NEVER NEVERLAND NONSENSE

picture it kittens...the year was the 1600's and oh what time it was to be

A-L-I-V-E....a long haired sour pussed smarty britches named ISAAC NEWTON earned street cred fer publish'n his book formulate'n the theory of gravity by gett'n knocked in the noggin by a macintosh fall'n from a tree branch above while frolick'n with his "special friend" (allegedly...don't go call'n yer state prepresentatives...do yer own research) by 1705 QUEEN ANNE of ENGLAND would knight him and SIR ISAAC decided to take his cousin Engelbert as his plus 1 to the queen's ball so you come to yer own conclusions on that one (hey...prove me wrong?)

a porgy prolific prodigian ivory tickler and ELTON JOHN's dopplegager

was born to Johann Ambrosius Bach and Maria Elisabeth Lammerhirt...by the 18th century JOHANN JR would pull a CHER all together by dropp'n his first and middle names only sign'n autographed 20x24 paintin's backstage as BACH as he raced up the charts with delightful ditty's like "MASS in B MINOR" "BRANDENBURG CONCERTOS" and the ever popular "THE WELL-TEMPERED CLAVIER" that made all the pleasant peasants go apeshit and faint in the aisles at his many concert appearances

and thanx to Massachusetts bein put on the map by JUDGE DANFORTH 

who popularized the 1st and the biggest outdoor fish fry ever fer all the town folk to witness durin' the Salem Witch trials though unfortunately would come to an abrupt end in the summer of 1693 much to the chagrin of the puritan right

BUTT it ain't all that bad in the end

some 400 years later...the SALEM WITCH TRIALS would get a rebrand'n

in a form simply called the "DON'T SAY GAY" bill thanx in part to this closeted sour pussed anal leakage and drag race enthusiast JOE HARDING who introduced the bill to the sunshine states legislation to stop the supposed insidious indoctrination of kinderbeaners thru third grade of which lipstick...base and eye shadow that goes best with their granimals

which unfortunately will most likely be signed into law by florida's very own medically lobotomized and diabolically unfuckable blow fish RON DESANTIS 

which would open the flood gates and give parents the right to micro manage what their kids are taught in school while they juggle their alone time between the gardener and/or babysitter also would give them the right to have a lil pow wow fer a lil cash cow with JUDGE JUDY if ANY teacher teaches their kids how to so much as stitch a lovely holiday table cloth with match'n napkins outta their dads old sadie hawkins gown

of course this only means that we can expect to hear an onslaught of the

  latest insane singles "jesus christ...you hit the wrong hole...again!" the low ball ballad of "puritanical pussy" and TGIF's boot scoot'n boogie dance floor crazy "2 holes in my bedsheets means it's gonna be alright" from every MAGA's fav-o-rotted screech'n cuntagious pterodactyl soccer mom C.L.A.P'n duo THE INGROWN CUNT HAIRS

thankfully brave students like senior JACK PETOCZ organized a massive 

student walk out at his school recently over this obvious draconian scare tactical witch trial which would only be used as a spring board to further strip non heterosexual students of their rights and their history beyond the 3rd grade that most likely would force them to get their education from gloryholes to GRINDR or hammers to Home Depot parades

and to comic queen staples like the incomparable MISS COCO PERU who couldn't be compromised or bought out by the almighty benjamin's by pass'n on perform'n fer the house of mouse after all that she's fought for durin' her illustrious career after the house of mouse who still funded the bill before come'n out publicly against it to save face and a large walk out 

to all those CASPER fear'n tin foiled cap spray can huff'n soprano howl'n

burnt water chef boyardee graduated battery acid big gulp drinkers and their worn out fried out type 1 diabetic scrunchied masengil meat flapp'n models LISTEN UP cuz i'm only gonna say this once fer the millionth time...

there is ALWAYS GONNA BE peter pansies...

tulip sniffers light in the loafers...

hot flash'n tool'n fools or any other ABCXYZPDQ+ out there all because of YOU so you have no one to blame BUT YERSELF...YOU PUT US TOGETHER by doin the hokie pokie with yer vomitusly sick perversional games

while burn'n out yer record player with the smooth cool style'ns of one BURT BACHARACH as a backdrop to yer retched fornications!

how is this insane barbaric bullshit law any different than IRAQ from push'n yer kids off some hypothetical rooftop?

