CHER'N IS CARE'N

picture it kittens...it was the year 1965...and the tv series starr'n funny gal

the vivaciously knee slapper LUCILLE BALL was finally filmed in brilliant technicolor show'n off her hot tamale locks in all her glorious color on the #1 series "THE LUCY SHOW"

a young JULIE ANDREWS portrayed the real life MARIA VON TRAPP

in a post WW2 world...spinn'n around like a tomboyish postulant sing'n like a songbird in the fields of some Austrian mountain top in the #1 film "THE SOUND OF MUSIC"

BUTT (more importantly)

a very young 19 year old CHERILYN SARKISIAN makes her very 1st #1

hit on the airwaves with her floor mopped mini musical muffin man SONNY with "I GOT YOU BABE" in aug of 1965 off the album "LOOK AT US"

after a successful series with her biz partner in and outta their shaggy 

burnt orange boudoir in the mid 1970's CHER would climb outta their bed with the pedal to the metal on her very own...steam'n full speed ahead to her 2nd #1 hit with "GYPSIES TRAMPS AND THIEVES" of the album of the same name in novem of 1971 at 25

once the 1980's rolled around...CHER would finally unwind her ravenous

luscious locks and by the summer of 1989 CHER would make it back to the top spot fer the 1st time on the adult contemporary charts with her 3rd #1 butt bare'n rock ballad "IF I COULD TURN BACK TIME" when she was give'n maxi pads half her age a run fer their money at 43 from the album "HEART OF STONE" 

before the new millennium would begin CHER would once again achieve

 global domination with her massive 4th #1 pulsate'n floor thumper and thee best break-up after math ass shake'n anthem with "BELIEVE" in march of 1999 off her 22 album at 53 from the album of the same title which was also the 1st of many...many...M-A-N-Y "farewell" tours i would be forced to attend thanx to my damn subconscious (tell'n me this "could be" her last time) and also the 1st time i ever would perform as CHER at an AIDS charity (waive'n my performance fee) and i had made that exact headdress from above fer $6 from crap at Axman supplies (that unfortunately melted into a ball of congealed goop in my closet durin' a very hot and humid summer the follow'n year)

after a post 9/11...CHER would return with a snappy dance romp'n tribute 

with "SONG FOR THE LONELY" her 5th #1 in march of 2002 and more popular than ever at 55 from the album "LIVING PROOF"

by the winter of 2010 CHER proved age was just a number in novem 

when she starred opposite CHRISTINA AGUILERA in the campy drama "BURLESQUE" at 64 and hit her 6th #1 hit off the movie soundtrack with "YOU HAVEN'T SEEN THE LAST OF ME" 

and just when you thought that you heard more than yer share of another

remake and remodeled xmas tune...at 77 fanfuckintabulous years CHER has now become thee ONLY artist to have a #1 hit in 7 consecutive decades with her latest #1 xmas anthem "DJ PLAY A CHRISTMAS SONG" off her very 1st xmas album simply titled "CHRISTMAS" cuz WHY NOT! it's fuck'n CHER!

now GET OFF MY DRESS!

CHER...SHARE AND SHER ALIKE

picture it kittens...it's the year 1987 and the "DARK LADY" of the 1970's

was no longer with MR. BONO...instead was now search'n fer somethin' a lil sexier...a lil saucier and some decades younger while sing'n like a love starved songbird...her mug smothered by her long ravenous kinky curls until she latched onto some hot to trot bagel boy called ROB CAMILETTI who shared some screen time with CHER fer the video "I FOUND SOMEONE" in novem that year 

the follow'n month...CHER would work opposite NICOLAS CAGE in the 

italian comedy hit of the year "MOONSTRUCK" where she played a widow who would have her life imitate art by fall'n in love with her finance's younger brother that won her her very 1st and only oscar the follow'n year

the most dysfunctional family on prime time tv would share their trials

and dysfunctionalities in the comedy series on the fairly new channel FOX (when the channel was tolerable) called "MARRIED WITH CHILDREN"

and i would make my midwest debut as the unintentionally internationally  

 unknown perform'n illusionist of my own universe fer the very 1st time (in some trailer park ELVIRA get-up that my grama hand measured and made fer me from her brown polyester curtains in her live'n room window fer hweenie) when i desperately trolloped with my 3 friends Trii…Kevyn & Jackie around some cheddar head county in a town called LaCrosse in Wisconsin where i would share my make-up tips and tid bits with today's guest who i met outside their house with her sister and a friend one warm hweenie nite as i was pass'n by with my gang who then gagged on my look and graciously invited us in to their sordid spooky soirée

BUTT let's move on...

i'm absofuckinglutely delighted to have a lil chitty chatty bang bang with my long but not so lost friend from the 80's SHER PETERS...so SHER let's start with a lil back drop about how we met (if you can remember back that far) to all my kittens around the globe that cling onto every word i've muttered (coherently or incoherently) week after week fer the past 13 years...

