Monday, December 19, 2022

A HOLLY JOLLY GRINCHMAS

with the holiglazed season'n already nipp'n at everyone's runny nose 
there's always that batch of bellyache'n bitches with their britches in a twist who wanna constantly complain about the weather or contemplate whether they wanna simply drown their spirit in some spirits or not!

though most of the population tends to get caught up in the absolute 
pleasure of the chaotic retail check-out lines up until the very last xmas eve minute before close'n time...desperately cling'n onto whatever they can snatch off the shelves even if it's the last bag of ruffled  jalapeño cheddar chips just to stuff in some lil ungrateful shits stock'n...that we often overlook those with a tendency to revel in the disdain fer the ritualistic give'n of the gifts

with the recent pass'n of the "RESPECT FOR MARRIAGE ACT" signed
into law by PRESIDENT BIDEN (that was given the thumps up by only 39 G.O.PEE'rs) which includes non hetero and interracial facials finally bein' able to be legally just as fuck'n miserable as the rest of the population...who was joined in the brief'n room by "GIRLS JUST WANNA HAVE FUN" and psoriasis sufferer...the colorfully unusual songbird CYNDI LAUPER who celebrated the sign'n with the rest of the country

from the great state that birthed the QUEEN OF THE DANCEFLOOR
this life long Michigander with an impressive resume consist'n of lawyer...educator...former prosecutor...senator in both the house and the senate floors and governor since 2019 
GRETCHEN WHITMER has passed a merried of bills include'n protection fer foster kids...bolstered election access among many many other bills since her re-election...though most that are not from the Great Lakes state only know about GOVERNOR GRETCHEN from the attempted coup to kidnap her back in 2020 which thankfully was thwarted...
despite the fact that her cuntasaurus anti abortion extremist repuglicunt opponent MISS TURD DICKLESS who suggested durin' the campaign that it was all just a delusional plot in her head
unfortunately...fer these 3 LARRY...DARYL and DARYL undemocratic dipshits who hadda hissy fit over the states covid restrictions at the time cuz one can only assume that it interfered with their possum fuck'n competition...can now hone in on the art of throat plunge'n in the state pen
once proud card carry'n orange anal beaded affiliates of the "WOLVERINE WATCHMEN" militia...they've now had to grovel pathetically...throw'n themselves at the courts begg'n fer mercy from the judge since they can no longer afford their monthly stupidity membership fee to the wolf club
luckily the judge waved the membership fee and they are now insolent card carry'n members of the CRY BABY club fer roughly the next 20 years!
BUTT that's not all...

after the diarrheic announcement from the orange mentally deranged 
disastrously diabetic dilapidator in chief from the last election...who only announced his despicable run fer the white house a month ago to pathetically hope it would cushion his orange anal leakage from a perp walk to Riker's Island hosted by red headed funny lady KATHY GRIFFIN as commentator (hey...one can dream!)

the bloated circus peanut once again tweeted a "magor announcement"
 last week that got ALL his orange anal beaded deplorables marinate'n in their massengill...desperately gnaw'n on pins and needles fer the news...
will it be paint by neo-nazi numbers and vagisil vixen MTG as his owl screech'n vice bunion buffer?
will it be a double date with his disappointments (and the reason abortion needs to be solidified as the law of the land) Beavis and Butthole to a monster truck rally in Raleigh
or will it be free concerts fer life from KID ROCK's residency at the Crackle Barrel in Kansas City if you just let'em grab you by the pussy?

unfortunately...many MAGA deplorables were burn'n their made in china
blood clot MAGA hats in enormous effigies across the land in every park'n lot from Chick-fil-A to Hobby Lobby (that hopefully include all those friends and fam members that guzzled down his putrid bullshit orange juice since he demoralized the planet 6 years ago that i need not mention)
when they found out that their lecherous lie'n congealed cheeto dusted anal warted gaslite'n demiurge’s 3am infomercial announcement was nothing more than to pathetically promote his latest and greatest grift game to fool them into hand'n over their bingo and bud lite coins by produce'n shitty worthless vanity inflated heavily photochopped fantasies of a 7 year old electronical bubble gumless trade'n cards as stock'n stuffers fer the misogynistic closeted or uncloseted race bait'n ass wipe in yer innner circle fer the low low price of $99 each so he could inflate his hemorrhage'n piggy bank from the multiple lawsuits he's drown'n in especially when they found out that these vomitous works of art were nothing but pointless pieces of poor quality shit  
since all he did was cut and paste his bulge'n hemorrhoid between his shoulders with that haystack hot glued to cover his blowhole onto stock images from Amazon...Men's Warehouse among many other images without permission which will most likely bring on a slew of copyright lawsuits…
besides…the shitty worthless collectible card (literally) has already been done before

although the seditious sack of shit did offer a BOGO holiday special
on his bloated barfy originally untouched scratch and vomit wall poster that you can use to cover the draft in yer tin foiled den

however fer an added teaser...you can also be entered in a delusional
draw'n from his bullshit sweepstakes fer a chance to have him tickle yer taint with paint (cuz i ain’t) or motorboat his Mar-Lard-Goo'd muffin top
surprsingly…even his worn out political wart hog Steve Bannon decided it was time fer him to take off his support hose cuz of his ex boss's latest embarass'n shenanigans!

there is always gonna be MAGA nuts and extreme repuglicunts in many
many shapes and sizes and in every generational letter out there who WILL NOT be happy with just a simple elf on the shelf holiday anymore
so why fight 'em at this point anymore? just ignore them all together durin' the holidays and just let'em gag on their lunacy layers of cunt in a bunt this festive of seasons!

cuz thing is grinchies…in the end ya do get what ya paid for...total SHIT!
now GET OFF MY DRESS!

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