flaxen appetite

i stepped off the greyhound...and decided to conquer the Minne-Apple...

as my new stomp'n grounds...away from all the misery and contempt that i had so become accustomed to fer many many a day in my hometown 25 years ago

durin' that same year...the IRON LADY ended her conquer of the British establishment by stepp'n down

that jaundice colored dysfunctional family began to conquer sunday nite television

and a lil woman from the midwest would conquer the world of music...

by redefine'n the concert goers experience with the most sexually provocative...religiously controversial and unbelievably spectacular theatrical production ever seen on live stage

the QUEEN of the dance floor set the bar way beyond belief...when she rolled out her "BLOND AMBITION TOUR" fer 3 sold out shows at the Wembley Stadium in London...25 years ago this week (it began in april earlier that year in Japan fer those history buffs stumped at trivial pursuit)

with costumes created by famed french haute couture legend Jean Paul Gaultier...it was a perfect match made in those pillowy hotels in the sky

originally title the "LIKE A PRAYER WORLD TOUR" sponsored by Pepsi...

it soon changed to the "BLOND AMBITION TOUR"...thanx in part to the release of her "LIKE A PRAYER" video...portray'n a sacrilegiously sexual siren Sofia Loren...cause'n a commotion amongst the sexually repressed CASPER crusaders in the south...threat'n to boycott the company from further fund'n their fat tired lazy asses with their product if they didn't drop the QUEEN as their spokesmodel...so of course M pulled the ultimate Joan Crawford and got the last laugh...

 by walk'n away with a boat load of benjamins (5 mill to be exact) without bow'n to their demands

the performance was broken down into 5 eye popp'n segments from:

metropolis

religious

dick tracy

art deco

encore

though the QUEEN has been a champion fer freedom of expression...

thus far into her already amaze'n career...she would also learn the cost of that freedom by have'n her show condemned by the Vatican as "sinful" and cause'n controversy amongst a selective group of hard core CASPER crusaders who called fer a boycott of the show when the tour landed in Rome...due to it's sexually charged religious imagery...which ultimately the QUEEN would cancel one of the 3 shows scheduled

after tell'n the press that her show "like theater...it asks questions...provokes thought and takes you on an emotional journey...portraying good and bad...light and dark...joy and sorrow...redemption and salvation"

then once again...the QUEEN would endure another back hand sammich...

when stopp'n in the fascist state of Toronto (well...at the time anyways)

when it was reported that the show contained lewd and obscene content...the QUEEN was threatened with arrest if she performed the simulated masturbation scene durin' her brilliantly reworked version of
"like a virgin"...she said she would rather cancel the show than alter it....needless to say...the po-po left without incident...and the QUEEN was all over the papers the next day

of course the QUEEN couldn't have pulled off the greatest show on earth...

without the hard work and dedication of her back singers Nikki Harris and Donna Delory and dancers Juis Gutierez...Luis Camacho...Oliver Crumes...Kevin Stea...Gabriel Trupin...Carlton Wilborn and Salim "SLAM" Gauwloos...who recently reflected on their experience work'n for the most famous woman in the world with the biggest show on the planet

hailed as an "elaborately choreographed...sexually provocative extravaganza" and  "the best tour of 1990's" by Rolling Stone magazine...(when they were actually a credible music magazine)...the BLOND AMBITION TOUR would end up gross'n over 62 million benjamins

and became the most watched televised special in HBO's 18 year history...seen by over 4 million kittens

every aspect of the tour would be documented by a very brilliant...

 cameraman Alek Kesheshian who would end up edit'n down over 200 hours and release it as a full length feature film titled...

"TRUTH OR DARE"

give'n it "2 thumps up..one of the most entertaining films of the year" by the late Roger Ebert...the documentary would give the world a front row seat to behind the scenes and up close and personal insight of the most famous woman in the universe 

which was beyond brilliantly spoofed by the greatest comedic actress ever to grace Mtv... Julie Brown with her release "MEDUSA: DARE TO BE TRUTHFUL"...Medusa's rendition of "like a virgin" is an absolute spot on scream

with her current tour "REBEL HEART TOUR" already in rehearsal mode...

which opens sept. 9th in Montreal Canada and end'n on dec. 20th in Glasgow Scotland til the QUEEN takes a breather fer a few months and reopens again on march 5th 2016...fer the 1st time ever in Auckland New Zealand and close'n up shop on march 27th in Brisbane Australia...there is no stopp'n THE QUEEN OF THE DANCE FLOOR

fer those kittens lucky enough to be in the Minne-Apple area...

i...thee unintentionally internationally unknown perform'n illusionist of my own universe KRYSTAL KLEER...will be  pay'n homage to the QUEEN by host'n the "ICONIC: REBEL HEART PARTY" sat. oct 3rd @ Saloon...stay tuned fer further deets come'n soon to this blog site and all social media outlets

now get off my dress