Monday, December 14, 2020

A ROOM WITH A VIEW

there comes a moment in every unintentionally internationally unknown 
perform'n illusionist of their own universe's career where the unexpected is ALWAYS expected…like that time back in the late early 90's when i rang the free “phone line” one late december even’n cuz my biological clock was tick'n fer a lick'n then scampered briskly off thru the blister'n snow storm like some pent up penguin to meet up with this old saint dick in his busted out bronco idle'n incessantly in loring park while he was service'n a festive low ball cocktail in the front seat so i decided to pop in the back seat outta the cold and service his cock-n-tail while fondle'n his low balls as he tried desperately to (how do i say this delicately?) come down my chimney...
only to find out days later he made me waste my hard earned emergency cocktail funds on some herbal essence insecticide and a bic force'n me to Sinead O'Connor my throat plunger shawl (thanx alot asshole!)

with the lockdown and the countdown to christmas that's well on it's way...
everyone's in a pandemic panic to purchase the perfect prezzie fer some pretentious prick...why...even those kinky kittens out there are hope'n to get their sexually frustrated claws on the latest sexually pulsated gadget to fulfill their dilapidated desires these days 

well...when the latest single  "RAINBOW IN THE DARK" dropped a week 
ago by everyone's fav-o-rit 80's karma kween BOY GEORGE and Israeli reality sensation ASAF GOREN...millions of star struck kittens across the globe (myself included) were beyond ecstatically euphoric that ol' Kris Kringle had fulfilled our one wish this year with new tunage to tune out the current chaotic times we're currently fail'n at!
and then surprise'n us with a gorgeous stripped down reworked version to the CYNDI LAUPER girl power anthem "BOYS JUST WANNA HAVE FUN" fer her "HOME FOR THE HOLIDAYS" concert the other nite
BUTT....that's not all

in the cold and crisp early morn'n hours in my ghetto...a very lucky handful of us 
infatuated lobotomized life long followers (and a few stragglers along the way) that were mindlessly shopp’n along the informational highway...got a ping to connect via the informational highway chatter clatter hour over a spot of tea...spill'n the "T" with one of the worlds most beloved prolific songwriters of the last century...thee one...thee only BOY GEORGE (i can barely contain my inner prepubescent self) so let's get to it...shall we?

how are you doin BOY? and i might as well start with what EVERY kitten across the globe is begg'n to know...do you have any new ear candy album come'n out soon on the horizon?
tired and tortured but seeing you has brightened my day...there is no album name there is no new album...it's just gonna be endless endless beautiful music coming at'cha cleaopatra!
one of the things that i am doing is messing around in terms of sound with things from the 80's that i didn't really do in the 80's you know...sort of sounds i didn't make in the 80's sort of to sell records...
that say...THE HUMAN LEAGUE were making or other electro bands were making so i started to play around with that...
so i've done this fabulous track with KIM WILDE...it's very exciting and she's amazing...she sounds amazing...i've also done a song with KIM for her...she has a big anniversary coming up next year so i've done a song with KIM which is my forthcoming duet with KIM WILDE it's called "NAME AND NUMBER" 
and it's very MADONNAesque...it's very NEW YORK...sort of late 80's

ever since COVID decided to fuck with the planet...the entertainment industry has been hugely impacted as to how it will find a creative outlet that works fer their fans at a socially acceptable distance and i can tell you after watch'n a couple perform'n illusionist shows on line back in march...it's just not the same as the in person experience...though the one on one live chats do give the fans some relief when their not walk'n to the liquor store...how have you as an artist coped with this forum? 
i was swiping thru some sorta live videos earlier and saw lots of famous people looking very very awkward  (insert BOY's infectious laugh here) and i think it's very difficult to not look awkward on instagram...there's something very kinda amatuerish about this but you know what? it's a great way to communicate...
so you know that we're getting ready for this CULTURE CLUB live stream on the 19th of December that's my big thing again and just want to encourage as many of you as possible to get yourself a ticket for the live stream cuz it's going to be exciting and it's going to be the first time that we've played together in over a year...maybe longer than a year and right now it's going ahead and we're just hoping for the best and it feels like the right thing to do...you know it feels like you know...someone has to do something or we're all going to go stir crazy so if you can get yourself a ticket
NAM MYOHO RENGE KYO! NAM MYOHO RENGE KYO! NAM MYOHO RENGE KYO!

