WASN'T MY JOB

to think it's been 3 years since the photograph that was seen around the

world by the mayor of ZERO fucks to give...just hold'n up a mask of our unfortunate mentally deranged IMPEACHED FOR LIFE sociopathetik lie'n corrupt bloated sack of pig shit with the cottage cheesed ass...marinate'n in a bottle of spicey Heinz...that temporarily crashed her career...

until she rose from the ashes like a phoenix fer the flamers and turned her basket of lemons into an internationally award winn'n docudramedy that's been seen around the world and though Kathy got magor shit for it from the left and the right and the center...over her 1st amendment right as an american citizen with a PICTURE...she stood by her choice and carried on

recently...i myself got a lil glimpse of what Kathy must've felt like that

fateful day...under completely different circumstances and a much smaller audience of course...though the sediment was exactly the same OVER A POSTED PIC...already deal'n with no job due to the COVID...then a 10 pm lockdown thanx to the asswipe looters & rioters (& not the peaceful protestors) in MINNEHOPELIS...i recently recieved a distress'n phone call from a family member inform'n me that my dad's brother...my godfather and my uncle Darryl had passed away suddenly

so i decided to pay him a simple "so long" via facebook...

after spend'n the day help’n to clean up the chaos in my uptown neighborhood i've called home fer the past 25+ years...along with donate'n a laundry basket full of body soaps and lotions to those affected by all the destruction

well...it would be but mere minutes later from post'n my heartfelt tribute

that you'da thought i was decked out in my best Patty Hearst ensemble w/match'n beret and held up a White Castle fer all their chicken rings...or worse yet...put my uncle's farm in financial distress durin' his twilight years...(oh wait...my mistake...that was SOMEONE else)

when a certain family member decided to take aim at my post with unwarrented non verbal ammo...

no names are needed to get my point across since they know exactly who they are and THEY POSTED IT ON FACEBOOK ANYWAYS...i am well versed in the use of family decorum over the years...and i'm sure my uncle is "up above" look'n down on me with a fickle finger at my abhorrent behavior!

only to be followed up minutes later by a birage of non verbal bullets on a

public forum by another family member (again...i have redacted the name of the petulant perpetrator to protect their trigger happy identity)

fill'n me full of their non verbal ammo none the less...leave'n me absolutely shocked and shunned...bein' gunned down on a public forum

and i'm sure the one "like" you got on yer post the follow'n day must'a made you feel like Richie Rich when you got the notification from FB...just like the person that gave you the thumbs up...reassure'n me of their disgust from my blasphemous post & putt'n me in my place! (i guess the other 68 "likes" i received from friends/fam was just utter shamelessness on their part)

even though my sibling had made a similar post...roughly 15 minutes later

without ANY reprocussions...from anyone!...hmmm...was it cuz i didn't form it into a cute whimsical poem?

BUTT of course...

this is no surprise to me since i've gone thru this not too long ago with yet

another family member in regards to my dearly departed godmother and aunt Ellen 3 years prior...that i talked to at a minimum of 3 days a week and visited a minimum of 2 days a week and cleaned her condo a minimum of 1 day week (ripp'n up the very generous checks she would give me each time when i returned home) fer roughly 2 years before she was shoved into a deplorable nurse'n home...

after another family member had pumped her full of drugs like a mexican piñata against her will fer 2 years...where i would talk to her 3 times a week...visit'n her at least 2 times a week and pick'n her up to drive her around fer whatever she wanted to do once a week fer the month until she could no longer bare live'n there anymore

fer all those inquire'n minds...i didn’t waste my time at maybe gett’n carpal tunnel with a follow up retort...though innerest'n that it would only take roughly a month after my dear aunts pass'n that said family member had the utter audacity to contact me again after berate'n and belittle'n me to "help out"

to which i simply replied...

