BRAVO...BITTER BETTIES

the good ol' days of original good television programm'n...

are long gone...unfortunately

ever since the absolute brain dead explosion of all that "reality" tv...

every rich bitch'n vaginal scab...from Orange County to the Big Apple on the annoyingly popular BRAVO series...

have done nothin' productive but turn the middle class into desperately drunk barbie dolls 

still try'na fit into their ill-fitt'n prom dress...wonder'n where they went wrong

well don't worry my couch sloths slurp'n yer zima and choke'n yer tuna hot dish...cuz the reality shit show is about to heat up and hit the over head

 ceil'n fan this fall...with BRAVO's all new season

starr'n Miss Lahren..."if he ain't Aryan...heck...then we ain't marry'n"...(insert the twirl with a screech'n owl sound here) as the half baked spit fired sorority slut...who can alphabetize her STD's faster than her ABC's

also starr'n Ivanka..."the only think my father wants to do more than fuck over America...is me!" (insert the twirl here with some sparkles) as the FIRST incestually desired daughter 

and KellyAnne..."oh no...the alternative fact of the matter is...i never said what i just said!...wait who just said that?" as CUNTESS CONN'D-HER-WAY-IN (insert a constipated tiresome dizzy twirl here)

and everyone's fav-o-rit anal leakage...Miss Coulter..."i'll probably die decrepit and unmarried...all alone in the dark...but at least i'm still white...and you can take that to yer empty bank account once the president makes you pay for that wall that will most likely be dismantled before it's all said and done!" (insert drooped shrugged shoulders sipp'n on a glass of merlot & whimper'n in the mirror)

and of course the back drop of the whole season...M-E-L-A-N-O-M-A...as the cancerous slovenian stain...that was bought and paid for in full...to make her maker not just look like some pile of deflated  pasty ass ego riddled tax scamm'n loud-mouthed misogynistic piece of shit with teeny tiny eeny weenie pussy grabb'n paws...that can only attract unmoralistic opportunist institutionalized immigrant flies...but that he actually is exactly just that!

(insert blank stare and porpoise noises here)

so there ya go kittens...hope you enjoy the show as much as i am glad i got rid of my cable 15 years ago...now get off my dress!

tits up in the rhubarb

everyone out there always has someone that they have to look up to...

 fer just some momentary p-e-r-s-p-i-r-a-t-i-o-n...i'm sorry...what i really meant was i-n-s-p-i-r-a-t-i-o-n...(ummm...no i don't...insert evil grin here)

i never really followed a leader...i am usually followed...granted mostly by space cases who barely know the difference between their ABC's and their STD's...but hey...i always make sure my standards aren't any higher than my heels...it's alot easier to attain them

we ALL hate to be judged...yet we have been guilty of bein' the judge jury and executioner of anyone else who we see unfit to consume the air that we breathe on any given day...depend'n on how many xanax we popped with our percocet of course

unfortunately...legally speak'n of course...we can't go around shoot'n people just cuz they have no reason to live...otherwise...HILLARY would have no one to kick their flap jack'd A double snakes with this fall

we've all had to endure the reign of our fair share of oppressively ignorant 

vaginal warts fer the past century...from a space cased molded muffin just stuff'n the airwaves with her biodegradable bullshit just to sell books that is any comedians wet dream

to a tenaciously tired tuna purse who made things much worse after dropp'n her dance single earlier this year while try'na stump'n fer Trump after her many failed attempts to milk the public's interest by feed'n them as much of her alphabet soup as possible  

but the cream of the cockless cuntessa's is this right wing'n cunt ruffle... 

or rather...was the first lady of conservatism that desperately and single handedly tried to spear-head the demise of equal rights fer all non ball scratchers and non heterosexuals out of the political system durin' her tyrannical reign of oppressiveness since the 1970's

dubbed the "sweethaeart of the silent magority"...this crusted and very much rusted meat socket...Phyllis Syphilis Schlafly...had spent many a years in the political forum denounce'n and try'n to destroy the women's movements...basically suggest'n that they were much better serve'n their country by serve'n their mate...that their snatch was no match when it came to their ball scratch'n counter parts...but lemme tell ya kittens...she wasn't too cracked up about those tulip sniff'n cocksuckers either

though this up-tight twat had the back'n of many CASPER fear'n hand clappers follow'n in her footsteps...she failed to finish'n bake'n her political pie and her amendment failed by the early 80's

with the outt'n of her ass bandit son John in '92 by an activist (which i will say...i am not a fan of but in some circumstances is very warranted)...this cankersaureous coochie thought it was done as a deliberate act to embarrass her politically...but she would not budge on her position on non heterosexuals and she vehemently denounced gay marriage in 2010 state'n "nobody's stopping them from shacking up. The problem is that they are trying to make us respect them, and that's an interference with what we believe"

she also wasn't a big fan of the interracial facials

earlier this year she stumped fer Trump...which is her CASPER fear'n right to do mind you...but it just goes to show you...that after all this time...and as far as the world has evolved...this bitter bearded clam still hadn't changed her position on equal rights fer all after all...she still longed fer a world where women should still be soak'n in it and the bologna ponies just backcombed her bouffant 

though she made millions callously collect'n coins fer everything she was fight'n against regarding equal rights with herself bein' an exception of course...this pungently pruned pink taco also backed just about every war and said marital rape was "logistically impossible" 

thankfully though...this pungently pickled pussy did her final curtain call when her 92 year old meat curtains...along with her illogical ideology...closed shop fer good last week...she's probably gett'n lucky with Lucifer as we speak...if there's any justice

there are those who might say..."HEY...STOP!...she was more than just a vaginal wart on equal rights...she was also someone's wife...mother...and

grandmother...as well as a great grandmother...where's yer compassion?"

thing is though...hate is hate...no matter how many politically correct

bows you wrap it up in...no matter what age you are...and she was full of it for many many years...fer many many people...by fight'n against equal rights fer all...so if yer gonna desperately try and use that argument with me...then you have to use that same argument fer the likes of...