one of the biggest anthems of the 80's was obviously "KARMA CHAMELEON" off yer multi platinum album  "COLOR BY NUMBERS" 
that sold over 10 million copies and made the band a household name solidify'n CULTURE CLUB as a huge staple of the 80's...but my fav song off the album is a hauntingly beautiful ballad "THAT"S THE WAY" with yer back-up singer HELEN TERRY who is no longer with the band...though it's been years...can you recall how you actually met HELEN TERRY?
the first time i ever met HELEN TERRY was outside this night club called HEAVEN and my friend said "oh she's an amazing singer you should work with her" and i just looked at HELEN TERRY and i said "sing for me" and she looked at me and she said "no...i'm not a performing seal!"

as long as we're goin down memory lane...one of yer oldest friends before you became famous was MARILYN whom you'd met at THE BLITZ club in London durin' the early 80's...she's put her stamp on the record'n
industry and you both actually worked together once with many other record'n artists on the 1984 christmas single "DO THEY KNOW IT'S CHRISTMAS" have you ever thought of collabrate'n together again?
i tried to work with MARILYN a couple years back...it wasn't the most succsessful adventure...the less said about that the better really

now that we're smack dab in the middle of the holiglazed season...misery truely does love company and this year is obviously been a bitter one fer a huge portion of the population even more so in this country w/lockdown and our soon to be X mentally deranged prez...one of my fav-o-rit bitter holiglazed songs that gets me thru the hussle and bussle of the holiglaze is CYNDI LAUPER's duet with THE HIVES "A CHRISTAMS DUEL" 
do you have any fav-o-rit jingle that you like or have you ever thought about write'n a holiday album like may other artists milk'n the season?
i tried to write a christmas song for me and DELTA which i guess now could be an autumn song it doesn't really matter when it comes out...it's got a mention of christmas and new year in it but i don't like christmas songs...oh no i do actually...my favorite christmas song is by THE SUPREME FABULETTES and it's called "YOU RUINED MY XMAS" cuz i just remember christmas as a time of like arguements and fighting and stuff like that so i remember christmas being quite stressful when i was a kid

you've started in the music industry as LIEUTENANT LUSH in 1980 when
you shared lead vocals with ANABELLE LWIN of the new wave band BOW WOW WOW fer a mere minute before you became a global sensation with CULTURE CLUB as well as a solo artist then write'n original music for and starr'n in yer own life story musical with TABOO but obviously as BOB DYLAN sang "TIMES THEY ARE A CHANGE'N" what do you think is the key to the future of the music industry?
you know what...i have to be really honest and say the music industry depresses me...it's just so depressing there's no creative industry with so much restriction so many rules...you can't do this you can't do that...you know a DJ can't pick up your record and play it unless it's on the play list...i did a thing recently for a nostalgic radio station and all they wanted me to play was 80's music which is great but there's alot of 80's music that doesn't get played...there's lots of bands you don't hear on the radio and it's almost like certain people get pushed aside and ignored and you know...you just hear the same things over and over so actually the music business i think has been fucked for a long time and i've not been part of it for a long time so i don't really even think about that...the music business sucks...i did sorta say jokingly the other day on the radio in Israel that radio hates music...it kinda does...it just plays the same thing over and over...for a creative industry the music industry is deeply uncreative and i hope somebody comes up with a new platform that has a bit more freedom in it really
the concept of albums is very very old fashioned pointless and a waste of my time so what's going to be happening just for the furture really is music is just going to come out and there's going to be no particular strategy or album or any kind of structure...i mean all of that stuff doesn't really work for an artist like me...the thing the music industry fears more than anything is getting old so they're always clawing for the next best thing and everything is about new new new and it's one of the interesting forms of creativity where your own industry doesn't believe you can get better at something...it's believes that you do one thing and you're sorta stuck in it and that's something i as an artist hadda take myself out of that cycle and not stress myself out worrying about where something goes or whether it gets played...you are the ones who give it value...so i'm going to be releasing lots of sort of records...lots of different types of records

if there was one thing you could do all over again what would you do?
well i tell you what actually...that's a really good question because i think i would've...i mean listen...i'm not saying that i don't love being famous it's amazing but in the 80's when it all kinda exploded i think i got sorta distracted by the fame aspect of what i was doing and sometimes to the detriment of what i was doing creatively and because i think being famous becomes a job...once you get famous it becomes a job and it distracts you from what you're doing musically and at some point you have to almost make a sorta deal with fame and say "right...i know what you are and i know what i've created and i'm just gonna get on with that" i wanted to be loved and i thought maybe fame would fill that hole but it doesn't so now i want to be famous and i want to be loved so you know i kinda seek both i think

