i was read'n over the new rules and regulations that you passed in the elf senate recently...
"if unforeseeable economical circumstances are foreseen and are not forecasted from the previous year...up to and including stock market crashes or wall street clashes...big bank bail-outs and political contributions from unknown contributors to block certain religiously political agendas...
then the trustee...known as the speaker of the house...known as the delivery person to the world...may then make any and all contractual obligations herein null and void until said situations are deemed no longer a threat to the bottom line of profitability"
i mean...i'm sorry about all the reindeer layoffs...some of yer elves loose'n their lifesave'ns due to that ponzi investment...and those unfortunate incidents involve'n Coach Comet that put shame on yer institution
but i'm not play'n any of yer reindeer games here...you bowl full of jello shots...though i wish peace and good will to all those GOP assholes
the hungry can starve...the homely can suck it...and the rest can go to hell!
this is MY blog and MY demands...i mean..."suggestions"...that i would like fulfilled as much as possible...or you can forget about Red ever pull'n yer sleigh again...cuz he'll be push'n up daisies instead...kapeesh!
here's a lil pic to prove i mean business!
now listen up!...this year i would like to forgo the embarrassment of open'n yet another regretfully wasted homemade or unthought-out present to me
do i need to remind you...that i have been a very good internationally unknown performing illusionist this year…as you may or may not already know...and as a result…i have attached my top 10 list and would appreciate the follow’n gifts delivered to my doorstep no later than 7 am christmas morn’n…
the new KING OF QUEENS coffee table book of Boy George
Boy George given his US visa back for Culture Club’s 30th anniversary tour
season 5 of “Dexter” and season 3 of “True Blood”
the Kardashian kanker sore klan kompletely kicked to the kurb
Sandra Bernhard’s new cd “i love being me…don’t you?”
tickets to see her in the big apple on new year's eve...and unless you got room in yer sleigh...i'm gonna need a flight as well...but i won't push it!
Rick Santorum and Michelle Bachmann given a complimentally home lobotomy...it's like a home perm without all that messy odor and clean up
Linda Lavin to sing me any of her fav-o-rit tunes of all time…
backstage bartender on the new episodes of “ABSOLUTELY FABULOUS”
Madonna's calendar for 2012...i've bought every one since 1985
to be transformed into Joe Manganiello’s underwear fer a day
see...not only am i think'n mostly of myself this holidazzle season...but i am also think'n of how others would want me to see myself as well...
if you were me
don’t fuck this up fat ass!
kisses Kringle xoxo
oh ps...and if ya wouldn't mind pleez...get of my dress!