the WINNERS take it all!

just like that jilted love affair song so eloquently goes...

"the winner takes it all...the loser stand'n small"...by those poly blend'n saucy Swedes many disco balls ago

this years midterms were like a proverbial Muriel moment fer the dems

"now my life is as good as an ABBA song" now that we've take'n back the HOUSE

with roughly 100 estrogen replacement contestants winn'n many seats

in congress...and many of them bein' 1st's as well...like the 1st muslim women ever elected...MN's ILAN OMAR and MI's RASHIDA TLIAB...to the 1st ever native american women elected...KS's SHARICE DAVIDS and NM's DEB HAALAND

include'n my personal fav...MN's AMY KLOBUCHAR...who kicked ass recently...grill'n the future date rapist of the Supreme Court...and kudo's to the many many others i can't unfortunately picture  (well cuz yer attention spans aren't that long kittens...plus there's google if you need more names)

BUTT...

 lets not ferget there's somethin' about mary...CO's JARED POLIS...bein the 1st open non heterosexual governor...along with 149 other openly lgbtxwzpdq candidates...gett'n a chance to have a voice fer the masses...of course there's some religious asswipes in the state that aren't gonna be all to pleased about this 

and thankfully they won too...cuz they thwarted off the many evil diseased

riddled caravans of terrorists and rapists that were moments away from invade'n our protected boarders all the way up to til the nite of election...so congrats to you all!

though...it's NOT all about winn'n...we can't ferget the losers stand'n small

fer starters...the biggest of them all...kentucky's unlucky Miss Split Ends 2018 and righteous rectal wart hog...Kim Davis...who caused all that uproar over break'n the law in 2015...by stand'n her hypocritical grounds believe'n marriage is between a woman and her many men...by deny'n DAVID ERMOLD and his husband a marriage license

and then of course there's cheddar head-up-special-interest-ass and anal suppository spokesmodel Scott Walker... who can't even ask fer a recount to a too close to call race...cuz of a law he thought would benefit him in the END (pun obviously intended)

and even though Nevada's bunny ranch'n pimp...Dennis Hof...beat out dem hopeful Lesia Romanov...he unfortunately will never get to serve one CHER damn day in office...well...cuz the horny 72 year old bunny fucker did one too many fireballs durin' his bday celebration a couple of weeks earlier...and ended up kick'n the can...(side note though...it takes a special sorta stupid to vote fer a dead man...dont'cha think?)

and lastly of course...is our current mentally deranged lie'n sack of pig shit who's practically use'n the bills of rights as his own personal ass wipe...just cuz with the dems FINALLY took control of the house...and with more women and non hetro's that he'll have too kiss their collective asses if he wants to even look presentable to his base...he's shitt'n bricks and break down in front of the camera

and with his most recent attacks on the report'n media amplify'n...

by pull'n press credentials from accomplished long time WH reporter and parttime George Clooney stunt double...JIM ACOSTA

as well as belittle'n other accomplished political reporters...like APRIL RYAN...YAMICHE ALCINDOR and ABBY PHILLIP...are ya start'n to see a pattern kittens?

if not...google search it...and get off my dress!

bottoms up!

from the title of today's highly informative and extensively researched blog

one could come to the conclusion that i was just gonna be talk'n about all those lovely hersey highway trail blazers that have paved their way to all those pleasure domes of doom fer all us horny corny kamikaze queers...but kitten PUHLEEZ!...back it up just a bit...i ain't all THAT easy sleazy...well not today anyways

besides...you know what everyone says about those that always assume...

you make an A double snake outta you...now get on all 4's fer me

no...today is all about all those repulicunts...failed fucktwats and cunt ruffles

who think their shit don't stink!

