from the 70's turned in his falcon boots and his blaster fer a whip and a pair of under stated carharts in search fer untold treasures make'n fans run like mad to the theaters...dominate'n the box office with the adventurous ride in "RAIDERS OF THE LOST ARK"
DOLLY PARTON had roped in the radio stations fer the number one spot
fer 2 weeks in february of that year with her huge "voice" on a lil ditty she strummed up on her acrylic nails that would end up as the theme song to her act'n debut in "9 to 5" which also became her first and only #1 single on the billboard hot 100
a little added bonus of useless information to stick in the back of yer brain
did you know only 3 months later in may of '81 that scottish song bird SHEENA EASTON also had hit the #1 spot fer 2 straight weeks on the billboard's hot 100 with the same titled song however to not confuse the kittens that tracked the charts in their fav-o-rit rock magazines...SHEENA decided to change the title and spell out the numbers in parentheses fer "MORNING TRAIN" (NINE TO FIVE)" also not to confuse the hollyweird foreign press and AMA judges durin' vote'n season (neither of which even bothered to nominate her that year...basturds!)
millions were rock'n in their lazy boy's with plush interior choke'n down
jiffy pop then quench'n their thirst slurp'n on a can of chemically enhanced fruit flavored shasta (with 10% real juice) while glued to their zenith console with swivel capability ever since someone shot JR in 1980 cause'n a global phenomenon and make'n it the #1 series the follow'n year where they cemented themselves as the very 1st tv show to coin the phrase "cliffhanger"
and i was just in my 10th year durin' the summer of '81 camp'n out at the
Cudahy's down the road from our farm where i used to live when the dad Hunt woke me and his son Patrick up to watch thee event of the summer along with their 3 dogs...well i'm here to tell you i bought into it all kittens...the whole entire royal wedd'n fuck'n fairytale...hook line and stinker...become'n utterly fascinated and forever in love with LADY DIANA SPENCER fer some strange metaphysical reason...however...i wasn't the only one on the planet who tuned in
BUTT (i knew you were wait'n fer it)
16 years later this ferry's tale would be snuffed out in minutes after visit'n
some downtown homo drink'n hole in '97 when i was accosted by 2 snarky and not so put together queens on the dance floor who proceeded to tell me in their best inebriated voices that the PRINCESS was dead and of course my mind immediately went to the rebel alliance's fearless leader from Allderaan so i rushed home to see what had happened
unfortunately...i was completely shocked that this wasn't about Leia at all
after years of the relentless paparazzi hunt'n DIANA down 24/7 before...durin' and even more so after she divorced herself from that slither'n floppy eared royal pain the pancaked A double snakes just to get that perfect snap to sell her soul to the highest bidder...she sadly would end up eat'n it in the underpass of the Place de l'Alma in Paris on aug. 31st at only 36 years old
i couldn't believe that DIANA was gone and yes i am well aware that i've
never had nor probably never would've gotten the distinct pleasure of meet'n her in ANY sorta formal or informal sett'n fer that matter like millions of others...nonetheless...i found it absolutely unsettle'n and completely appall'n how she had been hounded like a hunt'n fox fer years...DIANA had touched millions like myself thru-out the globe bein the PEOPLE's PRINCESS and though bein the unintentionally internationally unknown perform'n illusionist of my own universe that i am...i myself understand on a much less greater scale of course the need fer privacy
i had called in sick to 2 of my 3 part time jobs i was work'n at at the time
and by the time my birthday had rolled around on sept 6th it was the day PRINCESS DIANA would be laid to rest only in a manner befitt'n someone of her global stature and impact fer the whole world to witness
my only solace durin' this grief-stricken period thru-out the entire globe
was when my good friend FAEDRE who knew of my fascination with the PRINCESS OF WALES had just left her position at some uptown travel gift store however not before leave'n without a purple PRINCESS DIANA beanie baby as a part'n gift fer me that i have cherished and carried with me ever since...though many callous cuntruffle's at the time just scoped them up fer profit to sell fer ungodly amounts on ebay years later
ELTON JOHN of course re-released a stunn'n remake of his tribute to
the legendary MARILYN MONROE with "CANDLE IN THE WIND (GOODBYE ENGLAND'S ROSE)" the reworked lyrics were a masterpiece in itself and of course never one to miss an opportunity to make a few extra fans while earn'n a few extra bucks he released a second track on the cd...why not!
how low do you have to go to profit off yer supposed friends death gurl?
ain't it bad enough how the paps profited off her fer the past 16 years? it's downright appall'n what people will do to profit off the pain of others...there's no dignity or respect fer those who've left us anymore...everyone just see's dollar signs fer the dead!
with that said...it has now been 25 years this week since the PEOPLE'S
PRINCESS has graced us with her unapologetic compassion fer others less fortunate...her breath take'n elegant beauty and her flirtatious witty charm who was extinguished way before her time in whatever conspiracy theory that you wanna believe in that caused her unfortunate demise
though as sad as it still stings me after all these years of DIANA no longer
with us...compassion...beauty and charm just don't pay the bills like they used to...so i'm throw'n in a commemorative DIANA issue from my KRYSTAL KLEER KOLLECTION with purchase which comes from a lovely smoke free shithole and untouched by filthy vermin's plus this HIGHLY RARE beanie baby made from roughly hundreds of thousands still has all it's original fuck'n tags attached...both in spearmint condition...so how about we start the bidd'n at 50 thousand dollars...do i hear 100? (email me yer best offer: irisheyes3313@gmail.com)
ps...if you bid within the next 24 hours i'll also include this beautifully etched faux gold framed picture of 70's game show host BOB EUBANKS (that i got when the dollar store was actually a damn dollar) which i will personally sign and also include yer fav-o-rit inspirational quote from BOB EUBANKS (fer an extra $10 of course) but i'll gladly wave the shipp'n and handle'n fee (frame not included) voided where prohibited!
now GET OFF MY DRESS!