and then i completely shut the door after that...only to be followed up by another family member a year later try'n to cohorse not 1 but 2 of my brothers to try and get me to back off meddle'n in a bogus bullshit lawsuit they filed against the very group home that they tossed her into in the first place

so pray tell me...oh exhalted all mighty one...what actually is my job?

i suppose it wasn't my job either to run back into the burn'n farm house that i grew up in...being the oldest one in the home at the age of 10 at the time since my dad had just passed away 12 months earlier...to let our german shepard Mickey escape outside thru the basement while try'n to rescue my 4 year old brother who was up on the 3rd floor that i unfortunately couldn't find due to the flames that had completely engolfed the upstairs bedrooms by the time i had made way back to the top of the steps as my other 5 siblings sat outside in a frozen car

or it wasn't my job either to confess to another family member years after the fact that i was molested at 13 by another much older male family member only to hear years later that "i probably liked it" since i'm a naturally born non heterosexual anyways

or it wasn't my job either to help pack up another dear family member's belongings and move them clear across the country...hundreds of miles away...to her new home with my brother and nephew (cuz i don't remember see'n you in the van that i can recall)

or it wasn't my job either to fulfill a wish to the same dear family member that specifically asked me a year prior to her pass'n to create her tribute video about her life that i would personally pay $120 to a friend to complete it so it would be exactly the way she would've wanted it...without ask'n 1 family member fer a dime

or it wasn't my job either to do the many charitable functions that i have donated my unintentionally internationally unknown perform'n illusionist of my own universe services to over the past 25 years...free of charge

i guess maybe it wasn't my job either to help the many numerous family or friends to either move or rearrange or paint their new residence or offer to babysit their kids...apparently i just did it outta pure ignorance i guess cuz i never needed to go to the ball after all!

who knew i needed an interview to pay tribute to a pass'n family member?

there will be those members in the "secret cuzin society" that will typically pick sides just cuz they can't "offend" other members of the club...in fear of gett'n kicked outta the club and uninvited to any future shenanigans...say'n that i'm act'n petty and have zero clue what i’m talk’n about...and that i'm just try'na be the center of attention yet again

no surprise there...though...if they sat and did the math...i don't need to be the center...i pretty much am the center when you line all the 1st cuz's up by age...but yer "verbal bullets" no longer have any affect on me!

and fer any extended family members offspings who choose to pick their parents side without hear'n the other side & then make'n up yer own mind...remember that's yer choice that YOU CHOSE on yer very own...you were not part of the problem in the 1st place...cuz FYI...i have ZERO problem stand'n on my very own...

i've been doin it ever since the 80's!

well...in close'n...let me tell you WHAT IS MY JOB and that is to this blog...

where i get to have MY OWN VOICE every monday now for the past 10 years...entertain'n the masses that are sitt'n on their asses...all around the world...and just like Kathy...i have ZERO fucks to give anymore...

so GET OFF MY DRESS!

the blame game

my very fav spooktacular series ever is AMERICAN HORROR STORIES

with ASYLUM...season 2...make'n my all time fav-o-rit top spot...who cannot luv Jessica Lange's mentally unstably disturbed lyp-sync'n performance of the "name game" with her fellow inmates...she could sink any cookie cutter dime store queen lyp-sync'n fer their last supper on that other show

though that was just 1 season of insanity where certain women were not

to be believed...it would take 36 years for the strength and bravery of Dr Christine Margaret Blasey Ford to be heard in a court of law...and wonder if she would be believed...with everything to loose and nothing to gain...but felt it was her civic duty to be heard and recount her attempted rape in the summer of 1982 by SCOTUS nominee and volcanic tempered crocodile teared kavanaugh...that...if approved and pushed thru by the repuglicunts after the FBI investigation...could have decades of detriment to women and let's be fair...marginal men...thru-out the country

luckily though...thanx in part to the last minute quick think'n pleas by Ana Maria Archila and Maria Gallagher who used their emotional defibrillator to start the dead heart of Senator Jeff who FINALLY didn't FLAKE out fer a change! (but we shall see)

rape or attempted rape include'n molestation...is a very personal and a  

very private situation for the victim alone...who feels completely alone...with statistically only 2% of rapes that are actually reported that turn out to be false accusations...statistics can only say so much fer those that are actually reported...and even when they are reported it is barely believed or mostly shrugged off as some sadistic "boys will be boys" attitude when it comes to school aged kids...cuz society favors the adults version of events over the child's...so why would a victim...especially a child...feel any sort of believability factor when the odds are already conditionally stacked against them?

