wha'da bunch'a poppycock!

you all remember when that roguish operatic dandy simply known as

PRINCE POPPYCOCK got robbed on that 5th season of...oh shit!...what was that show again Gladys?...oh yes..."America's Got Talent"  'Merica's Brain Dead One Hit Wondrously High Expectations of How to Succeed into Bankruptcy and Bad Choices from Judgmental Audiences who Stroke yer Ego fer Merely a Minut Minute fer Quickly Deplete'n Cash Prize"

well HE WAS!!!

BUTT...

today's ramblin' is about another kinda meter reader!

let's start with...oh i don't know...how 'bout those bow down bitches in the

oh...i ain't talk'n about the players here...i'm talk'n about ALL the asswipe owners who had their balls surgically amputated...

all becuz our mentally deranged pigshit #45 made a stink about those who chose to kneel...fer all the racial profile'n...AND NOT BECUZ OF THE FUCK'N FLAG...TROOPS...OR SOME DAMN SONG!

I CALL BULLSHIT!

thanx in part to the fine folk at google research centers...who reminded me after a couple of simple keys strokes...that back in 2012...Mr. self professed wholesome wonder bread Casper Crusader himself...lil Timmy Tebow...knelt fer all the unborn "alleged"future assholes of the world and

the fans looked at him as if he's the 2nd come'n of CASPER...but when Kaepernick started kneel'n in 2016...due to the injustices that HIS bro's hadda deal with thanx to a handful of police across the country...he's all of a sudden seen as unpatriotic and a traitor...it makes absolutely NO FUCK'N SENSE

ohhhh hold up...waaaaait a minute...NOOOOOW I GET IT!

i fer one...hope THEE ENTIRE LEAGUE FER THE ENTIRE SEASON...decide to stay in the locker room durin' the anthem...than bow down to those pathetick bitches demands...IT'S YER 1ST AMENDMENT RIGHT!

and if need be...i'll be right their to "support" yer support (insert wink wink here)

next on my list...took place right here in the Minne-Apple last weekend

when Ann Coulter's annoy'n abortion...and loud mouthed lobotomized FAUX SNOOZE slut...Tomi Lahren...attended a drag brunch high atop UNION restaurant in downtown Minneapolis...and got in an altercation with other attendees...and ended up with A GLASS OF WATER thrown at her...

and she hadda have'a break down on FAUX SNOOZE...basically say'n how "disheartened" she was by the incident...and leave it to our mentally deranged pigshit #45 to come to her defense of course...well cuz he hasn't grabbed her pink taco yet and hopes to someday

sorry kitten... but I CALL THIS FULLA BULLA-SHIT!

if yer throw'n water try'na make this brain dead cuntruffled bitch melt...how dare you!...you want it to be effective...you use water shipped in from FLINT MI...trust me!

 last...but certainly no surprise to anyone who has a function'n brain...

was the "supposed" summit meet'n between a dicktator and "rocketman" that was supposed to be of hysterical proportions fer the planet...(insert laugh here)

 this was NEVER gonna happen...I CALL GIGANTIC BULLSHIT...that the needle went around about 100 more times!

it was ALL about gett'n nominated by some of his demoralized repuglicant party fer a "nobel prize" and anything to keep the cameras off of Stormy Daniels "hot daddy" lawyer..and THAT WAS IT!

and though i was handed the key to some hottie's palace while i visited West Hollyweird a few years ago...STORMY got the key to the whole damn city

and i fer one...say FUCK YES...you deserve it!

so there ya have it kittens...now get off my dress!

OBSESSION

the one hit wondrous band from the early mid 1980's...ANIMOTION

sang all about their obsession with one another as it shot to number 6 in the US in 1985

penny loafered hand bag Calvin made both dick weeds and douche hags marinate in his putrid fluff since the 80's

and anyone with a tv tray and a swanson dinner that included a beautifully displayed hot cherry compote fer dessert was C-O-M-P-L-E-T-E-L-Y obsessed with who shot Major Anthony Nelson dur'in the 1980's

of course the only thing that i was obsessed with in the 80's was all about...

the BOY and the QUEEN

(of course...it's calmed down over the years mind you...but nothin' ain't change'n with that anytime soon...so put that in yer FYI files and smoke it!)

but fer a moment in time...this past sunday...somehow i was obsessed...

NO...obsessed is too simple and obtuse of a word to grasp the full concept of my presence that even'n...i couldn't believe the presence of our lil purple paisley one...who chose to sit...all alone...under a cherry moon...oh...and block the Saints when he could...NO NO...

i was POSSESSED like a shark to a bucket of chum...durin' the last 20 seconds of the Vikes vs Saints game...i can't even explain how it all happened...cuz trust me...the only time i'm watch'n a group of guys in tights...sweat'n like a bunch of banshee's on barbiturates...grabb'n fer each others balls...

well...you get the picture kittens!  

but the BIGLIEST...most obsessed O-B-S-E-S-S-I-O-N-I-S-T of all time...

is sadly our unfortunate current piece of pussy grabb'n pigshit runn'n off more at the mouth with his remain'n band of tongue fuck'n basturds...than he is at the office

with thee most revered woman in political history...A-N-D...WINNER of THEE MOST POPULAR VOTES by the people i might add...in our past election...which was more than a year ago!

