HUNTING SEASON

with mother nature change'n her fall shawl fer a winter wrap...it's that time

of the year once again fer every swamp assed carnivore enthusiast to bundle up in their bvd's...belch their greatest hits with their "buds" along with a 24 pack of bud-lite lime all while try'na bag themselves a buck a duck or some simple "accidentally inebriated" camouflaged fuck

BUTT let's get back there in a bit...

picture it kittens...the year was the hedonistically shoulder padded times 

of 1982 when the price to fill yer Renault Fuego Turbo full of gas at 91 cents a gallon is now equivalent to the cost of just one tasty turbo charged appletini today

K.I.T was the navigational system designed to replace that dreaded fold out map 40 years ago however today it has now been secretly replaced by it's much greener offspring SIRI

and the rectally regurgitated religiously righteous repuglicunts of '82 went from shoot'n posters to scare the shit outta their target audience by belitte'n and demean'n the LGBTQIA+ community (which was largely ignored by the jelly beaned prez of the period i might add) to now just an all out assault use'n the LGBTQIA+ community as their target audience fer hunt'n season hide'n behind their 2nd amendment rights by certain psychologically deranged individuals

thanx in part to the rectally regurgitated religiously righteous repuglicunts 

of 2022 file'n a stagger'n 238 anti gay bills in the first 3 months of 2022 alone...compared to just 41 bills in 2018

with the all to unfortunate tragic events of last week in Colorado Springs 

at the cities only non heterosexual danceteria...a diabetically deranged gunman who's attorney's says is "non binary" (which to me sounds like a plausible escape defense from bein charged also with a hate crime in my opinion) walked into the nite club with you guessed it A FUCK'N AR-15 style kill'n machine and a handgun who then decided to blow off some steam by end'n the holidaze for...

28 yr old transman and bartender of CLUB Q DANIEL DAVIS ASTON...40 yr old transwoman patron KELLY LOVING...35 yr old LGBTQIA+ ally and patron ASHLEY PAUGH...22 yr old LGBTQIA+ ally and patron RAYMOND GREENE VANCE and 38 yr old bartender of CLUB Q DERRICK RUMP  

when just 6 years earlier 49 patrons lost their holidaze in Orlando at the popular non heterosexual dance club

luckily...if it wasn't fer the quick think'n selfless bravery of army veteran

RICHARD FIERRO who leapt into combat mode...dismantled and subdued the dude before the trigger fuck had the chance to cause any more murders and chaos...

with the help of a trans woman (not a drag queen like some lazy reporters stated) take'n out her frustration by stomp'n the shit outta the shooter's skull with her louis vuitton's (which incidentally fell on the eve of TRANSGENDER REMEBRANCE DAY) things could'a gone the whole PULSE route

and like ANY mass shoot'n the media fixates more on the damn murderers

back story than the victims themselves in hopes to turn their journalism into some big screen adaptation and rub shoulders with hollyweird's elite fer all the free cold shrimp cocktail platters with all the other oscar accolades come award season

so of course like any good reporter i also did a lil snoop'n late one even'n

clutch'n my fav-o-rit Angela Lansbury pearls while sipp'n ever so slightly on a chilled glass of 1947 chateau cheval blanc as i scoured the informational highway relentlessly in hopes of find'n anything behind the back story that would cause this murderer’s rampage...and unfortunately...it wouldn't take long

after a little journalistic digg'n turns out as no surprise that this deranged

murderer comes from an unfortunate broken home...with his mother in and out of consciousness most of her life and the dad abandone'n him after birth who spent time swapp'n cigs fer Bubba in the state pen to become'n a suedo popular MME fighter to a smarmy str8 mormon porn star repuglicunt (though i'm not all that sure what the order follows that last job description and google was no fuck'n help i can tell you that) what's this performer's name you ask?

DICK DELAWARE (cuz...why not?) who was more concerned about the kid he abandoned bein' a cock sucker than a mentally deranged cold blooded murder

this entire unfortunate scenario has the complete make'ns of a twisted 

JOHN WATERS production!

with that said...how is it that these vomitously regurgitated meaningless

"thoughts and prayers" are ALL these far right repuglicunts can barely mutter time and time again when it comes to LGBTXYZPDQ rights and protections in incidents like these and many many others (especially towards the trans community) ask yerself...have you ever heard of ONE incident where a member of the LGBTXYZPDQ community goes into a straight bar armed like Arnold to clear their head and their hatred onto crowds of bud-lite guzzle'n swamp assed hunters or white clawed maxi padded cuntasaurus's just try'n to enjoy their nite away from the lil shits bleed'n em dry at home? 

