up above parted thru the chilly autumn skies with south westerly winds outta the north at 15 miles per hour while down below Joan had parted her legs to the east and west after 9 months and 2 weeks as the world would become introduced fer the first very time to a jaundice ladened pre unintentionally internationally unknown perform'n illusionist of their own universe at 9:06 am that my dad had derivatively named me after his fav-o-rit gun sling'n Roscoe P Coltrane of the wild west...tv's JAMES ARNES as Dodge City's fictional MARSHALL MATT DILLION on the hit western drama series "GUNSMOKE" that ran fer an impressive 20 years from '55 to '75
by 1983...there was a new much more younger though equally as hot non
fictional sheriff in town burn'n up the big screen in "THE OUTSIDERS" known to the teenragers of the time as the hot to trot high school hard-on...MATT DILLION
once the 90's had rolled around...the very popular DILLION name had
a sorta fictional make-over which was portrayed by the luscious LUKE PERRY portray'n the delicious DYLAN MCKAY as the sizzle to my schinizzle fer 10 fanfuckintastic years til the new millennium on the smash teen drama series "BEVERY HILLS 90210" about high school cliquers deal'n with the hard hitt'n issues of the time like decide'n whether or not to toot around town in their friends cherry red cabriolet or their parents mulberry wine toyota corolla...which incidentally was played by a bunch of middle aged 20 and 30 somethin's (cuz why not!)
and ever since she became a tiktok sensation in 2022 document'n her
amaze'n gender transition...DYLAN MULVANEY has became the new non fictional DYLAN talk of the town with over 1 billion views on her hit video series "DAYS OF GIRLHOOD"
though her career began by portray'n ELDER WHITE in the hysterically
cheeky musical production of "THE BOOK OF MORMON" written by the brilliantly hysterical creators of SOUTH PARK...
and the composer of "AVENUE Q" (which is another beyond brilliant ball bust'n production that i've lucked out and seen them both twice...both A MUST SEE when you get the chance...trust me!)
BUTT...let's get back on track
so once DYLAN completed her journey into womanhood the world was her
oyster and DYLAN would go on to appear on a podcast fer ULTA Beauty discuss'n her childhood grow'n up in an ultra conservative family...come'n out as trans and her subsequent transition which of course would eventually put a bee under the bonnet of (you guessed it) the ultra far right repuglicunt fuckertards who i understand live off a very rich diet of glue sticks and religious gonorrhea that of course they would be forced to trend a hashtag boycott'n UTLA Beauty cuz apparently they seen their delusional entity in a slice of moldy wonder bread underneath their unmentionables that commanded them to do so...while they paraded around with their feministic tiki torches claim'n that DYLAN's claims of F-I-N-A-L-L-Y bein happy in her own body as a woman is completely misogynistic...
yea...that's like say'n dumpster trumpster's are the beacon of all things beautifully sacred on this planet while read'n inspirational sonnets from...
the book of Ernest Goes to Colostomy Camp!
now that ANHEUSER-BUSCH the alcoholic inventors behind BUD LIGHT
have choose DYLAN as their spokesmodel fer the month of march madness in hopes to get a slice of her 10 MILLION+ followers on tiktok (along with show'n their support fer more diverse communities than just their typical target taint scratch'n...syphilis infested audience) DYLAN would once again be confronted fer her spokesmodelness
dirty dick cheeser's like anal suppository spokesmodels KID MOCKERY
and TRAVIS TWITT who think they speak fer most 'mericans everywhere with their combined total of barely there 16 THOUSAND followers on tik tok fer this trans travesty by shoot'n up a case of bud light (that i doubt KID ROCK-BOTTOMLESS-PIT-OF-STUPIDITY doesn't even realize to this very day that ANHEUSER-BUSCH already has his money fer that very case of elephant piss he decided to shoot up in protest) and TRAVIS TWATLESS cancel'n his order of their products at his dwindle'n jamboree's...hmmm...may i suggest KID transition into ADULT ROCK fer a change and grow the fuck up and TRAVIS...well...he's just an angiogram away from retire'n so who really gives a fiddler's fuck what he thinks outside of his halitosed...hootenannied...preparation-H cheerleader swarms who attend his shows
the thing is...ANHEUSER-BUSCH and BUD products have been openly
promote'n and support'n non heterosexual good times every year since 1996 fer gay pride when their 1st slogan was "labels belong on beer...not people"
and then again after the bill passed fer gay marriage in 2013...so basically these 2 anal leak'n...knuckle dragg'n...past-their-prime...brain dead...mediocre has-been...insecure hemorrhoids (and those try'na jump on their pathetic broken down...busted and rusted bus) have been suck'n on that queer beer fer over 25 years...and you know they milked 'em down to the very last drop…so who you kidd’n?
as if that wasn't enough drown'n in the spotlight...DYLAN would court yet
another apparent appall'n controversial decision later by become'n yet another spokesmodel the fer athletic giants NIKE...sport'n their sport bra's fer women
except this time DYLAN would be met in the box'n ring with worn out...tired and retired olympian maxi-padders CAITLYN JENNER and UK swimmer SHARON DAVIES both call'n fer a boycott of NIKE however…let's be real here…the ONLY reason fer the call to boycott is they weren't asked to model fer NIKE (cuz let's see) ummm...THEY AREN'T A HOT TOPIC anymore...the only thing hot about these bosom bitches these days are the flashes and inconvenient flatulence slippage they're suffer'n thru regularly
puhleez...you ALL combined have no tik tok power here...be gone before
somebody drops a house of common sense on y'all and ruin yer internal hatred for civility!
don't all these mundane menaposers and menopauser's realize that their
blatant disregard fer those marginalized groups is not where this country is headed regardless of the political policies that are try'n to ban them from exist'n...major companies have used misconstrued "controversial figures" to sell their products since the beginn'n of time...trans people have always been here since the beginn'n of time...they finally just have a bigger voice and way more acceptance thanx to social media and their social injustices!
now GET OFF MY DRESS!
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