hmmmm...perhaps Fuckface Von Clownstick outta obsess more about other things like:

i don't know...maybe Puerto Rico...which the Fraudster of Fifth Avenue gave himself a 10 outta 10 fer his administrations response...even though there are still millions without the basic necessities...like electricity and accessories

 or maybe this mentally deranged Adolph Twitler piece of dinosaur dung outta think about help'n the nation out...AS A WHOLE...

and perhaps bein' less of a fucktwat that's obsessed with use'n all his characters on TWITTER every 30 seconds...(which we all know is highly impossible fer this barbequed brutus) while make'n his daily big mac meatloaf offer'n to the porcelain god

to make his pointless point...that just make him sound more like a modern day Nelly cunt ruffle anyways

thankfully there's people like Anna to set the record straight

now get off my dress!

head hunters

anyone over the age of 40 knows exactly where they were the nite...

the castaways on some hollyweird back-lot were under siege by some diabetic headhunter...who was actually just the Skipper who hadda play 2 parts that nite cuz the AJC (Amazonian Jungle Committee) couldn't agree on proper coconut wages

ever since i was but just a young unintentionally internationally unknown

perform'n illusionist of my own universe...(insert awwww's here) i have A-L-W-A-Y-S been fascinated with give'n head...oh i'm sorry kittens...that's a typo...i meant gett'n some a head in life (but more falls to the latter these days...just a lil behind the beauty secrets to any future mistakes/headaches out there salivate'n in my stories) 

BUTT...

that's besides the point i'm try'na make on todays episode...the point is kittens...people have absolutely gone apeshit and lost their heads over Kathy Griffin's freedom of headless speech...

so i decided to toss on my Angela Landsbury fish'n cap and peruse thru all the bitches and the babble concern'n one Miss Griffin and the lil pickle she allegedly put herself into and came across this past-his-prime poster child for kaeopectate comebacks...and thought i'd join in on the conversation...the follow'n is based on actual events:

so after her comedic heart felt apology that was reposted on a FB pseudo friends page...(who shall remain anonymous to protect his utterly sick'n body from bein' molested by the throngs of hungry homo's and future fag hags out there...that would desperately wanna be his personal love slave)...this massengill milker had this to spout out...well...just cuz he does have the freedom of speech in this country...UNFORTUNATELY though...this is MY WORLD and you shall not remain anonymous and pull yer passive aggressive bullshit with me...KAPEESH?...(and really...i'm doin him a favor after all...cuz i looked over his FB page and i think he really needs more friends)

apparently he doesn't recall FOX NEWS FAUX SNOOZE...Roger Allies or Bill O'Reilly...so i thought i'd respond'n accordingly

i made it personal?...to whom?...so this testicular twat swatter decided to throw this in fer his back up ammunition...

well...of course you know it was time fer me to spray on my aqua net...SUPERIOR extra hold and open up a can of whoop ass on this cunt ruffle'n rectal rash

of course...Paul mr. fuckmuppet wasn't finished with me just yet...and like any true virgo...he of course wanted the last word

W-E-L-L...now this bucket of monkey jizz just made it personal...so as i was wait'n fer my nails to dry...i decided to fry up a back hand educational sammich fer him... 

i desperately waited fer a rebuttal...but apparently...mr. volcanic shitnozzle 2017 was putt'n on his 2nd coat of polish himself...so i decided to pull up my fishnets and end this thoughtless conversation that was goin absolutely no where...but my blog

but of course everyone's fav-o-rit diarectic dialoguer desperately hadda try and toss one more zigger...that pretty much fizzled out like diseased dick splash...make'n him look like a sad box of microwaved frogs

well...i knew at this point...this was a typical "str8" man's way of just try'n see what's under the hood...so i gave him a lil sneeky peeky...why not!

this was entertain'n and all and i wanted it to go on fer the next 15 minutes...but the cosmo was kick'n in...and i didn't wanna end up in FB jail...so i left him with a lil part'n gift

well...30 minutes had gone by without a peep from Paul...and i think we can all assume at this point kittens...

that his tuck got stuck!

of course leave it to the far righteous fucks to say "poor Barron"...but ya know...yer right...no child outta ever have to suffer the imagery of their parent in any sorta horrible situation

but...it seems to me this is tit fer tat territory! plus...just another reason fer our TWITTER bitch to try and deflect from the Russia investigation!

the ONLY real crime i can see that Kathy may have committed here was...

try'na save some benjamins by not use'n her make-up artist and hair stylist...kitten...without yer face beat to a pulp by Mac cosmetics and excellent light'n...ya just look'n like some sad ol' cow clit who just finished lick'n barbeque sauce of a bucket of briskets fer $7 and some ass gravy

i would say to Kathy...Kathleen Mary Griffin...milk it for what it's worth...this is yer HELL-O-WEEN year kitten...contact ALIBABA and have them package up a cheap blue bow tied blouse with a cheap red wig...a small plastic face with hay fer hair...(ask George Lucas if you can borrow Jabba the Hut's face fer a mold...same diff really) and a lil bottle of pigs blood...SHAZAAM!

(oh and donate 10% of the profits to my piggy bank since i'm give'n you this money make'n idea fer free)

now...if you wouldn't mind pleez...GET OFF MY DRESS!