OH...and ALL you NRA bullshitters can fuck'n stick yer 2nd amendment rights up yer dilapidated bud-lite swamped ass cuz ya don't need Rambo to turn yer rudolph into roast beef!

hate bills like "DON'T SAY GAY" in florida or drag queens read'n books

to young children at their local library WILL NOT indoctrinate them into sign'n up fer the Miss GRINDR contest nor will it turn them into throat plunge'n tulip sniffers or home depot card carry'n taco teasers...they just want someone to tell them "WHERE THE WILD THINGS ARE"

it's always the far right repuglicunts like Qwack'n bitter owl screech'n  

vaginal suppositories MTG and BLOFART who apparently lost a cactus up their cooter on pledge nite ever since their sorority days at Beta Kappa Kuntasores...turn'n a simple fun and imaginative story hour into some sexual deviant downfall of civilization by introduce'n bills to stop kids from enjoy'n a couture clown read'n to them since without sexualize'n the guest reader in a bouffant and a boa...they wouldn't have a pot to piss in or argument to stand on at all...cuz if story tell'n drag queens were the real issue here...

half the country would've been buy'n stocks in knee pads and vibrators to stuff in their kids stockin's in 1993 when MRS. DOUBTFIRE became the 2nd highest gross'n film of the year...P-E-R-I-O-D! and the LGBTXYZPDQ community only averages 5.6% of the population so you do the math kittens

which incidentally also took home golden globes fer best picture and best actor by 1994

it's sick deranged religious zealots like the bloated orange marmalades 

political blow-up doll and feminine crotch itch legal adviser Jenna Ellis who basturdize their religious beliefs to fit their hate filled agenda and wonder why millions are abandone'n that ancient CASPER crusade'n bullshit altogether! 

anyone who supports ANY politician who puts ANYONE'S RIGHTS as a

2nd class citizen remember this...you may not have take'n aim at someone from the LGBTXYZPDQ community physically...however...when you whine see'n them show affection in public...on tv...in the movies...gett'n married etc...yer part of the problem that built up this rancid rhetoric in our culture give'n credence to those murderous few take'n aim at the 5.6% of the population out there...YOU ARE the absolute ammo in their weapons durin' hunt'n season on the selected population by prolong'n the process all together...

so until you have to look over yer shoulder 24/7 wonder'n if this will be yer last day of not cause'n ANY harm to anyone but fer the simple fact of just exisit'n...do yer damn due diligence and VOTE these fanatical sexually depraved draconian anal warts out of office and out of yer life!

now GET OFF MY DRESS!

CELEBRIAL BALLSY

much like meth to a flamer past his prime...wrapped in a rainbow glittered

balenciaga blouse from 1998...that they purchased from a bogo sale at some discount designer store in 2008...parade'n around any give'n dance floor on a late friday nite...in any give'n urban metropolitan non heterosexual establishment as some boisterous alcoholic evangilist...while shiny aluminum flakes would dance in unison to the beat of the colored lights rain'n from the ceil'n up above to the popper crusted floor down below...

as CHER's #1 remixed synthesized anthem from the same year the blouse was born (adorned with a fiber optic head dress of course) once again takes over the crowd and commands them to question themselves after sipp'n from the cocktail that their next door dick wrangler they just met in the boys room who conviently slipped a roofie into as it lay all alone on the roof of the urinal they were occupy'n...stare'n into their gin soaked eyes...melodically ask'n them with one satanically raised eyebrow "do you BELIEVE in life after love?" make'n them reminince about how they once were the cream of the crop in their tiny tube top only 10 years earlier...

BUTT of course...

are now just a shattered...sheltered...shitfaced mess try'n to impress anyone that will give them a mere moment of validation on any give'n social media platform durin' this COVID crisis

well...every year as we loose our grip on reality along with our utter mind...

there is ALWAYS gonna be that one meth riddled attention deficit disorder who still thinks everyone is absolfuckinglutely mezmorized by that shirtless pile of steriods in daisey dukes prance'n on top of the center square in the middle of the dance floor flapp'n his neon flags like a sexually starved butterfly amongst the sea of tweeked out STD's...well kittens...insert this years official A.D.D douche rag here

why oh why do i feel like i'm completely forced into write'n about this shit?

i know this is just a C-O-M-P-L-E-T-E distraction that WILL NEVER come

to fruition...only cuz of their abysmal rate'ns...much like their morals...have been tank'n like the titanic...i mean seriously? as if even thee most drug induced coma would warrant such legitimacy...seen as how he's pretty late at gett'n his name in the ring fer the runn'n anyways to validate himself as bein' completely serious

don’t even get me started on his “runn'n on the birthday party“ ticket...

the only birthday party i’m interested in vote’n for involves cake & some killer clowns stripp'n to that hokey pokey circus theme and make'n balloon animals...PERIOD!

and of course no campaign would be complete without a limited edition

fragrance that smells like vanilla bean...sandlewood and urine...sold exclusively at wal-mart and the dollar store or by click'n the link in their insta bio fer a $5 sample...why not!

it's a good thing to that KW received that PPP small biz loan to help bail 

out his "billion dollar" brand so he can finally begin production on their new ego riddled mega shithole in Wyoming as presumably the new WH shithole...should he make it to the finish line of course (insert laugh here)

PUHLEEZ...we all can recall how Miss Kankersoredashian desperately 

needed that 2 part "wedd'n" fiasco just to keep those brain dead couch potatoes from jump'n ship from her brand not too long ago...can't we?

