politics can be such a drag

like the queen of country drag...Dolly Parton once said...

"if i wasn't born a girl...i'd be a drag queen for sure!"

from hair to heels...it takes alotta benjamins to go from...

a situation to a supermodel!

a shy boy to sensational presence

an intensely undeniably uterus-free understate'n over-biter to thee unintentionally internationally unknown perform'n illusionist of their own universe

well you get my point kittens...or we'll be here all day

drag can be a drag...but drag'n the drag outta ya...ain't no drag!

dont'cha think the world would be alot better off if everyone got in touch...

with their feminine side from time to time...especially when yer hold'n some high powered positions...fer instance...history might have turned out a helluvalot different if...

instead of  Hitler invade'n Poland in 1939...

he should'a invaded his mother's closet instead...

and became the beauty from Berlin...Miss Adalia Titler...imagine all the back-up dancers he could've used when he performed Marlene Dietrich's "la vie en rose"...it would'a been a gas...and ya know he'da killed the competition in the East German Drag Race try-outs

Saddam probably would've never lost his marbles...

if he'd only got lost in his imagination...and got in touch with his softer side by turn'n his back in Iraq to become...

 the middle eastern madness known as Miss Shabanna Hana...

perform'n that Kim Wilde classic "you keep me hang'n on"

Bin Laden wouldn'tve been such a bad ass in a beard...

hide'n his family...instead of hide'n his inhibitions...

by slapp'n on the war paint instead of goin to war...as the sleek sheikh from the Sahara...Miss Oidira Batoul...

she'dve been blow'n up the stage...instead of build'ns...with hits like Cher's
 "bang bang"

its bad enough we were stuck with BUSH fer a 2nd term...

but he wouldn't have looked like such a complete assasinator asinine worm if...

he'd raided Laura's closet...instead of countries...as
Miss Georgina Bushwhack...mistress of manipulations... 

she'da killed the competition like a mad dog with Beth Ditto's smash...
 "i wrote the book"

Putin wouldn't be such a pain in the A double snakes if ...

he'd just give up his hatred fer Crimea's independence...and become a pretty pansy crusade'n fer LGBTXYZ rights...as the Kremlin's gremlin...

Miss Vladdy Pootinmeon...she'll be invade'n yer hearts and yer homes real soon...with her command performance of  Cher's club hit...
 "you haven't seen the last of  me"

born with a silver dictatorship in his mouth...

wicked wench of  the North...Korea's Kim Jong Un...who could stand to loose the attitude...along with a few extra pounds...would seem alot happier in a Wera Vang original as...

the ancient chinese secretion..Miss Kimmy of the Jungle...belt'n it out to Dolly Parton's diddy...

 "false eyelashes"

but foreign dictators aren't the only ones that need to let down their guard...along with their hair!

even bein' a bullshitter leader for the Casper crusaders...

the Vatican's very own crypt keeper...the artist formerly known as Pope on a rope Benedict XVI...got tired of the sharade...and can finally parade as his altered highness...

the grand dame of notre dame...Miss Dixie Normous...sashay'n the nite away to Jackie Beat's sexually infused no holds barred hit...

 "baby got front"

even our very own hot to trot commander in chief...

Obama has a hard time with the republican't dick lickers in da house...fight'n for equality...his girls become'n ladies...and try'n to make the peace in the east...that sometimes...i bet he wishes he wouldn't be bothered with his billfold and just go undercover fer free beers on ladies nite with his girl Michelle...tear up the town as...

Miss Bootae Lishus...kick'n ass and collect'n the benjamins with her staple number...

"not myself tonite" by Christina Aguilera

so there ya have it kittens...if yer feel'n like a lion...just try on...

somethin' simple and sassy...with yer balls to the back walls...and be cuntageous!

now get off my dress!

huff'n and puff'n and blooow'n the HOUSE down

i think Dora Lee said it best when she said...

