it's that time of the year once again...where everyone scampers to try
and be the 1st one to bitch about the latest snow fall all across their social media planet...you know...as if the other 10 million socially inept people in the same predicament are blind as a shiver'n fuck'n bat and yer the one genius scholar with the intuition to start the bitchfest lett’n the tri state area know about the new fall’n snow that'll last until at least march of the follow'n year usually...as if we’re over populated by millions of Helen Keller’s!
though i for one...say bring it the mutha fuck on! that is until you fender fuck me on my way to my latest lubricational appointment...without the proper lube!
i know where yer dirty lil mind was goin you naughty lil kitten...and ya know what? this time you'd be absofuckinglutely right on the money!
the blanket'n of the new fall'n snow is the perfecto time to wrap up with
that sorta someone who's somewhat sorta somethin' fer the next hour and a half at the very least...who wants to unwrap you on the couch while yer watch'n some sorta feel good uplift'n holiday flick...who ain't just some plausable prick just look'n fer yer dicktionary to try and figer out somethin ingenious to say...while braid'n each others thoughts with a bottle of platinum WET!
if yer look'n fer some holiglazed flick while consort'n with yer holiglazed
prick and don't wanna break yer piggy bank or deal with those annoy'n "please be kind and rewind" fuck'n rentals fees...here's a few gems that i recommend available free of charge on youtube to help set the mood fer yer dude...or dudess!
ps...i don’t wanna burst yer bubble but the queen of lifetime television had absolutely nothin’ to do with these productions
#5 has been made into countless remakes and revisions over the years
but nothing compares to this awful eye sore from 1980..."THE LEGEND OF SLEEPY HOLLOW" starr'n an irksome 32 year old JEFF GOLDBLUM as ICHABOD CRANE and yes...Chicago Bears DICK BUTKUS as BROM BONES...i don't feel the need to rehash the back story of author WASHINGTON IRVING'S genius dark short story if you’ve never read or ever seen any of the interpretations over the years since we live in the age of google and all...just suffer through it fer the sheer pleasure of it all know’n you’ll loose 1 hour & 35 minutes of yer life that you can never get back!
#4 was the ABC late nite movie of the week that's surely not for the weak
"NIGHTMARE IN BADHAM COUNTY" starred a slew of has-beens and dead has-beens from "BRADY BUNCH" daddy ROBERT REED "GILLIGAN'S ISLAND" TINA LOUISE and "TOUCHED BY AN ANGEL" DELLA REESE about 2 college girls Cathy and Diane who take a mini cross country holiday before finals when there car breaks down in a small redneck town and their troubles begin when their “dirty pillows” ignore the sherrifs sexual advances
#3 is appropriate since it's a menage a trois of short stories fer tv view'n
that originally aired in march of '75..."TRILOGY OF TERROR"starr'n KAREN BLACK who stars in all 3 segments and though each has zero to do with the others...my fav story was the last one involve'n KAREN...a rotary dialed bitchfest with her mother and a menance'n wooden fetish doll with an axe to grind
#2 is a new find that i found absofuckinglutely amaze'n fer it's time...only
cuz it aired turkey nite on ABC tv back in 1972..."HOME FOR THE HOLIDAYS" stars a very young "my hair does look like a football helmet" SALLY FIELD as one of 4 disgruntled daughters who return home to see their ail'n wealthy father who suspects his 2nd wife Frederica of poison'n him and asks them to beat the bitch to the punch...there's nothing more chill'n than than a warm family gather’n
#1 is my all time fav-o-rit television melodrama that originally aired in 1983
as a precursor to my foray into the wonderful world of part time prison warden fer other people's minature glamour shot eye sores..."SUMMER GIRL" starr'n "ROCKY HORROR PICTURE SHOW" alumni BARRY BOSTWICK as the dote'n dad trapped in a fuckless marriage with a basket case and 2 puke buckets...til he decides to hire some help to help out around the house but finds out that the petite olgilvie home permed home wrecker is after more than just a lil extra cash fer a spank'n new swatch watch...she wants a spank'n and will do what she has to to get her way!
there ya have it kittens...disconnect from whatever stream'n service yer
hide’n in yer closet to watch and watch some of thee best television movies of the week from days gone by and GET OFF MY DRESS!