Hitler

Dahmer

Trump

from the immortal words muttered by one Miss Bette Davis... 

"you should never say bad things about the dead...you should only say good things...Phyllis Schalfly is dead...good!"

her legacy will dry up much like her little debbie snack cake has...so if you want to be treated like an equal human bein...and not shamed fer all of eternity on someone's blog...then may i suggest just try act'n like one!

C-U-Next-Time...now get off my dress!

social suicide blonders

with Lucifer's ball just right around the corner,...

everyone is just die'n to be a pretty girl 

me...i prefer to have more fun as a blonde vixen...

of course ring master to the cabinet of curiosities and german chanteuse ELSA MARS will be at the top of many to duplicate this hallowed eve...however...

there are so many other buxom bottled blondes to choose from...that every lil girl...and every lil gurly boy has looked up to fer their inspiration...

 from MAE...to MARILYN...to MADONNA...

to BRIDGETTE...to BRITNEY...and BETTY

fer those brazen enough to take a long ass walk on the wet-n-wild side...

perhaps try stepp'n into my shit shoes and go as thee unintentionally internationally unknown perform'n illusionist of my own universe and see how how many eyes will be look'n at you with lustful desires

or those want'n to add a lil wickedness to their luscious golden locks...

SAMANTHA...SUKIE...or the SUPREME will do

unfortunately...there are those fame whored bottled witches who just ended up act'n like snaky bitches towards the masses on their asses...

particularly to us gurly boys...so if you really wanna scare the live'n shit outta the kiddies look'n fer a hand-out on the 31st...dress up as one of these peroxided pariahs that've ripped all the fun outta fundamental

daddy's lil blonde haired...doey eyed...alcoholic whore princess...

from the town of brotherly love...24 year old Kathryn Knott...decided to commemorate the anniversary of 9/11 with some Philly love by give'n a local non heterosexual couple a plate of pavement to eat fer dinner one even'n...along with her posse of well dressed non african american ass wipes...

unluckily fer this 24 year old blonde twat and her gang of drunken fucktards...a quick think'n twitterer tweeted out this twatters surveillance footage with FB check in at a local restaurant and soon enough 

the mystery was solved

only make'n #2 as the biggest state in the US...

but home to the #1 bleached vaginal wart in cowtown...AMY KUSHNIR earned her title by storm'n off the set of the K-mart version of the View in Dallas over the summer cuz of ESPN's coverage of a kiss between Michael Sam and his bf after bein' drafted by the NFL 

(don't waste yer time...just fast forward to the 7 minute mark)

this texan tv host sanctimonious media slut whined to FAUX news how her opinion wasn't bein heard

alas...the follow'n day...this all american righteously worn out set of meat curtains proved just how much she believes it shouldn't be shoved in peoples faces

pain in the A double snake hole and politiCUNT on a stick...

who'll spew her hate fer homo's to anyone that'll listen...ANN COULTER has been very vocal about her position against the "don't ask don't tell" repeal as well as gay marriage...used her mold'd snatch to snatch onto her dimly lit snatch light by tweet'n in 2012 that the day after "NATIONAL COMING OUT DAY" on oct 11th...should be "DISOWN YER SON" day...but apparently...she's got nutt'n against K.D Langers

you would think anyone whore'n themselves out at the Miss USA pageant

parade'n around on stage in a 2 piece like a pimp's carnival prize...to be crowned queen of the narcissists... would shut her uptight pie hole and say whatever she was programmed to say so she wouldn't be served up a back hand sammich backstage then have to go back to stripp'n at "toddlers fer toads" nite in the back rooms of the Hurry Back Inn...but leave it to Miss California...CARRIE PREJEAN...to go her own way...this crazy cracked-out-on-CASPER snatch stuck to her holier than though gash between her legs that was meant only fer missionary "pole in the hole" pleasures ...and unfortunately  fortunately came in 2nd in 2009...but unfortunately...she was last seen turn'n tricks to Taiwanese business men 

there ya have it kittens...whether yer dressed as a blonde bombshell or just a blonde that's bombed outta her shell with her righteousness...make it count...but don't be a callous CUNT this halloween...unless you want to

now...enjoy an early lil halloween treat...brought to you by the brilliance of one JACKIE BEAT
and catch her LIVE where ever ya can kittens...or just book her in yer town if ya have to...she's a damn scream!

well...time fer me to sew my snack pieces together fer somethin' oh so...

fab-u-less...so PUH-LEEEEEZ...get off my dress!