"look...i've been straight with you since the first day i got here [elected by the american people twice]...and i put up with all yer pinch'n [bitch'n] and stare'n [moan'n] and chase'n me around the desk[with yer filibusters] because i need [earned] this job....but this is the last straw! [with the government shutdown]...look i've got a gun out there in my purse [the american people] and up til now i've been forgive'n and forgett'n because of the way i was brought up [in the UNITED STATES]...but i tell you one thing [tea baggers]...if you ever say another word about me or make another indecent proposal 

[try'n to defund OBAMACARE/AFFORDABLE CARE ACT]...

i'm gonna get that gun of mine [the american people]...and i'm gonna change you from a rooster [republiCANT] to a hen [HILLARY] in one shot! don't think i can't do it [by 2016]

ever since OBAMA was E-L-E-C-T-E-D prezzie of the US...

he's checked off alot from his "TO DO" list...when the HOUSE and the SENATE was run by the people who gets things done...D-E-M-O-C-R-A-T-S back in 2009

well...leave it to the republiCANTS...WAIT!...let's be fair here...

it's just the moronic tourists of the republiCANT party...

known simply as the fucktards  TEA BAGGERS 

who just wanna HUFF and PUFF and bloooow the HOUSE down...while try'n on their halloween costumes

disregard'n ANYONE that it's REALLY gonna affect...even though they say it won't affect THAT many!

but after a lil investigate'n here at the offices of G.O.M.D...

i give you the top 10 tasteless non lipton TEA BAGS proudly responsible fer shut'n 'er down!

so besides the CONGRESS and the National Parks...

here's a list of other things that the republiCANTS are responsible fer shutt'n down...tear'n the country apart...affect'n EVERYONE live'n inside the U.S. borders...

check out the lovely part'n gifts yer state will be part'n with here

then we mustn't ferget the REAL tragedy of it all...

 that some poor...white...rich bitch...married to a piggy bank...like banjo pluck'n republiC*NT from North Carolina Renee Ellmers...who's also a paid RN mind you...d-e-s-p-e-r-a-e-t-l-y needs her $174k per year + bennies...cuz what?...their summer home won't winterize itself?...i'm surprised the cross around her neck doesn't burst into flames!
 

but she ain't the only anal wart need'n their benjamin's...

non middle class ass republiCANT Lee Terry of Nebraska has to keep his check as well...to keep a roof over his head...pay fer all his 1-800 tolls in the middle of the nite while the wife is drunk dial'n QVC  and support his free load'n off spring that can't pay his own way thru school...unfortunately like many other drunk party planners have to do

of course leave it to a handful of fucktards TEA BAGGERS...

to pass the blame and fan the flames in the opposite direction

and it's always a treat...to hear from MN's own batshit crazy clown...

to try and justify make'n sense of her non sense by talk'n over the host without actually have'n to answer the questions and toss'n in a big word or two that she used in her last scrabble game the nite before...Shelly...if ya don't know what they mean...don't use em...yer only embarass'n yerself!

and the whole REASON fer their TREASON....

they don't like what's on the NON RADICAL...NON CONSERVATIVE and let's be H-O-N-E-S-T...NON CAUCASIAN menu....PERIOD!!

play'n in theatrics around the country...JOHN BOEHNER is

thing is kittens...he actually has kittens scratch'n in the same shit box as him that could help end it all that aren't ask'n fer conditions...BUT...he's more worried about loose'n his rattle in the HOUSE

the majority of the kittens in this country...regardless of their party line...think it's fuck'n retarded that the republinCANTS are sett'n a mousetrap on their benjamins

and the man behind one of the biggest piggy banks in the country says that those certain republiCANTS pretty much got their finger on the trigger to let off a "nuclear bomb" in our own country...include'n  around the world if they keep on track where their headed

perhaps a history lesson needs to be learned here...

remember when YOU republiCANTS had the government shut down back in 1995...didn't turn out so good fer YOU come election time...did it?

leave it to the wonderful words of Stephen Colbert to break it down exactly how the rules of this game even work

it's pretty much a stupid wasteless game of rock em sock em robots...

and the republiCANTS will loose in the end come election time...
mark my word!

so lemme give ya some simple advice you should be able to figer out...

"Pat...i'd like to solve the crisis...ummm...i mean puzzled!"

though the makers at one company are lend'n a help'n "hand"...

to those furloughed workers durin' this crisis...so they don't have to at least!

BOEHNER...pull the straw out between yer ears...

 and quit try'na scratch yer brain on this no-brainer!

if not...YOU WILL LOSE

make this last and...

NOW BONER...TURN THE GOVERNMENT LIGHTS BACK ON...AND GET OFF MY DRESS!