CELEBRIAL BALLSY

much like meth to a flamer past his prime...wrapped in a rainbow glittered

balenciaga blouse from 1998...that they purchased from a bogo sale at some discount designer store in 2008...parade'n around any give'n dance floor on a late friday nite...in any give'n urban metropolitan non heterosexual establishment as some boisterous alcoholic evangilist...while shiny aluminum flakes would dance in unison to the beat of the colored lights rain'n from the ceil'n up above to the popper crusted floor down below...

as CHER's #1 remixed synthesized anthem from the same year the blouse was born (adorned with a fiber optic head dress of course) once again takes over the crowd and commands them to question themselves after sipp'n from the cocktail that their next door dick wrangler they just met in the boys room who conviently slipped a roofie into as it lay all alone on the roof of the urinal they were occupy'n...stare'n into their gin soaked eyes...melodically ask'n them with one satanically raised eyebrow "do you BELIEVE in life after love?" make'n them reminince about how they once were the cream of the crop in their tiny tube top only 10 years earlier...

BUTT of course...

are now just a shattered...sheltered...shitfaced mess try'n to impress anyone that will give them a mere moment of validation on any give'n social media platform durin' this COVID crisis

well...every year as we loose our grip on reality along with our utter mind...

there is ALWAYS gonna be that one meth riddled attention deficit disorder who still thinks everyone is absolfuckinglutely mezmorized by that shirtless pile of steriods in daisey dukes prance'n on top of the center square in the middle of the dance floor flapp'n his neon flags like a sexually starved butterfly amongst the sea of tweeked out STD's...well kittens...insert this years official A.D.D douche rag here

why oh why do i feel like i'm completely forced into write'n about this shit?

i know this is just a C-O-M-P-L-E-T-E distraction that WILL NEVER come

to fruition...only cuz of their abysmal rate'ns...much like their morals...have been tank'n like the titanic...i mean seriously? as if even thee most drug induced coma would warrant such legitimacy...seen as how he's pretty late at gett'n his name in the ring fer the runn'n anyways to validate himself as bein' completely serious

don’t even get me started on his “runn'n on the birthday party“ ticket...

the only birthday party i’m interested in vote’n for involves cake & some killer clowns stripp'n to that hokey pokey circus theme and make'n balloon animals...PERIOD!

and of course no campaign would be complete without a limited edition

fragrance that smells like vanilla bean...sandlewood and urine...sold exclusively at wal-mart and the dollar store or by click'n the link in their insta bio fer a $5 sample...why not!

it's a good thing to that KW received that PPP small biz loan to help bail 

out his "billion dollar" brand so he can finally begin production on their new ego riddled mega shithole in Wyoming as presumably the new WH shithole...should he make it to the finish line of course (insert laugh here)

PUHLEEZ...we all can recall how Miss Kankersoredashian desperately 

needed that 2 part "wedd'n" fiasco just to keep those brain dead couch potatoes from jump'n ship from her brand not too long ago...can't we?

do you really wanna waste even an attempt to comptemplate a vote fer 

someone who believes "slavery was a choice 400 years ago"

or someone that has ties to some over payed CASPER crusader that is competely anti LGBTXYZPDQ
(i'm sorry...i didn't miss anyone?)

i'll put down 100 to 1 odds that this is ALL just a publicity ploy to help out

his flail'n popularity that he hasn't experienced ever since he rapped on the QUEEN's dance floor hit "BEAT GOES ON" (w/ PHARRELL WILLIAMS) from 2008's smash album and tour fer "HARD CANDY" 

and to help out that mentally deranged IMPEACHED FOR LIFE sociopathetik lie'n corrupt orange anal warted sow by splitt'n the black vote from Biden...period!

that is it!
now GET OFF MY DRESS!

some like it hot

oh what a weekend it was...from fireworks...to some pieces of work...

the spirits were high and flow'n in every direction...and though the rhubarb crumble was a smash hit...apparently i never got the memo that crack was make'n a comeback...and some spirited sideshow mother fuckers were a smash crumble'n apart from bein a bit high on some illegal spirits...

