Monday, October 12, 2020

the ORANGE crushed!

double double toil and trouble...fire burn and caldron bubbble
fillet of a fenny snake...in the caldron boil and bake
eye of newt and toe of frog...wool of bat and tongue of dog
Adder's fork and blind-worm's sting...lizard's leg and howlet's wing
for a charm of powerful trouble...like a hell-broth boil and bubble

so about a week prior i hadda put in an order with this specialty doc..
in a long black point hat down the street from me...along with send'n a stamped letter to do my part in keep'n the postal system from goin bankrupt...to that that ol' fat ass in the red suit and doc martin boots and figered maybe he decided to gimme my xmas prezzie early...who knows at this point who got my message first so i personally don't know who to thank...maybe it's both perhaps? (since we worked under code names and all) 
BUTT...either case...i'm happier than a priest on a playground

of course i'm referr'n to thee most vomitous yet appropriately delicious
tweet heard around the world by that mentally deranged IMPEACHED FOR LIFE lie'n corrupt socioapathetik sack of bloated orange dusted anal warted clown shit and PUTIN's personal cavernous bottom bitch

only to be released 3 fuck'n days later...and we (the public) are to believe
the scripted bile vommited from his charade parde of stepford doctors that his health is in tip top perfect order...apparently a 74 year old bloated calorically overloaded colostomitic infused cardiac arrest who didn't have to pay a fuck'n damn dime thanx to his taxpayer funded healthcare is in better shape than the 220,000+

though i personally was glad he pulled thru...only cuz i wanna see him
do the sugar shuffle down the prep walk carpet in a dingy orange jumper and shitty shackles as KATHY GRIFFIN...dressed in a tasty LACROIX number of course...interviews him before he enters Leavenworth prison to use in her next sold out world tour

instantly...the first song that ran thru my cerebral cortex was that sappy
sour patched kiddie break-up ballad by Billy's daughter "WRECK'N BALL" that i was personally never a big fan of anyways...
SINEAD was much more effective back in our days fer those razor blade break-up moments
then i remembered homo hottie ELI LIEB's cover of "WRECKING BALL" and picked up the rusted razor blade and fell back in love with the song after all

though the only thing i seriously related to the current tragedy we're face'n
and this song...was in the title alone...thanx to this pic my x VP of my fan club sent me the other nite...my twisted mind went into overdrive as i feverishly gulped a gallon of plum redbull and was burn'n the midnite oil til the wee hours of the morn'n rewrite'n sadistic lyrics from the demented orange anal wart's prespective... 
with the one and only drag superstar SHERRY VINE or Mtv's hot lil henna haired JULIE BROWN who i could C-O-M-P-L-E-T-E-L-Y hear breath'n life into it...so i wrote them both seperately and left it at that...cross yer fingers kittens...i give you my master piece:
feel free to record yer own version or perform it live at yer next zoom crapoke session!

if that's not enough to make you wanna turn yer innerds into outtards...
now some lobotomized fucktwat at the unofficial WH gift shop is take'n pre-orders fer a "commemerative" tin cup gold spray painted coin fer $100 with the inscription say'n "the mentally deranged orange anal wart beat covid" (i'm paraphrase'n of course) 

how i do wish the Sarlacc Pit on the planet of Tatooine was an actual real 
destination to book a flight to...i would love to bare witness to Miss Pelosi push'n his mentally deranged IMPEACHED FOR LIFE lie'n corrupt socioapathetik sack of bloated orange dusted anal warted clown shitted delapidated A double snakes into it's belly...with C-3PO recite'n his famous last words that he spoke to Han and Luke aboard Jabba's sail barge...
"you will therefore be taken to the Dune Sea and cast into the Pit of Carkoon...the nesting place of the all-powerful Sarlacc...in his belly...you will find a new definition of pain and suffering as you are slowly digested over a 1000 years"

but that's just me hopelessly day dream'n...now go out and cast yer vote 
and GET OFF MY DRESS!

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