WASN'T MY JOB

to think it's been 3 years since the photograph that was seen around the

world by the mayor of ZERO fucks to give...just hold'n up a mask of our unfortunate mentally deranged IMPEACHED FOR LIFE sociopathetik lie'n corrupt bloated sack of pig shit with the cottage cheesed ass...marinate'n in a bottle of spicey Heinz...that temporarily crashed her career...

until she rose from the ashes like a phoenix fer the flamers and turned her basket of lemons into an internationally award winn'n docudramedy that's been seen around the world and though Kathy got magor shit for it from the left and the right and the center...over her 1st amendment right as an american citizen with a PICTURE...she stood by her choice and carried on

recently...i myself got a lil glimpse of what Kathy must've felt like that

fateful day...under completely different circumstances and a much smaller audience of course...though the sediment was exactly the same OVER A POSTED PIC...already deal'n with no job due to the COVID...then a 10 pm lockdown thanx to the asswipe looters & rioters (& not the peaceful protestors) in MINNEHOPELIS...i recently recieved a distress'n phone call from a family member inform'n me that my dad's brother...my godfather and my uncle Darryl had passed away suddenly

so i decided to pay him a simple "so long" via facebook...

after spend'n the day help’n to clean up the chaos in my uptown neighborhood i've called home fer the past 25+ years...along with donate'n a laundry basket full of body soaps and lotions to those affected by all the destruction

well...it would be but mere minutes later from post'n my heartfelt tribute

that you'da thought i was decked out in my best Patty Hearst ensemble w/match'n beret and held up a White Castle fer all their chicken rings...or worse yet...put my uncle's farm in financial distress durin' his twilight years...(oh wait...my mistake...that was SOMEONE else)

when a certain family member decided to take aim at my post with unwarrented non verbal ammo...

no names are needed to get my point across since they know exactly who they are and THEY POSTED IT ON FACEBOOK ANYWAYS...i am well versed in the use of family decorum over the years...and i'm sure my uncle is "up above" look'n down on me with a fickle finger at my abhorrent behavior!

only to be followed up minutes later by a birage of non verbal bullets on a

public forum by another family member (again...i have redacted the name of the petulant perpetrator to protect their trigger happy identity)

fill'n me full of their non verbal ammo none the less...leave'n me absolutely shocked and shunned...bein' gunned down on a public forum

and i'm sure the one "like" you got on yer post the follow'n day must'a made you feel like Richie Rich when you got the notification from FB...just like the person that gave you the thumbs up...reassure'n me of their disgust from my blasphemous post & putt'n me in my place! (i guess the other 68 "likes" i received from friends/fam was just utter shamelessness on their part)

even though my sibling had made a similar post...roughly 15 minutes later

without ANY reprocussions...from anyone!...hmmm...was it cuz i didn't form it into a cute whimsical poem?

BUTT of course...

this is no surprise to me since i've gone thru this not too long ago with yet

another family member in regards to my dearly departed godmother and aunt Ellen 3 years prior...that i talked to at a minimum of 3 days a week and visited a minimum of 2 days a week and cleaned her condo a minimum of 1 day week (ripp'n up the very generous checks she would give me each time when i returned home) fer roughly 2 years before she was shoved into a deplorable nurse'n home...

after another family member had pumped her full of drugs like a mexican piñata against her will fer 2 years...where i would talk to her 3 times a week...visit'n her at least 2 times a week and pick'n her up to drive her around fer whatever she wanted to do once a week fer the month until she could no longer bare live'n there anymore

fer all those inquire'n minds...i didn’t waste my time at maybe gett’n carpal tunnel with a follow up retort...though innerest'n that it would only take roughly a month after my dear aunts pass'n that said family member had the utter audacity to contact me again after berate'n and belittle'n me to "help out"

to which i simply replied...

and then i completely shut the door after that...only to be followed up by another family member a year later try'n to cohorse not 1 but 2 of my brothers to try and get me to back off meddle'n in a bogus bullshit lawsuit they filed against the very group home that they tossed her into in the first place

so pray tell me...oh exhalted all mighty one...what actually is my job?