ever since lockdown started back in march fer most of the planet...what's the biggest life lesson you can say you learned this year about people?
you know obviously this lockdown has been a different experience for every single person...i think for some people it's been unbearably difficult and continues to be so i really feel for those people...for me it's just been a case of getting on with it...just getting on with it...putting your head down and just excepting what it is and trying to stay sane cuz you know alot of people out there are crazy bitches there some nuts out there...even people i know are insane

so i gotta ask one last but thee most important question that all yer hard core kittens wanna know about...will yer original lead drummer JON MOSS be joining the band on this "RAINBOW IN THE DARK" concert?
we're suppose to be having a get together with JON MOSS on the 14th so we'll see...
it's gonna be like she's JOAN CRAWFORD at the Coca Cola meeting "don't fuck with me fellas!" 
(insert BOY's contagious laugh here)

i wanna thank my childhood idol that's taught me to "push aside those that whisper never" the ever colorfully peacocked BOY GEORGE fer this absofuckinglutely brilliant interview & look forward to what's come'n next
if yer a twatter...follow BOY on TWITTER
if you want the latest news...follow BOY on FB
if yer ears need some candy...SPOTIFY BOY
if you wants tickets fer a kick-ass concert click here fer RAINBOW IN THE DARK
now GET OFF MY DRESS!

Monday, December 7, 2020

CAN YOU IMAGINE!

imagine fer a moment kittens...that you picked the winn'n lottery numbers
in exact order from left to right (include'n the bonus ball) and yer biggest...most frivolous purchase was to the keys that belonged inside Marty McFly's fancy schmancy plutonium fueled wheels...whisk'n yerself away in but a mere blink of an eye to some exotoc...erotic mini vaca to escape all the trials and tribulations from all this current covid crap consume'n yer christmas treason...

would you choose the post modern prehistorical era of the FLINSTONES
 just to be the belle of the ball to show off that beautiful new pearl necklace that you got as a down payment fer all yer future affection from yer bestie...after he gave you that pent up pearl necklace along with some crotch crickets from the nite before?

perhaps a cozy nite kick'n up yer heels with Knights of the Round Table
is more to yer speed...where you could swap yer cattle fer a couple of cocktails at the local Hurry Back Inn

if i hadda pick an era honestly though...i'd really wanna go back to the jolly
jubilant days of the 1950's...just to be best friends with Miss Kitty's beauty mark...to be her "private secretary" in the back room at her saloon and to find out if that really was a gun in Marshall Dillon's pocket or if he was just happy to see me
where tv intoxication was commonly accepted as a priest on a playground!

of course though...if you really wanted to experience the full effect of the
1950's and how it affected the people of the golden era of capitalism...all you'd have to do is pop into any of the local beauty parlors or soda shops and talk amongst the common folk to find out about all the real trials and tribulations that they had to endure...
the follow'n comments are actual conversations from concerned citizens and studious shoppers that i've personally tracked down from nearly 70 years ago...

Mary Beth Brown told Veronica VanWinkle as she was gett'n a snatched
back bitch'n bouffant "oh Veron...i'm afraid to send my kids to the movies any more...ever since they let Clark Gable get by with say'n "DAMN" in "GONE WITH THE WIND" it seems every new movie has either "DAMN" or "HELL" in it" Veronica snapped back "well MaryBeth...did you hear the post office is thinking about charging a dime just to mail a letter? and i can't get over how i can't afford to be sick anymore...$35 a day in the hospital is too rich for my blood"
(anyone order a back alley abortion?...that's all i'm say'n)

down the street at FERRY's barber shop...you can here Abel tell'n his 
fav-o-rit "bowl'n buddie" Arnie "can you believe it Arnie...when i first started driving...who would have thought that someday gas would cost 29 cents a gallon...guess we'd be better off leaving the car in the garage...and i tell you something else...if cigarettes keep going up in price...i'm going to quit...a quarter a pack is ridiculous" 
(so much fer bump'n shoulders with the elite while you eat and sipp'n on those low balls while he grabs yers at yer fav-o-rit nite spot)

across town...Marcella Tingle tells the friendly bagger at the Piggly Wiggly
that she's been want'n to personally bag herself...as little Suzie stares aimlessly into his oddly shaped padded ass "i tell you one thing Archie...if prices keep going the way they are...it's going to be impossible to buy a weeks worth of groceries for $20 anymore”
(FUCK...there goes yer elegantly coutured wardrobe stash cash you been swipe'n from his weekly paychecks ladies)

