gooie gushie gobs of el-love-o wrapped up in a 2 hr tour
make'n you feel like the luckiest loser in the universe...to be with the one yer stapled to (only fer financial reasons)...thanx in part to sappy...syrupy slideshows like these
beautiful beats of heart thump'n poetry...turn'n even the hardest cynic...
into the most love struck critic...thanx in part to these palpable pipes
well...i'm hear to tell ya kittens...it's all just a gigantic pile of steam'n crap!
"OFF WITH THEIR HEAD!"
though this may be the week for chocolate nibbleys...long stem roses...
and cheap knock off charms shoved in a powder blue box you stole from yer nana's empty box collection in her moth riddled closet...it ain't ALL flutter'n hearts fer everyone
love...much like THE republicunts & the religious freaks
who've turned a blind eye to those seek'n a better life at the border these past 2 years...is a complete waste of time!
so why not be a head of the game this year and save yer bejamins...
try'n to snag that "special someone"...and just settle fer somethin' special you can enjoy...like a bottle of yer fav-o-rit tekilla...torn apart tunage and terribly classic heart break'n flix to remind yerself...yer better off without them...
plus it's alot cheaper than kick'n back on some couch try'n to decipher where you went wrong
no one sung it better...than the queen of all heartaches LORETTA LYNN
with her #1 classic..."DON'T COME HOME A DRINK'N (WITH LOVE'N ON YOUR MIND)"
don't fret my lil oatmeal generation...though ya may not know any real
heartache...unless it comes in the form of a downloadable app...or passive agrssive emoji...i'm sure most of you broken bitches felt the slings and arrows of german's latest saccrinated poptress KIM PETRAS with her bubble gum break-up/obsessed stalker with "HEART TO BREAK"
millenials ain't yer cup of tea?...then why not try some tea and crumpets...
with this classic 80's blow torch song from EURYTHMICS..."YOU HURT ME (AND I HATE YOU)"
rock out yer hatred and disgust with that absofuckinlute fucktard...
in yer fanciest asymmetrical leotard and cool blue cat eyes to MISS BENATAR's anthem "LITTLE TOO LATE"
if these melodic melodies of madness ain't gett'n that thorn in yer side...
outta yer head...perhaps somethin' on the boob tube will do the trick...like the Mistress of the Dark once said "revenge is better than christmas"
does yer dearly departed got'cha down? nothin' says "i really love you"...
now that yer stale fuck is outta yer life fer good...especially when some fucktwat at yer insurance company accimentally adds a few extra 000's to yer late hubbies insurance policy check...and you decided to pamper yer pussata along with yer BFF in the Canary islands
though twisted and fucked in the head...pedophiles are people too...
they just got their sexual screws...screwed up...with this dark and twisted tale of internet intrigue and inescapable surgery...that won't cost you a penny...just yer...ummm....lemme see...how can i say this d-i-s-c-r-e-e-t-l-y?....PENIS!
if that don't do it fer ya...try popp'n in this retold 80's heart warmer...
"MY BLOODY VALENTINE"...in 3D..why not!
cross yer heart and hope they'll die...cuz it don't get any better than give'n it to em up close and personal in a gas mask
rehabers rejoice cuz there's even one fer the junkie lovers to understand...
starr'n the brilliant Gary Oldman as the ruined rocker Sid Vicious from the punk band "THE SEX PISTOLS" ...torn between his 2 lovers...his heroine...and his heroin...and Chloe Webb as the annoy'nly whiney narcotic push'n heroine Nancy Spungen...Courtney Love of "HOLE" fame...makes an appearance as Gretchen...one of their BIG APPLE junkie friends
so in the immortal words of one classy & sassy Florence Jean Castleberry
so there ya have it kittens...i welcome you to the broken hearts club...
table fer one...have a not so happy valentine's day this year...and puhleez...
get off my dress!
