality…brought to you in 3D high performing illusionist definition at the Bryant Lake Bowl Theater…
it’s KRYSTAL KLEER!
tell'n true stories about an unintentionally internationally unknown perform’n illusionist (that’s ME) of her own universe…
it took 15 years of cling’n and claw’n her way to the top… stepping out of the shadows and into her very own dimly lit spotlight …but this unintentionally internationally unknown performing illusionist of her own universe finally made it…sorta!
grow’n up in small…majestic cowtown Winona, MN
known for 3 things…
BLOEDOW’s DONUTS…
academy award winning shoplifter WINONA RYDER was named after the town
and of course me…KRYSTAL KLEER
cover’n everything…under the covers…from sex…religion…relationships…and proves love really is a drag after all!
Tickets on sale @ Bryant Lake Bowl Theater Box Office or online @
http://www.bryantlakebowl.com/calendar/shows/get-my-dress%E2%80%A6love-drag
Fridays July 15, 22, 29 at 7:00pm doors open @ 6:00pm
Thursdays July 21 and 28 at 10:00pm doors open @ 9:30pm
$12 in advance $15 day of show
so get a ticket aboard the catch-up train with this unintentionally internationally unknown performing illusionist of her own universe…KRYSTAL KLEER…as she breaks it down what living the low life in high heels is all about.
Alex...can i have "GET OFF MY DRESS...love is a drag!" fer $500 pleez?
"what is "GET OFF MY DRESS...love is a drag!?"
"that is correct for $500"
wait a minute there kitten...how dare you go by without even click'n on that link i posted above...that addy again is http://www.bryantlakebowl.com/calendar/shows/get-my-dress%E2%80%A6love-drag
(click on it now...or someone has to die!)
can’t wait to see you there kitten
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