infamous life as thee unintentionally internationally unknown perform'n illusionist of my own universe fer roughly 2 years at this point all cuz of some egregiously disingenuous discuntled 1891 dime store Dame Edna bowel movement that i had the displeasure of work'n with fer roughly 4 years
while the musical world lost it's biggest power couple at the moment TIMBER~SPEARS who bought one way tickets to splitsville
which gave birth to the pissed off princess of pop AVRIL LAVIGNE with delicious ditties like "SK8ER BOI" "I DON'T GIVE" and "COMPLICATED" among many many others (ps...side note kittens...she's still pissed as fuck and i'm live'n fer every minute of it with her latest mad gems "BITE ME" and "I LOVE IT WHEN YOU HATE ME" with the full album dropp'n feb 25th...yer welcome)
with the music industry grasp'n at straws fer the next biggest hit maker
to make them millions...they decided they hadda turn the tables at their formula factory by lett'n remote controlled judgmental judy taco tuesday slugs across the country phone in to pick their latest must-have sell-by-date musical sensation that would churn out starlets and soup canned contestants with KELLY CLARKSON lead'n the pack by become'n the 1st that i can freely admit i was absofuckinlutely root'n for from the very start…
that managed to churn out 3 more notable sensations (albeit non 1st placers) however ADAM JENNIFER and CHRIS ended up as 1st placers on the charts durin' in its entire 15 seasons and in my external hard drive catalog (so if you disagree with me write yer senator and bite me twat scratchers) on that cringe worthy competition series AMERICAN'S IDLE
then there were those who were plucked from obscurity thanx to the latest
at home music studio and a computer camera called youtube that vommited out vacuously saccharinated pimple popper’s like JUSTIN BIEBER who blew the teener biebers unsolicited box apart when he was discovered online which spring boarded him into the biggest internet sensation that year with his hit "BABY" which unfortunately skyrocketed his unconscious career
well it would only be a year later in 2003 when a mothers egg would hatch
a lil puke bucket named DANIELLE BREGOLI that 14 years later in 2017 would turn into the spawn of satan's mistress who subliminally forced you to ram a knitt'n needle in yer ear by become'n the next annoyingly talentless piece of mundane dribble pissed youtube sensation thanx to an appearance on some equally incredulous therapeutic daytime dreadful daddy talk show who goes by BHAD BHABIE though these days she's best known to the brain dead biscuits brigade as the "CASH ME OUTSIDE" girl
and just when you think the internet couldn't sink any lower...out vomits this 33 year old talentless tiktok'n maxi padder AMI BIBABI with her rectally regurgitated bump and grinder pile of diarrhea "CHIN UP" that i unfortunately would succumb to an absolute built in migraine from the very first beat once i clicked on the link...nonetheless i suffered thru it til to the end fer research purposes only and yes kittens i do realize i'm only breath'n validation into their very excruciate’n existence by showcase'n their viciously vile voice on my platform around the world
though to be fair...us gen X-er's did have to suffer thru unmeasurable discomfort in 1986 with peddle push’n pastel pusher CROCKETT's "HEARTBEAT"
BUTT...it don't stop there
who doesn't love a duet? the 60's gave us the RIGHTEOUS BROTHERS
these brothers though not connected by blood were connected instead by their cool style'n and rose to stardom with their #1 smooth ditty "YOU'VE LOST THAT LOVIN' FEELING"
the 70's gave us those soft core pornage sounds from SEALS AND CROFT with their 8-track hit "SUMMER BREEZE"
the 80's gave us those ass shake'n brit boys WHAM! with their walk of shame bubble gum hit "WAKE ME UP BEFORE YOU GO-GO"
by the time the 90's had begun we hadda deal with the boys from EXCREMENT...oh wait...i'm sorry i mean EXTREME and their sappy syrup "MORE THAN WORDS" which was more than i could handle before the dramamine kicked in
unfortunately since the new millennium began there has been little to zero
support fer brotherly bond'n duets that would be stuck in our anterior cingulate cortex of our noggin on repeat…that is until last years nauseous ejaculation of "I'M AN ISLAND BOY" heaved up by real life southern floriadian free-style'n tin foiled grill'n toilet bowl brush'n twosome FRANKY and ALEX VENEGAS though they're most notably known by their tough as talcum powder stage persona's KODIYAKREDD and FLYYSOULJA
all i can say is WUT DAH FUQERY iz wrong wit youz turpentine toke'n
tiktok'n teenie tater tots turn'n these twatwaffles into instant oatmeal celebs? i literally feel the need to run to CVS and slam a couple of clorox shooters and give myself a home lobotomy pubic perm every time someone sends me these links…just STOP IT!
i S-E-R-I-O-U-S-L-Y weep fer the future of music
now GET OFF MY DRESS!