Wow, that was longer ago than I care to admit. I’m not sure I remember exactly how we met.

I do remember you gracing our fabulous parties with your presence back in the 80’s.

Also, you were my escort to my sisters wedding vow renewal. (That poor church!) Haha. We danced our asses off. If I remember correctly, once many adult beverages had been consumed,

doing “The Time Warp” was involved. And there may or may not (I’m not sayin’ for sure!) be a shaky video clip of someone picking me up off the dance floor!

we're lucky enough to be part of the few that have managed to make it thru the last 4 decades and like me (fer the past 13 years) as a writer...though you yerself can now put published author on yer resume with the debut of yer fabulous new book "HOW TO DATE A DIZZY GIRL: DATING WITH A TWIST OF DIZZINESS" can you give a lil back story as to how this book all came about and what's it all about?

Ooooh, where to begin! I’ve had personal experience with touches of vertigo since my 20’s. In 2013 I woke up with my world spinning (literally) and was eventually diagnosed with Meniere’s Disease and Vestibular Migraines. During the few months between the onset of bad vertigo and my diagnosis, my boyfriend at the time did not know how to handle it at all. He called me an invalid, said I was a “liability” (this from a guy who lived with me rent free for the previous 14 months!) and that I was “no fun anymore.” He cheated on me and moved out.

It was so mean and heartbreaking and at that point I thought, “this is it, social life over, I’ll never date ever again. Over time I joined many online support groups and found that there are so many people who have vestibular issues and are still single who are stressing about dating. I often see posts from people who don’t want to be single and alone forever but they’re afraid to date and don’t know how to bring up the topic when they meet someone they like or are asked out. They’re reaching out on these sights asking for advice and looking for hope. And really it goes beyond dating to our social lives in general. Friends and family have a hard time understanding our plight as well. Vestibular disorders are rough.

We “look healthy” most of the time…except when we’re falling down with vertigo! (Laugh) Honestly though, it’s embarrassing and it sucks. So after many years of my own personal experiences (some horrible and some hilarious) I really started thinking how much easier it would be to just have a handbook to have people read so they had a better understanding without having to explain it over and over again. One evening I was pondering the thought and the title popped into my head. “How To Date A Dizzy Girl” and I started writing. I designed it to be a fun easy read that has great information for people who are struggling with vestibular issues and can be handed to friends, family and romantic interests without being too intense or overwhelming. I hope it helps a lot of people who are struggling.

I’m going to give myself a little plug here, my vestibular issues were triggered by exposure to toxic mold. That’s a crazy story and not a connection that people often make so... book on that topic is in the works!

not only are you an accomplished author...you also possess the power of heal'n...more specifically the power of energy heal'n...care to expand on that a bit more?

Yes, healing. I come from a long line of magical women I suspect. My Mother was very gifted. When I was a kid and was injured or sick I remember willing myself to be better. I didn’t realize at the time that I was energy healing. I’ve always been a naturalist and avoided going on medications for things. It just never felt right for me to cover up symptoms and not fix the source of illness.

In my early 20’s, one of the many times I found myself lost in the basement of my favorite used book store, I came upon a section on energy healing and bought a couple of books. One was on polarity balancing and the other was on metaphysical healing. Those books led to others. That started a lifelong passion. Once I became a Mother it was just natural for me to help my son with energy healing. When he was little he called it “Mommy medicine”. Even a simple scraped knee and he would come to me to take the pain away with energy healing. When he was a teen he had a horrible ear infection. It was very painful and the only way he could rest was while I was doing healing for him.

Every time I would move my hands away, he’d instantly wake back up and ask me to keep helping. After a couple of hours his ear suddenly popped and fluid poured out and his pain was relieved. I was exhausted from that long intense energy session but it was worth it to see my sons pain subside so he could rest and finish healing. That’s just an example of what was the “norm” at our house.

I’ve studied many types of natural healing throughout the years. Reiki, Qigong, healing powers of water, sound, and crystals, also herbalism, aromatherapy, quantum healing, etc. I am reiki master certified but I really integrate all healing modalities I’ve studied into my healing sessions. When I’m doing energy work for myself or others (human or fur family) I tune in and the right healing for each circumstance just flows and I go with it.

after scour'n the informational highway...carpal tunnel'n my fingers doin a lil ANGELA LANSBURY investigate'n...i found out you yerself have the same fondness fer those 4 legged fur balls as i have...i love dogs (i've even dated a few myself...though i'm speak'n of the 3 legged kind of course...bestiality is NOT part of my kinda reality kittens) what sorta dogs do you have?

