WOLVES IN CHEAP TV MORALS

the earliest i can ever recall when i was forced into believe'n that the 

regurgitated cultism of CASPER crusade'n (otherwise known to most as the fear monger'n catholicism cult) was in the mid 1970's when i used to watch the quirky open-minded yet unabashed FATHER MULCAHY from the 4077 infantry on the popular war series M*A*S*H that was time stamped durin' the Korean War (1950-1953) which ran fer 11 brilliantly funny and tragic seasons

by 1983 i was forced to leave my newly acquired public grade school 

gang of goofballs from the 6th grade at Madison behind and join the cult of CASPER crusader's at COTTER high (which some were barely tolerable at the very least) though a majority of them include'n teachers like Mrs. Blank...Mr. Lisowski…Mr. O'Brien and Principal Bork made my academic studies unbearably miserable fer 4 treacherous years that were all but fergotten about by the time i had a break-down and was able to continue my public education once again by 11th grade until i called it quits by years end fer G.E.D county (honorable mention to those that actually made it comfortably bearable at Cotter were Miss Kentiz..Mrs. Piper...Diane Drake and Sister Jan)

though i had become an alter boy by the mid 1980's in hopes to follow in  

the fictional footsteps of Father Mulcahy some day that my aunt Ellen jokingly wanted me to...ironically it was CULTURE CLUB's hit "THE WAR SONG" that made me give the middle finger to that brainwashed cult i was sucked into all together when the priest at our parish told me i was not to "idolize people like him" (and yes that was a direct quote kittens) after show'n him my photo book of pics i cut out and saved from Star Hits magazine when he stopped over at our house one afternoon

the 1st televangelists that caught my eye in the 80's were the lashes of lady

 preacher from International Falls, MN and her hedonistic hubby who formed tv's 1st popular christian broadcast series in the mid 70's with THE PTL CLUB which was short i believe fer "THE PRETTY TALENTED LIARS CLUB" (though some say technically it was known as the PRAISE THE LORD CLUB) it had changed names a couple times thru-out it's 14 years of robb'n the poorly warped and uneducated to make them rich beyond their beliefs...starr'n JIM and TAMMY FAYE BAKER from 1974 til 1987 

TAMMY FAYE would rock the broadcasters across the country by cause'n 

quite a controversy by putt'n a bee in the bonnet amongst the religious relics even before that alzheimered jellybean prez would bother acknowledge'n the crisis...by bein' the 1st advocate fer AIDS awareness interview'n a cock suck'n christian pastor live'n with the dreaded disease back in 1985

of course not surprise'nly her hubby JIM would eventually get busted with his rosary beads down around JESSICA HAHN's ankles...pay'n her off with $279k in hush money from the PTL collection plate before gett'n busted fer cook'n the books and receive'n an 8 year vaca in the federal po-po

the lobotomized flock couldn't escape the gravitational pull of chaucerian 

fraudster...the diabetic demon with gastronomic glandular issues JERRY FALWELL...who had built the biblical barracks fer future CASPER cultists called Liberty University milk’n millions since the 70's desperately try’n to influence the masses on their asses with his apocalyptic anal-warted agenda...by the 90's he singled out UK's children's program the TELLETUBBIES...

specifically the absurdly ambiguousness character TINKY WINKY with their eggplant fur...wi-fi head piece and of course the magic red prada purse and their fascination of skipp'n thru the tulips in a tutu which was obviously just a ploy try'n to indoctrinate male tikes into wear'n tiara's and the art of anal bead'n

by sept 2001 he pointed his blood sausaged fingers on the cock-suckers...

muffin divers...abortionists...feminists and the pagans of Pensacola and everywhere else around the country fer the attacks on the World Trade Center...luckily sanity prevailed and that glutenous gargoyle finally choked on his seethin' spite at his desk in 2007 after begg'n his CASPER fer 20 more years to complete his basturdization of the fabled short stories book most call the bible

though the most colorful cracked out CASPER character was a CROTCH

i'm so sorry...i mean JAN CROUCH with her lavender do jacked up to jesus...JAN and her hubby PAUL co-founded the TBN channel (Total Bullshit Network known by most viewers i guess as the Trinity Broadcast Network...sue me!) with friends JIM AND TAMMY BAKKER in 1974 (though they left by 1975) JAN enjoyed milk'n the meek and mundane followers fer over 30 years

til she was busted by her granddaughter in 2012 who worked at the network fer cash'n in on the collection plate to fund her lavish lifestyle and that enormous wig collection of hers…unfortunately that same year another granddaughter who was 13 at the time sued her granny when JAN was try'na cover-up her granddaughter's rape by a TBN employee blame'n it all on the granddaughter herself. (ain't she a peach!) JAN luckily suffered a massive stroke in may of 2016 and would kick up daises 6 days later at 77

after TAMMY FAYE dropped her hubby fer infidelity and fraud and also

her last name...TAMMY FAYE would rejoice and reinvent herself from phony tv evangelist to LGBTXYZPDQ advocate and marry her 2nd husband ROE RESSNER (who incidentally worked as a builder fer her defunked HERITAGE USA theme park) and enjoyed a resurrection of her very own...