i suppose it wasn't my job either to run back into the burn'n farm house that i grew up in...being the oldest one in the home at the age of 10 at the time since my dad had just passed away 12 months earlier...to let our german shepard Mickey escape outside thru the basement while try'n to rescue my 4 year old brother who was up on the 3rd floor that i unfortunately couldn't find due to the flames that had completely engolfed the upstairs bedrooms by the time i had made way back to the top of the steps as my other 5 siblings sat outside in a frozen car

or it wasn't my job either to confess to another family member years after the fact that i was molested at 13 by another much older male family member only to hear years later that "i probably liked it" since i'm a naturally born non heterosexual anyways

or it wasn't my job either to help pack up another dear family member's belongings and move them clear across the country...hundreds of miles away...to her new home with my brother and nephew (cuz i don't remember see'n you in the van that i can recall)

or it wasn't my job either to fulfill a wish to the same dear family member that specifically asked me a year prior to her pass'n to create her tribute video about her life that i would personally pay $120 to a friend to complete it so it would be exactly the way she would've wanted it...without ask'n 1 family member fer a dime

or it wasn't my job either to do the many charitable functions that i have donated my unintentionally internationally unknown perform'n illusionist of my own universe services to over the past 25 years...free of charge

i guess maybe it wasn't my job either to help the many numerous family or friends to either move or rearrange or paint their new residence or offer to babysit their kids...apparently i just did it outta pure ignorance i guess cuz i never needed to go to the ball after all!

who knew i needed an interview to pay tribute to a pass'n family member?

there will be those members in the "secret cuzin society" that will typically pick sides just cuz they can't "offend" other members of the club...in fear of gett'n kicked outta the club and uninvited to any future shenanigans...say'n that i'm act'n petty and have zero clue what i’m talk’n about...and that i'm just try'na be the center of attention yet again

no surprise there...though...if they sat and did the math...i don't need to be the center...i pretty much am the center when you line all the 1st cuz's up by age...but yer "verbal bullets" no longer have any affect on me!

and fer any extended family members offspings who choose to pick their parents side without hear'n the other side & then make'n up yer own mind...remember that's yer choice that YOU CHOSE on yer very own...you were not part of the problem in the 1st place...cuz FYI...i have ZERO problem stand'n on my very own...

i've been doin it ever since the 80's!

well...in close'n...let me tell you WHAT IS MY JOB and that is to this blog...

where i get to have MY OWN VOICE every monday now for the past 10 years...entertain'n the masses that are sitt'n on their asses...all around the world...and just like Kathy...i have ZERO fucks to give anymore...

so GET OFF MY DRESS!

gobble gobble gratitude

it's that time of the year again to help propagate the propaganda...

that we should give thanx to John Smith fer winn'n fair and square cheat'n at that game of "top or bottom" with Tonto and his peeps many many harvests ago...cuz we all know this is just the catalyst that helped propagate the propaganda from corporations...turn'n regularly insensitive assholes into aggressive zombies jacked up on LSD...

savagely hunt'n fer the latest and greatest piece of over priced electronical "must have" crap we can't live without fer 24 hrs...

all hand crafted...pennies on the dollar...by the skillful hands of Herminio and his classmates...

all packaged up in an unbelievable fantasy that comes 4 weeks later about some jolly burglar that'll come down yer chimney at least once a year...but that's...another story!

it made me reflect on what is it that i'm really thankful fer...

fer most of my life...i have mainly been influenced by female and female persuasions...and though immediate family should be apparently has to be recognized just to save face when it comes time to make sure yer part of the read'n of the will...there has been many more influences that have molded me to be who i am today 

one of my biggest influences of acceptance was when my grama Viola...who recognized i was bitten by the 80's gender bender bug when i was live'n with her in my late early teen years...and she tore down her brown polyester curtains in her live'n room to stitch me my very fer taste of the spotlight

of course...let me begin by recognize'n how eternally grateful & thankful that i am fer bein' thee unintentionally internationally unknown perform'n illusionist of my own universe that i am fer all of you kittens that have followed my ramblin's fer the past 9.5 years...cuz without you...well...i'd be just a whore in heels without wheels