think'n of gett'n away with the family fer the weekend after a rough week
at the office? well...why not take a lil advice from Vernon and Connie Miller first as Connie confesses "there's no sense going to Lincoln or Omaha anymore for a weekend...it costs nearly $15 for a hotel" as Vernon adds his 2 cents worth "thank goodness i won't live to see the day that the government will take half our income in taxes...i sometimes wonder if we are electing the best people to congress"
(make sure he filled out the premium life insurance before you take that off the road...road trip)

just take'n a leisurely walk down main street...i overheard the Erpelding 
brothers...Ernie and Arnold...shoot'n the shit with ol' Bernie Wattembach...who was discuss'n the cost of hire'n help at his biz "geez..if they raise the minimum wage to $1...no one will be able to hire outside help at the store" then Ernie jumped in spill'n about somethin' absolutely insane "i read the other day where some scientist thinks it's possible to put a man on the moon by the end of the century...they even have some fellows they call astronauts preparing for it down in Texas" as Arnold chimed in "if they think i'll pay 50 cents for a haircut...forget it!"
(might as well kiss all those Betty Page private show'ns goodbye)

there ya have it kittens....unfortunately times were just as hard 70's years
ago as they are today...well...minus the pandemic and the mentally deranged IMPEACHED FOR LIFE corrupt lie'n cheat'n sociopathetik orange dusted anal warted sack of shit stained venereal pustule...
soon to be removed from the WH!

we all will eventually age like a wretched wine regardless of what decade 
we attach ourselves to...who knows what the future generations will uncover about what we were bitch'n about these days...so buckle up and get with the program kittens and GET OFF MY DRESS!

Monday, November 30, 2020

NAUGHTY OR NICE?

ahhh...the merriest of reason to stock up on xanax this holiglazed season
is finally upon us once again...where liquor sales are goin thru the roof thanx to COVID while parents start loose'n it and begin booze'n it...just cuz all hell will break loose if that hystorectomy pad in heels can't get their glittered claws on the latest fad fer their special lil ones reason why they have a cottaged cheese ass...while dear ol' dad goes an extra 100 miles outta his way just to take the "babysitter" home every nite...
so they alternate that tired old excuse...either #1 ol' fat ass in the red jumper was systematically busted once again fer drive'n under the influence on Christmas eve nite....or #2 they ended up on Santa's shit list again this year...
as to why certain lil kittens...who caused beyond unbearable chaos durin' these lockdown months...wouldn't be gett'n that special lil gift that they've been bitch'n and begg'n fer all year long

in the 50's...every lil lassie went ape shit if dear old saint what's-wrong
with-his-fuck'n-memory...fergot to get them the much sought after hula hoop so they could pratice the proper way to twerk their tush to keep their future pathetic excuse fer a marriage from fall'n apart by play'n that dreaded "my rocket fell into her socket" game

by the 60's...every lil girl and girlie boy wanted that bearded booze hound
to leave them an easy bake oven so they could create their own personalized "baked" goods...just so they could drown out the screams of ma & pa after cocktail hour with the neighbors

once the 70's rocked on...everyone was pett'n somethin' on someone...but
fer those unfortunate souls that never got asked to the prom...or even to their high school gang-bang...they always had their pet rock to keep them miserably happy til it was time to see Krusty Kringle the follow'n year

in the 80's...parents were pick'n out their plots if they couldn't get their lil
grubby paws on that delightfully diabetic insanely bloated Barbie doll that that fruitcaked fellow was suppose to set beautifully wrapped under their coke flocked xmas tree

by the 90's...every child would shank a skank if they woke up xmas morn'n
without their very own personalized speak'n furby from Papa Noel...which was really just the bastard child as the result of a gremlin and a pickled owl’s nite of inbreed'n
and once the new millennium rolled around...it was all just a CROC of shit from old Saint Dick!

though now a days...unfortunately still...the only thing approxiamately 666
children of a certain demographic class want from Santo Clos this year is a proper bed with 3 proper meals a day along with proper medical attention outside of the kennel they’ve been forced to reside in thanx to the mentally deranged IMPEACHED FOR LIFE Grinch & his complicitly evil administrational elves...
and to get reunited with their parents fer xmas...
after travel'n endless miles fer a better future!

so remember...sometimes yer lil kittens should just be grateful that they 
live where they live & quit bitch’n about what they don’t have...now GET OFF MY DRESS!