let's begin with everyone's fav-o-rit Kentucky fried snakey cunt ruffle'n

county clerk who was jailed fer Jesus last year...due to her insanely unmanageable mane not doin her job...due to her distaste fer fornicational ferry's who wanted to marry in her hometown...so she decided to stick it to the Supreme Courts decision on same sex marriage and save her soul by hunker'n down fer 5 days in the county slammer...only to be risen on the 5th day as some sorta pariah fer the progressives on the right...though her position has a CASPER clause in it that allows her to continue her job without religious retribution...she's gonna be ass up as her position is up fer re-election in 2018...so my advice Kimmy...start play'n the lotto or update yer resume...cuz you ain't got a snow cones chance in H-E-double hockey stix of gett'n re-elected

though Kimmy may haven barely made it by the hairs on her chinless chin

her presimental loser and failed fucktwat and waste of space Mike Huckleberry Pie...who dreamed of a chance to dance in the white house by become'n the open'n act at Kimmy's resurrection...unfortunately didn't fair to well i'm afraid...

as poor Mikey was unaware of the copyright infringement laws...in regards to the unauthorized usage of those 80's alcoholic wives hit "EYE OF THE TIGER" as the song to jump start Kimmy's catalyst cause...since he got doubled fisted with a $25,000 fine months later...sooo sad...too fuck'n bad...hey Mikey...maybe Kimmy can throw a non-blasphemous bake-sale to help cut the costs

last up is that cheetoed slug in a suit and the only republicunt who is proof

that abortions should not only be legalized but mandatory in some bloodline instances...was able to pluck the fuck outta every one of the far right bat shit crazy extremists that were runn'n fer OBAMA's bedroom this past year...but the Donald's pasty white deflated derriere is not far away from gett'n pounded like a bloated pig in a bad wig at the political county fair this fall...

not just cuz he's a sexist egotistical lyin' hypocritical bigot and a wart on the nose of humanity...

no...it's also not just cuz he's waste'n his time bad mouth'n Miss Clinton over Benghazi and her private emails after she's already been completely exonerated from both...or the fact that he doesn't know the diff between the Scots and the Brits

it's cuz he's been caught stick'n his hand'n in the foreigners cookie jar...only to get it bitch slapped big time...cuz...well...it's a NO-NO

i said it a year ago when this whole circus began...that this loud mouthed

 erectally dysfunctional baboon was only in it to only make a mockery of the entire republicant party...

and from the bottom of the bottom i found last week tap dance'n around

 my dungaree's...i thank you...fer all you did to make this possible...you hot headed anal tick'd failure

but to all of yer kankersoredashian'd zombies...i suggest y'all get yerself 

some good lube cuz yer rectum is really gonna require it come novem

now get off my dress!

thanx...give'n me memories

it's that time of the year again to help propagate the propaganda...

that we should give thanx to John Smith fer winn'n fair and square cheat'n at that game of "top or bottom" with Tonto and his peeps many many harvests ago...cuz we all know this is just the catalyst that helped propagate the propaganda from corporations...turn'n regulary insensitive assholes into aggressive zombies jacked up on LSD...

savagely hunt'n fer the latest and greatest piece of over priced crap we can't live without fer 24 hrs...

all made by the skillfull hands of Herminio and his classmates

all packaged up in an unbelievable fantasy that comes 4 weeks later about some jolly burglar that'll come down yer chimney at least once a year...but that's...another story!

it made me reflect on what is it that i'm really thankful fer...

fer most of my life...i have been influenced by female and female persuasions...and though immediate family should be apparently has to be recognized just to save face when it comes time to make sure yer part of the read'n of the will...there has been many more influences that have molded me to be who i am today 

one of my biggest influences of acceptance was when my grama Viola recognized i was bitten by the 80's gender bender bug when i was live'n with her in my late early teen years...and she tore down her brown polyester curtains in her live'n room to stitch me my very fer taste of the spotlight

of course...let me begin by recognize'n how eternally grateful & thankful that i am fer bein' thee unintentionally internationally unknown perform'n illusionist of my own universe that i am fer all of you kittens that have followed my ramblin's fer the past 5 years...cuz without you...well...i'd be just a whore in heels without no wheels

