the pleasure...to pleasure...well cuz #1...Shemar Moore is no stranger to my many visual fantasies...& #2...i've had to learn the art of click bait tactics to grab yer attention these days to open me up like a cheap whore...(cuz i you know...you practically got carpet tunnel try'n open Shemar up...didn't you? you dirty lil kittens...meeeouch!) so any'who'z'll'ding...where was i?...oh yes...
a complete stranger...blah blah blah...who graciously was look'n at me
fer a simple hand-out...as i trolloped my way thru the mouse trap of the downtown skyline of the Minne-Apple durin' our recent cold snap...as i donated to my personal slush fund on my quick 90 minute Jane Fonda work-out...from slush palace to slush palace...and though said stranger was a bit more like Shemar Moore's disheveled long lost brother from another mother...who was obviously pull'n some sorta bait and switch scam of his own on me...upon further observation...
in his fairly new look'n $325 cherry red slippers...i simply could not oblige his request and politely declined his offer to come back his palace after show'n me a pic on his iphoneX
cuz we all know how that probably was gonna turn out...and i was in no mood to be shipped off and sold to the highest bidder at some russian slave trade production in some seedy NY hotel...plus...i could never pull off a bob!
BUTT...my point is
as i cautiously and non seductively sashayed away into the distance...
i could hear him exclaim so eloquently..."oh yea whatever...fine...cheap fuck...(insert 10 second pause here) but i ain't gonna lie...i'd still tap that ass!" (and that is a direct quote)...now you would think that would soften my already frozen heart and bend my very generous rules...to never hand out hand-outs...in a seedy downtown alley...in the wee hours of the nite...on a cold dark nite...but...tonite wasn't gonna be any different...oh no...though it's a compliment i'll remember...fer as long as i can!
so i hopped aboard the #4 headed back to my simple quaint lil frozen
tundra of a shit box...(thanx to the landlord)...and ran across a mini doc on my mini pad about the original saucy cat woman herself....EARTHA KITT...and i thought...oh...what puuurfect time'n!
revered as one of the "most excite'n woman in the world"...by Orson Welles...with her distinctive sing'n pipes and her exotically hypnotize'n african/cherokee american look (and cheek bones i'da simply killed for)
make'n her film debut in 1948...as an uncredited role along side Yvonne DeCarlo (pre Lily Munster of course)
EARTHA was the sing'n sensation behind such huge smash hits like...
and my all time fav-o-rit that was Mr. Ron's staple number back in the early 90's...at the 90's...in the Minne-Apple "CHAMPAGNE TASTE"...that every dime store queen from Shreveport to Shanghai has exhausted to death...and why not!
though non millennial tulip sniffers with a broad musical taste...
know all about EARTHA have'n a very healthy and reward'n career in the spotlight from stage to screen to the radio fer roughly 20+ years...it would ALL soon come to a crash'n halt by 1968...thanx in part as the original BLACK LIVES MATTER spokeswoman with her outspokenness at a bullshit WH ladies luncheon...by say'n "you send the best of this country off to be shot and maimed...no wonder kids the kids rebel and take pot!" (and that is a direct quote...thanx to your friends at Google) in regards to the Vietnam war...make'n the lady bird johnson break down and weep...and was subsequently blacklisted by in hollywierd...and branded a "sadistic nymphomaniac" by the CIA who held onto a dossier about her sexual innuendos
it would roughly be 10 years before all the hoopla would die down...
after sell'n out performances all over europe and asia...that EARTHA would make her triumphant return to the US...prove'n she still could hold her own against the ladies of the 80's with her hit "I DON'T CARE"
and receive'n her 1st certified gold record of her career and a staple at discotheques thru-out the 80's with "WHERE IS MY MAN"
EARTHA appeared in many many tv shows and charity events..
throughout the 90's and into the 2000's...until her pass'n from colon cancer on xmas day in 2008...and in true fashion...EARTAH literally left the erath kick'n and scream'n til the very end (as her daughter said that she had come into the world)
though EARTHA is gone...thanx to technology she'll never be fergotten
now get off my dress!
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