non heterosexuals' WILL NOT FORCE yer child to do A-N-Y-T-H-I-N-G 

they don't want to do however they will teach them nothing short of how to make you look yer very best at bridge nite with the Bronstein's...color code yer livin' room arrangements that best compliments yer blouse all while create'n a beautifully bountiful chilled dinner delight fer yer party guests

so in the end...why not try redirect'n yer angry where it belongs kittens

 since you non homosexuals have cornered the market fer years with yer tv personalities...politicians...and pontiffs!

don't even get me started on IDAHO and TEXASSES!

with that in mind i must finally bid ado kittens...cuz it's hammer time!

now GET OFF MY DRESS!

church of the poisonous minds

those that know me...or have read about me...know i worship at one alter...

and one alter only...and i'll be worshipp'n there this october...but  the rest of you can find yer alter here

but oh lordy allah jesus christ on a flaky graham cracker crust kittens...

how the ALL mighty righteous cheerleaders have been take'n a tumble recently...their moralistic trousers have been fallen faster than a herpes scab on a hooker...so i thought it's about time to start flush'n out all their sanctimonious shit one by one!

let's begin with these pious pieces of holier than thou dung...

the DUGGARS...on the hit TLC reality series...19 advertisers and count'n
(that are abandon'n the ship faster than a priest at a popsicle stand)

ever since their eldest son JOSH admitted to "improper touch'n" with his younger sisters and a babysitter...fer "a few seconds" "over the clothes"...as they dreamt of sugarplums dance'n around in their dementedly brainwashed heads...while he was still in his teenage britches...

so it doesn't count apparently to these unctuously preachy parents...who basically state that since they were not taught in school...they can wash their hands clean of ANY wrong doin to the victims they bore...well...there's just a slight lil problem with that...ummm you taught them at home...so YOU BOTH were teachers who tried to cover it up...and blamed all the misunderstand'n on this dick dodger's agenda...in hopes that it wouldn't stop the network from shove'n all those benjamins into yer sanctimonious bank account!

yet almost a year ago...you tried to feed into the frenzy cuz of  transpectacular people just like Caitlyn are considered "the problem"...well...i think the ONLY problem here is...that Caitlyn can pull off the playboy bunny corset...and you...Miss Uneducated Bi-Level Cunt Ruffle 2015...CANNOT!

i'm call'n bullshit on these parasitic baptists

next up kittens...is this converted perverted penis pump'n pontiff...

(it's a mouthful...i know presume)
 anti-non-heterosexual throat plunge'n self professed cuddle'n top...Pastor Matthew Makela...was recently busted on the popular site

mo's look'n fer unapologetic ho's

after try'n to convince this teen struggle'n with his animalistic urges...to off himself like the wicked witch of the west...since he was gonna be grilled like a shish kabob at Lucifer's picnic anyways

though i don't condone this sort of hidden agenda this perverted priest was play'n...all i'm say'n is......that this is one priest with alotta compassion
(and if he was at the pulpit while i was but a mere alter boy...i'da considered wear'n the communal robe with the butt cut out...if he had his knickers down around his knee caps so i could see "the goods" up front first of course!)

but not ALL religious zealots are righteous rimm'n rectal pirates... 

take fer instance this Islamical comical clerical crack head...Mucahid Cihad Han...who's try'n to save men from mount'n medical bills and sky rocket'n college tuition's...by lett'n them know that pleasure'n yer pogo stick with yer ivory ticklers...will get you knocked up in yer next life!

though i'm glad he's concerned about the welfare of those who spank the monkey...it leaves a couple of unanswered questions..like fer instance...

- will there be a gynecologist in the afterlife to check our progress?

- will those who practice the art of masturbatory theater religiously have multiple births?

- do we take prenatal vitamins before we die or will there be some wait'n for us on the nite stand on the other side?

- what about adoption options?

- what about abortion procedures?

- those who are unable to conceive...can they be given IV options?

- most importantly...of which finger shall the blessed event occur?

with nutcases like these...you don't need spirituality to get you thru the day

you need a 2 drink minimum just to understand their logic!

well...there ya have it kittens...i hope today's lil episode helped you with yer struggles try'n to decide which is the best words of wisdom to live by

i'm only gonna say this one more time...fer the 2nd time...we ALL hate bein' judged...yet we ALL judge every chance we get...especially in the name of some almighty delusional fucked up entity at whatever alter you choose to waste away at...when ya break ANY religion down from CASPER to Lucifer...from Allah to the Amish...Yahweh's to the Jedi's...they're ALL basically say'n one thing that makes absolutely any sense...just be fuck'n nice to E-V-E-R-Y-O-N-E...KAPEESH!

peace be with you...now get off my dress!