but i'd like to go waaay back where it all began...i could not and most likely would not...be who i am today if it wasn't fer the enormous generosity of the HALL family that took me in durin' the roughest patch in my life and guide'n me in the right direction in the late 80's...when i was but a lost kitten without a scratch'n post or a pot to piss in...litterally

to my very 1st employer who tought me the art of stalk'n...when she paid me $2 an hour to report on who came in and outta of her BF's fucktard's cabin that she helped build along lake boulevard in Winona in the 80's...even though i couldn't work more than an hour a nite...it taught me the valuable lesson to never like someone that much

of course i'm beyond grateful fer my very dear dear incredibly infectious friend Peetrinella fer encourage'n me to go under that pink gelled spotlight and push'n me to become the unintentionally internationally unknown performer of my own universe that i am today (and not just cuz she knows exactly what to get me ALMOST every year fer the past 25 years on my b'day and xmas...*wink*wink)

i would never be the unintentionally internationally unknown perform'n illusionist of my own universe that i am...if it wasn't fer my 1st big brake in train'n heels by one DEE RICHARDS...so from the bottom of my disorganized make-up case...thankie thankie

 and anyone that really really really knows me...knows that i am eternally thankful and WORSHIP the quicksand she walks on

but i'm also thankful fer the many maniacs this year that made me realize that laughter is the best medicine when realize'n insanity is so sensational

like this hysterically hemmoriodal "christian" cunt ruffle...Becky Rommel...who took us on a roller coaster of laughter and lost her ability to form a topic and stick with it...all thanx to the SUPREME COURT's rule'n over same sex marriage...or was it about abortions...i don't know...

but perhaps it's cuz she was just pissed she never got the coveted role as Pamela Vorhees...you dedcide

though Sarah Palin may see Russia from her backyard...she had some stiff competition this year from another crackhead from her home town who took crazy to a new level...Kathleen Tonn stole a page right outta Sarah's book of knowledge when she presented the Anchorage Assembly a tampoon from the great book of batshit crazy...which apparently ties in with equal right fer the LGBT citizens of Alaska HOTH

but really...throw on a stock'n cap and a shade of brimstone and fire lip gloss and i think we all know who this really was

but the most thankful i and the pethra of comedians thru-out the country...

are most grateful for this past year...is the balls to the walls batshit shenanigans...and poster child fer reasons why abortions must continue to be legalized...is one Kimmie Davis...who was as stoned as an Islamic hooker when she was incarcerated fer her unapologetic misinterpretations of her comic book passages as to why she couldn't do her damn job...and though we aren't quite sure what will happen to her position in the come'n new year...one things fer sure...would a lil maybelline and conditioner kill ya?

well...there ya have it kittens...it's time fer me to stuff some turkey...

so get off my dress!

defying a gravitational pull

remember when defy'n gravity meant watch'n the lovely and talented...

Idina Menzel on broadway?

well kittens...hope ya ain't got yer best Loui Vuitton galoshes on today...

cuz we're gonna be schlepp'n thru piles and piles of saturated CASPER cow pies shit!

of course...today's spotlight dance is with the one and (unfortunately)...

not the only spawner of sanctimoniously sacrilegious cherry pick'n passages and Wal-Mart beauty queen runner-up...Kim Davis

so to catch ya kittens up to speed in case ya missed anything...

this Kentucky fried C-U-Next-Time who is a hired state employee...hired to uphold the laws of the land to the best of her ability...decided a couple months back she was above the law...or rather...that her delusional entity... that she only started worshipp'n 4 years ago as a die'n wish to her mother-n-law the thorn in her side...was the only one she has to answer to...since he signs her fuck'n checks apparently...

and denied marriage licenses to these devoted law abide'n citizens who've shared 17 years together

thing is Miss Cuntgeneality...as a governmental employee...yer religious beliefs don't give you permission to defy the SUPREME COURTS decision

nor to shove them down other peoples throat...the only thing us law abide'n non heterosexuals will allow shoved down our throats...is a minimum of 8 inches...*of which i'm not entirely convinced you don't have

so after 4 excruciate'n and embarras'n attempts to tie the knot in their town

only to be denied time after time...the judge decided that Miss Coo Coo Cunt was in contempt of court and tossed this diabetic deity in the klinker...to let her rethink her position and reread her comic book passages...