Dogs are the best! I love them so much. I have had many throughout life. Mostly mixed breed farm dogs when I was little. As an adult I had taken in a couple mini-poodles that needed a home. I’ve had teddy bear pups, a Pomeranian, other mixed breeds. Some that were family and some that I fostered and found homes for.

Right now I have 5 fur family members. They’re all mixed breed. Definitely have Dachshund in them, some Chihuahua, Shih Tzu, and Terrier. All are rescues so those breeds are the vets best guesses. My oldest 2 were thrown out of the trunk of a car into a ditch in a garbage bag. The person who lived where it happened watched from his house and thought it was just garbage, which was bad enough, but a couple days later when he left the house, he got up the hill of his driveway to the road and saw 3 puppies in the ditch.

He posted on Facebook to find homes. My niece took one of them in and I drove 4 hours to come and rescue the other two. They were only a few months old and they were emaciated and very sick with mange, open sores, infected ears and eyes. It was a long road to wellness but I’m happy to say that they are 11 and a half years old now and both still with me. My other 3 were all dogs I took in that needed homes but didn’t have such horrible beginnings. Needless to say, I’m a strong advocate against puppy mills, backyard breeding, and any type of animal testing or abuse. Dogs are literally the living definition of unconditional love and one of my favorite things on this planet.

My sister has 4 dogs, some of which are related to mine. I’m there most of the time as we take care of our elderly Dad 24/7 so all together our pack is 9 in total! It can get loud for sure! We took on a litter of puppies that turned out to have genetic kidney disease. We had originally rehomed one of them before we knew the genetics and she passed only a couple of months later. We didn’t feel right rehoming any others once we knew what was going on with them so we committed to keeping them and giving them the best life we could as short as it may be. Of the 9 of them, we’ve lost 5 to kidney failure at various ages ranging from 7 weeks to 6 years. Of the dogs we have now 4 are still from that litter and 1 of those is in kidney failure now at the age of 8. It has been incredibly difficult. It’s a lot of physical care and difficult loss when they pass.

I wouldn’t trade the time we have with them for anything though. They’re all such sweet wonderful dogs. Rescuing dogs has truly changed my life.

not only do we have dogs in common...we both also share an exhilaration fer trailers (not the movie kind though i'm sure we could agree on many) i of course am referr'n to yer love fer vintage campers and spruce'n them up...where does that fascination stem from?

I grew up in, let’s say, a humble home. As far back as I can remember I’ve always loved giving new life to old things and making them pretty. There’s something fulfilling about taking a bland or even bit run down space and giving it new life, making it beautiful. I suppose that is one of the ways I express myself artistically. My son once said to me, “You’re like the Picasso of shitholes”. That made me laugh. It was one of the best compliments I’ve ever received!

One of my influences is my love of gypsy wagons. I’ve always dreamed of having one. When my sister and I left Minneapolis to move closer to my parents as they needed care we ended up sharing a small rental house. That’s when I purchased my first camper. I just wanted space of my own and we had the perfect open driveway for it. I bought a 26 ft 1983 camper trailer and fixed it up. When Meniere’s hit out of nowhere and I suddenly lost both of my jobs I began selling off all of my furniture to get by and when I could no longer afford rent I moved in to that camper full time. It was parked in an alley between a friends house and a factory. I loved it! After that, I ended up deciding to stay with my parents for a while since I was 30 mins away and driving was an issue at the time but that camper didn’t fit in their driveway so I stored it and purchased a smaller one that would fit.

That one is a 22 ft 1971 vintage camper. The woman I bought it from had put a lot of work into it and she had a very gypsy decor style so it already looked fantastic, was in excellent condition and all I had to do to was add personal touches. Eventually, my sister bought a house in the country nearish to my parents place, Mom passed and Dad gave up his house and moved in with her there so both of my campers are now parked at her place.

Throughout both my childhood and my adult life I’ve moved a lot. Even when I’ve stayed in the same city, I changed apartments every year or sometimes even more often. I love new spaces so the home on wheels trend really intrigued me. Campers fit perfectly into that. As it turned out, both because of my vestibular issues as well as the 24/7 care of my parents going into year 10, I haven’t been able to travel with them and now don’t plan too. I will be selling my smaller vintage camper this summer and am keeping my bigger one parked at my sisters for now.