move'n on!

when i think of flames...alot of things are conjured up in my mind...

the yester years at summer camp with my brothers and sister...

roast'n marshmallows over an open flame

durin' the holiglazed season...images of ol' Bing Crosby dance in my head

of him sing'n about roast'n chestnuts on an open flame

of course...who can forget this petrified comedic classic

the original non heterosexual glitter bomb'n flame

and when i think of holier than though...A double snake holes....

i think of this folically challenged anti anal creamer Father Gordon "chaps my ass" Klingenschmitt

i guess Gordon hasn't  finished his spotlight dance with the devil makers...

and his obsession to rid the world of designer labels...cake decorators...and tea bagg'n competitions

must i REALLY have to break down yer book of fairytales AGAIN Father?

maybe i'm miss'n somethin' here...but haven't we evolved a bit over rules and regulations over the past 2000 years to fit our current times?

fine...we can play by yer RULERS rules for arguments sakes...

but that means NO cherry pick'n...so in case ya missed a couple of pretty important rules...you yerself...are probably not pratice'n...i thought i'd give ya a lil refresher course...of course

Leviticus 25:44 states that i may possess slaves...both male and female...
provided they are purchased from neighbouring nations...a friend of mine claims that this applies to Mexicans...but not Canuks across the border...

can you clarify pleez...why can't i own Canadians?

Exodus 21:7  states it's ok to sell your daughter into slavery...

what do you think would be a fair market price for her in this day and age?

Leviticus 15:19-24 states that i can't have contact with a woman while she is in her period of menstrual uncleanliness...or i to shall be very uncleansed...

problem is...how am gonna know?...most just turn into a bitch if you make any assumptions

Leviticus 1:9 states that burn'n a bull on the altar as a sacrifice...creates a very pungently tastefully pleasing odor for the RULER's o factory senses

only prob is...my neighbors claim the odor is not please'n to them....shall i smite them?

Exodus 35:2  states clearly that they should be put to death fer work'n on the sabbath...so these next door neighbors kids insist on sell'n lemonade on hot summer afternoons...7 days a week...even after i read them this rule

am i morally obligated to kill them myself?...or should i ask the police to do it for me?

Leviticus 11:10 states though eat'n shellfish is a total abomination...it's a lesser abomination than bein' a flamer like my buddy says...i don't agree...

can you settle this tough one?...are there different levels to abomination?

Leviticus 21:20 states that i can't approach the altar of the RULER if i have a defect in my sight....i just started wear'n read'n glasses cuz of astigmatism

does my vision have to be 20/20...or is there some wiggle room here?

Leviticus 19:27 states it's totally forbidden that my male buddies get their hair trimmed anywhere on their nubile bodies...even around their temples

how should they die?

Leviticus 11:6-8  states touch'n the skin of a dead pig makes you unclean

can players still play football if they wear gloves?

Leviticus 19:19  states that those plant'n two different crops in the same field...are clearly violate'n the law...which my brother who owns a farm has done fer the past couple of years...and as does his wife by wearing garments made of two different kinds of thread with her cotton/poly blends

do i need go to the trouble gett'n the whole town together to stone em'?

couldn't we just burn them to death at a private family affair?

like we do with people who sleep with their in-laws...so says Leviticus  20:14

i know you have studied these passages religiously and therefore are considered an expertise in above mentioned matters...so i'm completely confident Gordon...that you can help sort out these sticky situations

if yer gonna live by the sword!...you must die by the sword!

or just die...a-w-a-y!

so there ya have it kittens...keep in mind...like i've said before...

i could really give a rat's ass what ya wanna believe in...you think a certain portion of the population will not be able to enter the kingdom of Casper?...that's fine...no worries...i'll be there serve'n cocktails til the cows come home i guess then...but seriously...if yer that concerned of my well bein'...practice what you preach...or get off my dress!