unintentionally internationally unknown perform'n illusionist of my own universe perfect'n my stage persona without ever have'n to compromise my artistic integrity fer anyone (yes...i faintly remember hear'n that line muttered from another "performer" years back...so what?) anywhoz'ill'ding...blah blah blah just to appease the masses of kittens thru-out the globe without any (if none at all) regrets...though there was only one time in the beginn'n of my career that i can recall if i could redo it all over again i would'a bought my mouth a ticket to the to catch-up train to my brain when i decided to do a mena je trois on stage with 2 other lyp-stinkers doin the theme song to the 1996 divorcee hit "THE FIRST WIVES CLUB"
after spend'n $50 to have a dj friend remix the song fer us and a couple
of tireless rehearsals to get our sync in step sorta like a pimp plann'n a mena je trois i guess...i of course obviously portray'n the voluptuously tasty flaxen blonde Goldie Hawn character while the other 2 bowel movements in breath take'n bore'n heels wrestled over the leftover parts...though technically we weren't even emulate'n ANY of the characters from the movie...i just needed the other 2 to make sense fer the audience to know i looked much more gooder
only to be confronted by my show director at the time on the nite of our performance that we would be unable to perform said routine fer the audience "KRYSTAL...who does BETTE music here?" inform'n me that SHE in fact was the MIDLER of the Minne-Apple of course
BUTT...there's always gonna be one
shocked & perplexed...i tried explain'n that we weren't try'na steal any of
her thunder...i was only try'n to capitalize'n on a trio in the tune at the time...nevertheless...in heinz 57 sight i M-A-Y-B-E should'a asked her to be part of the production H-O-W-E-V-E-R i was 26 at the time and like most 26 year olds...we ALL think we rule the world...
and i WAS NOT about to be denied all those endless rehearsals that i worked so hard on unfortunately instead of bein diplomatic about the conundrum i had now found myself in i just blurted out the first thing that vomitted from my mind without think'n "well last i checked...BETTE wasn't 300 pds!" (and unfortunately that was a direct quote i do wish i never put out there in the universe) needless to say...there was only one viable option i had left in my satchel to pull out after my unthinkable outburst that even'n...
i high tailed it outta dodge sorta speak but don't fret my lil feline pet...20 some years later...i would profusely apologize and hired BETTE in my very own show as a judge fer my Madonna drag race durin' my 2nd highly successful M party...cuz in the end...i moved on to other arena's with other performers without E-V-E-R
have'n to compromise my artistic integrity!
so after 10 years of feverishly write'n my highly coveted and sometimes
often highly controversial words of wisdom on a weekly basis...flash forward to this new era of artistic freedom where just about A-N-Y-T-H-I-N-G and E-V-E-R-Y-T-H-I-N-G is put under a damn microscope and under attack by the #metoo generation nation...the PC parader's and pretty much any annoy'n algorithm out there...include'n MY fuck'n past cuz it turns out as of last week when i tried post'n my popular lil post from my worldwide sought after weekly blog...
that i have done consistently fer the past 10+ years...i was met with a denial block from post'n it on FUCKBOOK fer the 1st time due to it's multiple postings...UMMM SHAMLOM...i've been post'n it weekly and send'n it as a cheap bday prezzie to stalkers fer the past decade so whether it was flagged by some fairly fuckable guy from my high school days that desperately tried gett'n under my skin recently defend'n his vomitous politicks to me durin' the last election cycle...
or just a complete and total smack down by some fabuless Moolah with no sense of humor...either case i was not too damn happy to get this news...except now it seems all of a sudden that the flood gates are burst'n at the seams it seems with this whole "cancel culture" society we're live'n in!
now mind you Dr. Seuss made the ultimate decision to fall into line with
the current state of affairs and erase certain literature from their lineage (though thankfully they left the above works of art in tact so read them to yer hearts content with yer lil kittens tonite before they're banished to oblivion) H-O-W-E-V-E-R...
leave it to the sanctimonious shit stainers of the political party (that's GOP'ers to you TikTok'ers) to latch on and suckle from it's literary tit...focus'n on inject'n a faux ban to rile up their brain dead light socket lick'n base...THAT THE ESTATE ITSELF DECIDED ON THEIR OWN TO MOVE FORWARD WITH...where certain anal warts chose to recite sonnets from it's books via twitter (of which none of them were even part of the banned list i might add dipshits) rather than focus'n on and vote'n on the IMPORTANT ISSUES AT HAND...like THE FUCK'N STIMULUS BILL to help millions out durin' these desperate times of need (up to and include'n this unintentionally internationally unknown perform'n illusionist of my own universe)
and just so ya know it ALL you light socket lick'n reTRUMPlicunts...remember to thank the DEMS 100% for this...include'n PRESIDENT BIDEN FOR SIGN'N IT since NOT 1 single repuglicunt in the House or Senate decided to help you out so you can get that crate of double stuff ho-ho's or compete in the Miss Wal-Mart universe pageant 2021!
now if that wasn't enough to curl yer cooter wig...the PC parade decided
to drop the anvil on everyone's fav-o-rit parisian paramour Pepe Le Pew by gett'n him dropped from the sequel to Space Jam fer his overt sexually prowess...from 40 fuck'n years ago (oh what perfect time'n)
S-E-R-I-O-U-S-L-Y? kittens...lemme explain somethin...
first off...Pepe has been chase'n the same damn dame fer 40 fuck'n plus
years and i do recall...Penelope Pussycat was not so virtuous herself...she may have lead us all to believe she was some unpollinated flower that deserves respect and DID NOT want ANY unsolicited advances from one Pepe...however...thing is...she didn't realize IT WAS ALL CAUGHT ON FILM...rewind the damn tapes fer all the proof people!
Penelope was not that I-N-N-O-S-C-E-N-T!
be that as it may...i'm glad the "movement" had it's voice heard over the
supposed "rape" culture that "could be" perceived by Pepe's forceful fornicational feline actions without even a simple trial like he was some sorta callous casanova give'n a bad impression to his view'n audience over the decades so he was ultimately canceled fer his "alleged" devious abhorrent behavior...now lil 8 year old Griffin can go back to play'n that Grand Theft Auto bullshit where he just plunged the ax he virtually purchased into that hooker's heart so he don't have to pay fer the ho!
you want more read'n?...of course you do...
so if that faux OUTRAGE by the colostomitick shit kicker's wasn't enough
to get yer culottes in a twist...now they've decided to peel back their layers of unfiltered disgust with Hasbro makers denouce'n the titles of Mr. and Mrs. from their package'n as to not dictate to the lil kittens play'n with em and let them make up their own minds as to who is who and who can be with who...thing is...the parts have ALWAYS been removable (just like yer soul) so they were ALWAYS interchangeable...and besides...
most kids loathed gett'n them as bday prezzies or from that jolly ol' drunk fat ass after 1975 anyways and would just marinate em in aunt Marcella's margarine bucket and watch em bake at 475 degrees in their older brothers easy bake oven fer 15 minutes til they were a molten puddle of toxic chemicals to slurp up with their purple play-do cookies anyways
listen here...the past is just that...THE PAST...we will ALWAYS offend
someone at some juncture on this road we call life...we can't erase history...IT'S ALREADY HAPPENED...they couldn't stop KATHY and the powers that be ain't about to stop me...we can all learn from our mistakes...if you have a mind...use it and just get a ticket to the catch-up train fer yer brain in the end from time to time!
if you don't wanna take my advice...EH!...then FUCK OFF and kindly
GET OFF MY DRESS!
No comments:
Post a Comment