host'n her talk show with LGBTXYZPDQ alumni JIM J BULLOCK on "THE JIM J and TAMMY FAYE SHOW" that only ran one season in 1996 though TAMMY FAYE would make many many other television appearances on numerous talk shows to reality tv thru-out the 90’s

by year 2000...TAMMY FAYE was the subject of a fabulous documentary 

commentated by "SUPERMODEL (you better work)" sensation RUPAUL in "THE EYE"S OF TAMMY FAYE" which documented the rise and fall of her ministry and her faith...TAMMY FAYE would put on her last set of lashes in july of 2007 at 65

by 2021 TAMMY FAYE would be immortalized on the screen once again

with her life turned into a marvelous major motion picture of the same name as her documentary 21 years earlier which won JESSICA CHASTAIN's portrayal of the mascara maven an oscar in 2022

after take'n over where his dad left off years ago JERRY FALWELL JR

would be instrumental in the rise of the mentally deranged orange anal wart weaponize'n the country by donate'n millions to his presidency and lock'n up the regurgitated right wing religious vote...unfortunately fer JR...he would fall far from grace simply by his greedy texts...

where the hypocrisy of his ministry teach'ns is on display in it's finest in this well documented HULU original "GOD FORBID" A MUST SEE! (hack into yer neighbors account if you have to…seriously)

though they weren't necessarily poach'n preachers...they were very vocal

about their faith on their snorefest series that aired on the USA network fer 9 vomitous seasons...til the heads of the household were busted fer (wait fer it...you guessed it) conspiracy to commit a $30 million fraud from the banks and winn'n a total of 19 years behind bars and their accountant gett'n a respectable 3 years...but don't fret my pious pets...

yer fav-o-rit faithless fraudsters will be back in a new series this summer...and i am sure i'll tune in

how beyond brain dead to you have to be to believe that tv theocracy is

nothing more than a religious rip-off hypocrisy?

and the church wonders why their collection plates and pews are dry'n up 

in the end…believe what you wanna believe in (i personally don't give a fiddler's fuck) IT'S YER CHOICE! i myself believe in the praise and practice of MADONNISM which will incidentally be on full glorious display start'n this july…get yer tickets here fer the most masterful mystical musical icon of our time

now GET OFF MY DRESS!

what's up...DOC?

almost everyone out there desperately needs to take a break now & then

from their very tiresome and tediously tawdryless "time to make the donuts" existence durin' these mundane damn panic times and learn a lil bit more about the world outside of their narcissistically curious compact...audiences were riveted 10 years ago this month to learn about the fascinate'n tales behind all the glitz and glamour of a truly undeniably unintentionally internationally unknown perform'n illusionist of their own universe in my very 1st mini docudrama...directed by the Martin Scoresissy of the Minne-Apple and my friend Tony Larson...that you can waste 5 minutes & 22 seconds of yer life to relive by click'n on this link

BUTT...that's not all there is to know

recently i myself decided to expanded my horizons...instead of my over 

the rainbow road ego and learned about a true love story between 2 adorable consent'n adults with unbridled forbidden passion in "A SECRET LOVE" play'n now on Netflix...that any real carpet cleaner or anyone with a pulse fer that matter...would absolutely enjoy 

(ps...have a box of kleenex handy...i'm just say'n)

then i decided it was time to revisit some of my other fav-o-rit true stories

NO...not those you kinky lil kittens! so here is a list of my top 13 docs you outta check out if yer tired of psychoanalyze'n the TIGER KING one more time (in no chronological order)

#13...although it's been roughly 2 full years since it's debut in theaters

it's about time to remind yerself once again that no matter what yer contempt towards the ever brilliant satirist docu-filmmaker MICHAEL MOORE...his brilliant "FAHRENHEIT 11/9" will remind you to make sure that the mentally deranged corrupt sociopathetik bloated anal wart with the cottage cheese ass disgrace'n the WH and terrorize'n the planet...DOES NOT make it past nov 5th!