my aunt and god mother Ellen who taught me to stand up fer myself and take no shit from anyone and that age is just a number when it comes to have'n fun also fer support'n me by attend'n most of my performances thru out the years

but goin waaay back where it all began...i could not and most likely would not...be who i am today if it wasn't fer the enormous generosity of the HALL family (especially the matriarch Laura) who took me in durin' the roughest patch in my life and guide'n me in the right direction in the late 80's...when i was but a lost kitten without a scratch'n post or a pot to piss in...litterally

to my very 1st employer that hired me at the tender and supple age of 15 who tought me the art of stalk'n...when she paid me $2 an hour to report on who came in and outta of her BF's fucktard's cabin that she helped build along lake boulevard in Winona in the 80's...even though i couldn't work more than an hour a nite...it taught me the valuable lesson to never like someone that much

of course i'm beyond grateful fer my very dear dear incredibly infectious friend Peetrinella fer encourage'n me to go under that pink gelled spotlight and push'n me to become the unintentionally internationally unknown performer of my own universe that i am today (and not just cuz she knows exactly what to get me every year fer the past 30 years on my b'day and xmas...*wink*wink*)

 and anyone that really really really knows me...knows that i am eternally thankful and WORSHIP the quicksand the QUEEN walks on (even if i was not the "chosen" au pair fer her brood brothel)

BUTT...we mus'nt ferget!

those that saved the world this year by fry'n up a HUGE BITCH SLAP 

to the establishment!

start'n with thee lovably redheaded & incredible wittiness all the way from 

the D-List...MISS KATHY GRIFFIN...who was mercilessly tortured verbally by deplorable sycophants and left in a financially funk fer roughly 2 years unable to find work in her own country cuz the current corrupt administration was try'na silence her 1st amendment right...by use'n the powers of the WH to bring her to her knees... 

over ketchup and a rubber mask!

thankfully though...she rose up like a phoenix from the feckless fake flames after collect'n her thoughts and slayed the mentally deranged lie'n corrupt sack of Cheeto dusted pig shit and his henchmen by give'n the sold out audiences around the globe the 1st hand accounts of what she had endured and to make sure it NEVER happens to ANYONE else and captured it all from her poignantly and personal accounts in thee sleeper smash hit of the year "A HELL OF A STORY"...if you haven't yet...put this on yer "MUST SEE" holiglazed view'n pleasure this season fer the entire family!

3 long and arduous years of back and forth banter of he said she said...

the 1st political high heeled powerhouse and astute speaker of the house NANCY PELOSI...finally stared down the barrel of a loaded "gun" put on our democracy and started the impeachment process against the mentally deranged lie'n corrupt sack of Cheeto dusted pig shit currently disgrace'n the oval office

oh to be a fly on the wall the day she fried up a bitch slap to the mentally deranged lie'n corrupt sack of Cheeto dusted pig shit and made him marinate in his shit shorts... 

with the holiglazed season upon us...NANCY assures the people that she's still bake'n her impeachment pie..and still has a few more hidden ingredients to add before the pie is baked

and lastly...but definitely not least...is this lil loud mouthed lassy from the  

shores of Sweden...GRETA THUNBERG became thee most globally famous teenage angst with a mission...bein' nominated fer a Noble Peace Prize...among the many other numerous awards she has accrued fer her fight against the environmental crisis at the tender age of her sweet 16th

it all stemmed from GRETA strike'n durin' her 9th grade school year in regards to the heat waves and fires that hadn't been seen in 262 years in her hometown of Stockholm and demand'n that the Swedish government reduce carbon emissions in accordance to the Paris Agreement 

GRETA spent 15 days at sea from the UK to the US in her 60 racing yacht equipped with solar panels and underwater turbines...eliminate'n her carbon footprint on the planet...cause'n "the GRETA effect" amongst her peers around the planet

so SPEAK UP and SPEAK OFTEN...and NEVER let yer voice be muffled!

and GET OFF MY DRESS!