i believe some delicious examples are found under leviticus 20:10... mark 10:2-12...deuteronomy 22:19 to name a few...after all she was married 4 times...and if i'm not mistake'n...that's one of the no-no's in her comic book passages...so she's basically not only defy'n the law of the land...she's also defy'n the laws of her CASPER

hmmm...does Wal-Mart sell specially designed hail mary rocks...cuz we really outta have one of these everyday...that is if you truly follow the words of yer comic book...

like those do in other lands

well of course after 5 days without any prell shampoo treatments...

her unmanageable mane had now turned to unholy split end'd haystack from hell...so she was finally freed under the condition she'd condition her rats nest and that she returns back to work and performs the duties as instructed by the office she holds...

or there will be consequences

leave it to this delusional presimental canidate dipshitter...who think's Kim...

stood her ground and became a martyr fer their catastrophic cankersaurus cause

now you know...(well if ya don't)...I DON'T condone their... 

fuck'd up fanatical way of think'n like lincoln logs...but when i started to side with A double snake holes like the Westboro Church condemn'n her many marriages...

and the Faux news that screws with the truth...who's also deny'n you a tissue fer yer phony ass tears...it's time fer me to put on my skates...cuz hell just froze ova!

now this thrice married harlot (i'll give her the 1st one as the legitimate virginal wart she presumably was) is claim'n "irreparable injury" due to her contorted convictions...hmmm waste'n precious benjamins that could've easily gone to feed'n the homeless or cure'n the sick...don'tcha think?

in case yer still scratch'n yer religious bells over the fuss of this bloated...

twat-swatter's issues with non heterosexual marriage...here's a handy lil flow chart to her mens-trail cycle to prove the senility of her god fear'n marriages

thing is Kimmie dear...even the kind folk in yer own home town...

have erected a lil lesson about how marriage has already been redefined to fit the times...so i suggest you git yerself some new spectacles and do a lil read'n in that comic book of yers

cuz really...yer act'n like a *DICK in a wig!

in close'n...if you finally decide you can't take the pressure anymore..

and need to relieve yerself of yer honorable duties...i'd think long and hard about other jobs you won't be able to apply fer...cuz well...the comic books says it's not possible without condamnation!

the ONLY thing you got right lady is...YOU ARE NO HERO!

yer just a Kentucky fried CUNT waste'n time with the judicial systems...just to "accommodate" yer deeply held "fucked up cherry pick'n beliefs" who's try'na cash in on some diluted fame that will end up bein' hosted by the likes of Kurt Cameron...if YOU don't wanna be in this dimly lit spotlight you've created fer yerself and cannot fulfill yer governmental duties...then YOU know what you need to do..dont'cha kitten DICK?

of course now she's back at work...work'n harder than ever...

on the inside locked away in her office...with her ouija board summon'n up the ghosts of her past present and future personalities...and Roscoe P Coltrane on the outside guard'n her from the "evil doers"...on the tax payers dime...good to see those god fear'n dollars bein' used fer a worthy cause...

Alex i'd like to take "lack of transparency" fer $1000 pleez?

apparently though...after her dismal martyrdumb wore out...

like a bad hooker on heroin...both Ted Cruise'n fer a bruise'n and Mike Huckleberrypie decided to unfriend notorious K.I.M from Facebook since it didn't give 'em the lead above DUMP TRUCK like they thought it would with the rest of the country...since it's not look'n good fer them in the polls

religions come and go...but non heterosexuality has existed since the beginn'n of time and will continue until the end of times...so the only way

 to ever end the non heterosexual race debate means a complete sterilization of the all current female beef curtains out there...so stick that in yer cup of sanctimonious cafe' and choke on it

if you wanna follow a truly encompass'n and empower'n religion...

catch me at the alter sat oct 3rd...now get off my dress!