VADER's apprentice...as KYLO REN slashed his way thru the theater receipts fer the return of the sequel trilogy in the STAR WARS universe "THE FORCE AWAKENS" pull'n in a teeny weeny 2 bill at the box offices...
british beauty ADELE returned to the music scene with her triumphant "power ballad" which basically was about gett'n closure to past loves or ANY random cock-suck'n-mutha-fuck'n-pig-slutt'n whore who may have done you wrong just the day before...and i didn't mean to Dr. Suess that last part that's just how my mind works (though frankly...i was more a fan of the dj remix myself)
and i had finally upgraded to the current insanity by become'n a hypnotized hemorrhoidal hopper jump'n aboard the technotoxic train known as the smart phone (cuz everyone apparently had issues watch'n me use'n the easy bake oven flip phone fer my choice of communicado)
though my dumb (yet still supple and pleasantly plump i might add) A-double snakes internally has a absofuckinglutely psychotic SALLY FIELDS melt-down everytime the fuck'n phone asks me fer a damn update to this very day!
in case you just decided to get with the program already in progress...
get a ticket to the catch-up train kitten and click here fer pt. 1
oh yea one more thing...since i'm not doin a weekly reminder on ANY of
my many social media platforms these days (well...cuz i've gone bi...ummm lemme clarify that one...bi-weekly that is) if you wanna stay in touch with my psychologically insane philanthropic communicational endeavors and get a reminder when a new post drops...simply click the FOLLOW button under the STALKERS section to the left of my blog to stay up to date (you never know what free potentially harmful advice i'll expel from my cerebral cortex to appease yer menial existence)
<---------- so click the FOLLOW button right over there approximately 5 inches up to the left under the STALKERS section kitten...DO IT NOW!
and now exactly what you been wait'n fer...the unbearable conclusion to...
BACK BY UNPOPULAR DEMONS (in my head!) pt. 2
so after a few months into my newly acquired trilogy of terror follow'n me
around like a dreadful demon from H-E-double hockey stix...an equally demoralize'n demon that i so aptly referred to as Sallie May Day-Hat...
who also happened to be the Thelma to my Louise at the moment...had convinced me to sign up fer yet another reason to disassociate myself with society and the lost art of verbally charged communicational skills by hopp'n onto the GRINDR train-wreck!
after create'n my profile....i decided to dive into the deep end of depravity
by accumulate'n as many "fans" as possible...it was like an anal retentive rubiks cube try'na decipher between the dear abby readers want'n a relationship to the daily dick swapp'n ass eaters collect'n another hole on their red door clinic punch card...and lemme tell you...
like a junkie to heroin...i was hooked!
a few months into the "hung"er or not games...i was unceremoniously
summoned by a simple acknowledgement from a random chest shot inform'n me that they knew who i was (well that was back when my mugshot was readily available...unlike today fer very obvious reasons)
of course i had asked him to simply identify himself or just move along...
and after a few tic-tac-doh! messages...turns out my insta oatmeal interest was my craigslist catastrophe from a couple years earlier that evidently wanted to try and rekindle the unemotional wreckage he caused after inform'n me that his current tweety twat he was now ceremoniously attached to fer the past 2 years was a swinger like him
initially i will admit that i had zero interest in rekindle'n this fire of fickleness
BUTT...after a few relentless months
i finally was broken down and ate my morally corrupt indignation salad
loaded with plenty of passe' farver beans and a cautiously optimistic chianti when i decided to meet them both out fer a nite on the town to shoot the shit...as it were!
turns out she seemed to be (by all my already low standards) someone
worth gett'n to know on a trial basis...she was the temu version of JOAN JETT's doppelganger with her jet black locks and smoked out eyeliner and had that buy one get one free personality that is lack'n in most people these days...that is until my past "bad reputation" went to get us cosmo's and his current "crimson and clover" point blank says to me "i think it would be really hot to watch you fuck my husband"
ummm yea...well here's the thing regard'n my "indiscretionary" life choices
if you wanna participate in any kinda ring around the rosey with a pocket full of dick with me...ya gotta come equipped with the same plumb'n...NO EXEMPTIONS or P-E-R-I-O-D pieces allowed!
regardless of this very blatant request to have me expose my very throat
plunge'n abilities fer her lil rectal reindeer games...i proceeded to become a regular gobble'n grifter over the next few years at their dinner table...
spend'n time with their very diverse yet downright delightful demons...
even gett'n convinced to go on a 3 hour tour with them practically every other weekend durin' the boat'n season along the St Croix..that is until one year JOAN would become absent the entire summer as we set sail and by the winter of 2024 i had received an out of left field urgent text in the middle of the nite
i was only stay'n minutes away from my cautionary casanova's one cold
.gif)
and dark wintery even'n...watch'n my sibling's offspring's offsprings'
(you do the math)
so i swiftly texted him back to just gimme a ringy dingy...nevertheless...he vehemently insisted that i had to speak with him in person...PRONTO!
well...lemme tell you...i hadn't heard this particular urgency in someone's
text ever since the red door clinic sent me an email say'n i was personally named in a "situation" some 20 years ago and needed to come in fer a "visit"
oooookay...FINE!
just when you thought you were finally gett'n to the end of this already
longer than PETER OSTRUM's career conclusion that should'a ended before it began...
OOPS! i did it again! tune in next time fer the REAL excruciate'n final finale to BACK BY UNPOPULAR DEMONS (in my head!)
now GET OFF MY DRESS!
ps...ummm...don't make me take my belt off...hit that FOLLOW button on yer left approximately a foot and a half up N-O-W! (cuz i ain't send'n out pt. 3 or any others that follow in the future)
***BREAK'N SNEWZ***
apparently if yer read'n this from yer hand held device while make'n yer daily sacrificial meatloaf to yer porcelain god...you have to click on the "view web version" below the pink box with the word HOME in it at the end of this utterly fascinate'n story to get to the FOLLOW button page!