#12...i was completely awe struck think'n that everything was always

finger lick'n good just like that colostomitic cornel used to say...until i stumbled across this eye open'n doc one nite on youtube...starr'n hot-to-trot filmmaker MORGAN SPURLOCK in his 2nd fascinate'n flick pluck'n apart the poultry industry in "SUPERSIZE ME 2: HOLY CHICKEN"

#11...though she started on the D-List...this red headed spit fire ended up

on the shit list with the hollywierd elite and portions of the deplorable anal warts of a'murica fer practice'n her 1st amendment right as an A-List comedian take'n on the mentally deranged sociopathetik bloated piece of orange pig shit with the cottage cheese ass...unfortunately her career kamikazi'd within 24 hrs from release'n the "picture" seen around the world...but like a true deligant damsel in the blue dress...KATHY GRIFFIN rose like a phoenix fer the flamers and sold out her experience take'n on the mentally deranged sociopathetik bloated piece of orange pig shit with the cottage cheese ass at shows around the globe and documented her experience in "A HELL OF A STORY"

#10...i don't get the fear factor when it comes to clowns...i really don't!

OH WAIT! you will when you watch this deadly doc style terror w/a comical twist with IT's cousin "WRINKLES THE CLOWN"

#9...though dearly departed from this planet about 13 years ago now...

everyone's fav-o-rit maybellined minister...TAMMY FAYE BAKER knew how to accept all who crossed her path...regardless of race...religion or whatever rectal pirate you wanted to reem on any given nite...narrated by MAC's minister RuPaul..."THE EYES OF TAMMY FAYE" will have you sing'n her praises in hopes that she raises...someday!

#8...christened the "most beautiful woman in the world" by filmmaker

JOHN WATERS...this larger than life persona became infamous fer eat'n dog shit in the hysterical low budget raunchy hit "PINK FLAMINGO'S" in 1972...chronicle'n her rise from the streets of Baltimore to the bright lights of Hollywierd...simply known as DIVINE..."I AM DIVINE" is a MUST SEE doc fer any Rutard enthusiast who thinks that their fav queen is "iconic"...none of them can hold a heel to DIVINE's massive legacy...currently play'n on Netflix

#7...the one reason why i rarely EVER take a trip to a tricks residence...

"VOYUER" makes you rethink about ever rent'n a room at some run down road side motel...ever again...air'n on Netflix currently

#6...though i was an alter boy at one point in my teen aged life...i soon 

learned it was all just a crock of shit...cuz basically if you take ANY religion (well...maybe not satanism) and remove ALL the money...they're ALL basically say'n...just don't be an anal wart to others...and BILL MAHER breaks it down perfectly by flush'n out the hypocrisy in "RELIGULOUS"

#5...one of the greatest pioneers in female comedy...was also the hardest

work'n woman in the biz up until her untimely pass'n in 2014 at the tender age of 81...JOAN RIVERS in "A PIECE OF WORK" explores her entire career from the triumphants to the tragedies...a true trail blazer gone way before her time

#4...ever wonder about all the shitty shenanigans of the great white way?

in 2007...director DORI BERINSTEIN followed 4 musicals "TABOO" "WICKED" "AVENUE Q" and "CAROLINE FOR CHANGE" up fer musical accolades and all the trials and tribulations that went along with putt'n together a masterpiece fer the masses on Broadway and the razor sharp tongues of the critics in "SHOWBUSINESS"

#3...the queen of the dance floor blew the documentary world away with

her jaw dropp'n behind the scenes look at life on the road and putt'n together her massive BLONDE AMBITION world tour in "TRUTH OR DARE" back in 1991...by 2007 MADONNA had hung up her heels (fer a minute) and had other ambitions by channel'n her career to help rebuild the improvrished tiny town of Malawi Africa with her charity RAISING MALAWI and chronicle'n her quest in "I AM BECAUSE WE ARE"

#2...the 70's were filled with a den of drugs...disco...and deliver me from

evil debauchery...and none was more spectacularly displayed fer view'n audiences than LINDA LOVELACE in "DEEP THROAT"...33 years later in 2005...director FENTON BAILEY dove deep into the back story of the 1st ever full screen theatrical release of the biggest talked about porn movie in american history and lays out how the govenrment desperately tried to control what happened in yer bedroom and what ever happened to the movies infamous star in "INSIDE DEEP THROAT"

#1...though only credited as an executive producer MICHEAL MOORE

rounds out my top 10 docs worth watch'n while yer hunker'n down in yer parents basement...with yer bong and yer bad breath...director JEFF GIBBS explores the the under belly of how the "green deal" IS NOT so green as it's lead you to believe after all in "PLANET OF THE HUMANS"

there ya have it kittens...hopefully one of these were able to trip yer trigger

if not...bite me...and GET OFF MY DRESS!