My new project is a 1999 skoolie short bus that I’m converting into an RV/home on wheels. I also had a conversion van for a while that I fixed up into a tiny living space and went on a fabulous 4000+ mile trip to the west coast and back with it, but realized, with my vestibular issues, for any longer travels, I need a space I can stand up in. The bus will be perfect and it’s so much fun to be starting with a fully blank space this time. So far I have the seats out and am in the process of laying some very DIY flooring. No matter where life takes me I think I will always have some type of home on wheels for travel. And who knows, maybe eventually I will get that authentic gypsy wagon I’ve always dreamed of.

hey...now we've come to the part of the interview that i like to simply call CAN WE TALK ABOUT ME FER A CHANGE? basically SHER...ask me ANY question under the rainbow (well except about rainbows...cuz that's just fuck'n lazy journalism....insert laugh here)

Can I ask two? First one…I have been trying to remember the name of the little shop on Hennipen Ave (I think it was Hennepin) that we were strolling by after not seeing you for a good long time and there you were dancing outside of it! That was a great moment! But…It’s driving me f’n crazy! What was the name of that place?!

so long ago...lemme clean off the cobwebs on my mammory banks fer a minute...YES...now it's come'n to me...it was LAVA LOUNGE...THEE BEST FUCK'N JOB I'VE EVER HAD IN MY LIFE to this very day!! (though this is a pic of their 2nd location on lyndale after they moved off hennepin) i remember walk'n into the store a week or 2 after they opened up in 1996 since i lived across the street at the time and suggest'n to them that they put a live model in their windows to show off their kick ass club wear...

though i hadn't been to the BIG APPLE at that point in my career...it reminded me of a store in the movie "MANNEQUIN" starr'n the sexually charged KIM CATRALL who came to life and their fabulous inventory of fashion needed to be seen on a bigger scale than just hang'n on the racks...

and bibbity...bobbity...boo...a week later my creative juices were over flow'n when i was hired to be that very live mannequin every saturday from 10 to 6 and i believe to this very day i was THEE 1st ever and ONLY live model who did boy drag/gurl drag in the latest club fashions fer roughly a year outside any store in uptown...pump'n music fer me to move to on my very own mini stage they created outside the store (we found out on the 1st day of me inside the window that i was melt'n faster than a mercedes benz on mars)

MOLLY...WIL...AMIEE...RIK...INDIA and MISSY were thee best co-workers i've ever had the absolute pleasure to work for...i also worked on redesign’n part of the inside of the store as well as many of their window displays thru-out the year include’n their PRIDE float…

that is...until one day i was confronted by a couple of boys in blue who said they had a complaint about my "dance'n"...

specifically that i was pull'n a Madonna and that i needed an "entertainment permit" to continue my prance'n in my LOUCHINI heels so MOLLY spent i think around $40 at the time only to get harassed a week later by the same pig who said we needed one fer every weekend (which i even knew was a complete outright bullshit lie) i don't blame MOLLY fer not want'n to continue with the popo harassments so that was pretty much the end of my dimly lit spotlight career on that teeny tiny stage i craved every saturday

though i always had a sneak'n suspicion the “caller” was from the rival clubwear store a block away who complained to the cops about me (allegedly)

Ok, so here’s my actual question: What was your journey from the kid who brought the best party favor ever to one of our small(ish) Wi town 80’s punk parties (a nice set of knockers that everyone got to try on!) to the fabulous Miss Krystal Kleer of Minneapolis fame?!

well as i stated earlier...my grama made me my very 1st ever drag outfit (which i can freely admit...i looked like some trailer park ELVIRA) outta her front polyester window curtains and i think i found my ample plastic bossum somewhere in lacrosse at a costume shop in the late 80's and i biked all around my small minded town of WINONA fer roughly 4/5 months collect'n aluminum bud light and root beer cans scattered all over the back alley's of bars and backyards then cashed them in fer my very 1st wig (see…i was environmentally conscious before it was even cool plus  i still own that very wig today though i'm not a raveness queen anymore...i held onto it fer nostalgia reasons...why not!)

and after see'n the absofuckinglutely fabulous MARILYN impersonator JIMMY JAMES on PHIL DONAHUE in 1987…i knew someday i wanted to follow in her footsteps…

and 8 years later i would get that chance thanx to my dear but not fergotten friend and co-worker from TIDAL WAVE VIDEO...LEW who introduced me to the show director at the GAY 90's durin' the mid 90's and the rest is (as they say) history!

i wanna thank my dear long but not so lost friend SHER PETERS fer

take'n the time outta her Sherendipity life today fer a lil Q & A and wish her all the best on her book 

"HOW TO DATE A DIZZY GIRL: DATING WITH A TWIST OF DIZZINESS" and look forward to many more in the future hopefully...click here to order yer copy today

if you'd liked to stay abreast of what SHER is up to daily...feel free to on:

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now GET OFF MY DRESS!