there are films available where rape and molestation are sensationalized 

by hollyweird...that are packed full of an oscar nominated cast of characters...fer the general public to go on some sorta unbelievable emotional roller coaster fer a few hours...but make no mistake...it happens every day...and it does not end after a few hours fer those who've experienced it...nor do they expect to walk away with any sort of oscar nomination!

i mean...it went on fer years with a large portion of the catholick church...with pay offs and relocations...all the way up the chain to to the vatican

have you ever laid on yer stomach prop'n yer over sized melon head up

with yer hands...in yer smurf pajamas...watch'n the latest MTV videos in heavy rotation...late one nite in the summer of 1984...as yer family lay scattered thru-out the house like comatosed corpses...and all of a sudden...you hear a knock at the front door...

pissed that you have to unglue yer eyes from the 1st ever top 20 video countdown on MTV with Mark Goodman...to answer the damn door...you jump up to see who it is

only to find out it's an outta town relation...so you let them in and resume back to yer position and back to the much anticipated countdown in hopes yer fav-o-rit artist makes it to the top spot...until said relation starts annoy'n you as they try to make small talk...while use'n yer body as their own personal beanbag while give'n you a back massage

as their sausage like fingers turn you into a living lullaby dance'n across yer back side in a slow meticulous waltz...you try and muster the strength to keep at least one eye open to see who finally made it to the top of the countdown...but realize to resist is completely futile and you soon submit to the sensations...that is...until you feel the sooth'n sensations finally head'n too far south as they start knock knock knock'n at yer barn door and you immediately get up without say'n a word...

run up the steps and force yerself to count sheep while drift'n off to the soothin' sounds of the Ratt's "out of the cellar" cassette that you got as one of yer selections from sign'n up to yer aunt's Columbia House cassette club...where you could get 12 hot hits fer just a cool penny...with a chance to get 2 more free...once you've managed to mortgage yer teen aged life away and sell'n yer soul along with yer paper route save'ns to corporate america

the 1st time you muster up the strength to tell an authority figure outside of yer surround'n...yer immediately told that becuz of yer "inclinations"...that it wasn't anything to worry about cuz you probably just interpreted it all wrong (insert "boys will be boys" mentality here)...so you bury yerself back to yer bedroom...blare'n yer music and start build'n a fantasy world by turn'n yerself into some sorta kabuki klown fer years and years...unable to trust anyone around you...wonder'n why you even exist after bein' told over and over it wouldn't matter cuz yer not to be believed due to yer appearance

yer told by many teachers and preachers who tell you to learn to "fit in"...

even though they don't teach the others to "just get along"...so how do you when you have to deal with bullies and bitches on a daily basis?

luckily...eventually you find a flock that takes you in...and gives you a voice!

unless it happens to you personally...especially when yer just come'n into

 yerself and what yer taught grow'n up...you will never know how it affects yer life...yer work...yer relationships...yer interactions with others...sure you may find small pockets in life to block out the experience...by change'n names...change places...change'n appearances...but at the most unsuspect'n moments when yer left alone...yer left to deal with it on yer own

2 exams by professional doctors years later...once in my 20's & 30's...

turned into gynecological exams...without gloves...that i knew at that point i would never trust another doctor to ever exam me again...well...unless it was a role play situation happen'n
(hey humor helps me deal...so deal with it!)

they say that soup may be good fer the soul...but spill'n it ain't easy...

cuz sometimes it burns!

there is no time limit...even if time still marches on... moments never fade!

now get off my dress!