do you really wanna waste even an attempt to comptemplate a vote fer 

someone who believes "slavery was a choice 400 years ago"

or someone that has ties to some over payed CASPER crusader that is competely anti LGBTXYZPDQ
(i'm sorry...i didn't miss anyone?)

i'll put down 100 to 1 odds that this is ALL just a publicity ploy to help out

his flail'n popularity that he hasn't experienced ever since he rapped on the QUEEN's dance floor hit "BEAT GOES ON" (w/ PHARRELL WILLIAMS) from 2008's smash album and tour fer "HARD CANDY" 

and to help out that mentally deranged IMPEACHED FOR LIFE sociopathetik lie'n corrupt orange anal warted sow by splitt'n the black vote from Biden...period!

that is it!
now GET OFF MY DRESS!

all aboard the bandwagon

it's not like any one of us out there have never tried to gather sympathy

or awareness to whatever hot topic is burn'n like an STD outta hand...to shed some light on whatever the issue is that's unknown to most out there...

who can ferget that time back in '92...when the brilliantly outspoken...doc marten'd irish goddess SINEAD O'CONNOR had told the masses on their ass one even'n dur'in her SNL performance to "fight the REAL enemy!"..only to be crucified & have her spotlight snuffed out...fer speak'n out...by the brain dead masses who were completely oblivious of the unfortunate situation that had been covered up by the Cath-o-lickers fer years

only to have the same masses on their asses pull a 360 years later...condemm'n the church and everyone try'na cash in...without give'n credit...where credit was due!

of course then there was that time almost 10 years later in '07...

when everyone's fav-o-rit saccrinated auto-toned lyp-sync'er...was the pop princess of thee entire planet...who simply had had enough of marinate'n in spray tans and a head full of Sally's beauty supply hair extensions...and decided to jack up her image a bit

by totally hijack'n SINEAD's signature look as her own...to show the world that she was more than just some sauced up corporate sex on a stick...(cuz of dwindle'n cd sales)...the masses on their asses stood up and caressed her flailing career...and throngs of her die hard fans gathered together in unity by start'n a gofundme account to get her a new weave...and a 2nd chance to continue her world domination in the lyn-sync battlefield

now she's lyp-sync'n fer her life in Vegas nite after nite (and trust me...i mean no ill will...but let's be real)...you don't know if yer gett'n the real BRIT BRIT

or her secret service doppelganger Derrick Berry these days...they both sound the same!

so almost 10 years A-F-T-E-R the above tragedy...here we are once again

with another front page celeb trainwreck...starr'n EMPIRE hotness JUSSIE SMOLLETT...allegedly...(in his own words)...bein viciously attacked by a couple of hot homophobic maga wear'n hoodlums...make'n the entertainment circuit appearances plead'n fer boo-hoo justice...blow'n up social media...grasp'n fer as many sympathetically pathetic words of disdain and pleas of encouragement he can rack up...

only to learn days later...OOPS!...that the whole entire situation was orchestrated cuz he just wanted a bigger paycheck...allegedly

now...though i personally think he's a bit fuck'd in the skull to be goin down

this route just to get a bit more benjamins in his bank account...if said accusations come to be true (the juries still out)...only fer the simple fact that it doesn't really help the R-E-A-L victims of the LGBTXYZPDQ community and especially members of the african american LGBTXYZPDQ community...from ever bein' believed when they actually go thru a R-E-A-L situation like his...on a daily basis...without ANY sorta support from celebutards...purposely planted product endorsments and the general main stream media...amongst the many toilet trained chimps purchase'n tickets to whatever tragedy is all the crazy at the moment

BUTT

(and yes...you know there always is one ...dont'cha kitten?)

i DON'T think he should be crucified...and his career completely destroyed

 by the masses on their asses...simply cuz he told an "alternative fact"...when we have a mentally deranged lie'n sack of pig shit...disgrace'n the oval office...ON AN HOURLY BASIS...fer the past 2 years...without ANY sort of retribution!

these brain dead twatters...tweet'n out the basic lynch'n of JUSSIE

cuz he tried gett'n some attention...yet you can purchase front row tickets on stubhub to hear the cricket orchestra in concert at the front steps of the oval office...when it comes to some alt right mentally deranged pig shit psycho fan...who worked fer the coast guard...and planned a massive hit list of many DEMS and media personalities that had a beef with said mentally deranged pigshit in comand...and out of control!

or better yet...not untter'n their disdain with said mentally deranged pig shit try'n to waste MILLLIONS of billions of national emergency benjamins to build his lincoln logs along the southern boarder...instead of fix'n REAL emergencies like...oh i don't know...Flint and Puerto Rico...

or how about Parker Posey's career...i miss here!

get yer priorities straight...this is ALL feed'n in the REAL distraction...

from our mentally deranged lie'n sack of pig shit in command and out of control...a total division and distraction game...that the media has to take some blame for perpetuate'n...but the masses on their asses that are ready to jump on the latest of any bandwagon dribble...open yer mind and look behind the mask...and get off my dress!