YES...i planned on bring'n along my incredibly edible not so little stock'n stuffer to that mountain in the tiny French village of Bugarach
wait'n to board the Starship Enterprise...
but turns out...the town's mayor...Jean-Pierre Delord...shut down the whole damn mountain...so of course that fucked up my whole end of the world party plans in the hay with my incredibly edible not so little stock'n stuffer...
last time i buy a Mayan calendar!
try'n to predict the last moment for the planet earth...
is equivalent of try'n to polish the brass on the Titanic...completely pointless and a waste of time!
history is splattered with apocalyptic panics...
where mental cases think they're the host of some mid morn'n game show
give'n away the contents of their entire piggy banks...or leave'n their sorry assed loved ones...and in some cases...even clock themselves out early...
while everyone else has to end up deal'n with the apocalyptic hangover the next day
so just fer you...some homoglazed cheer...since yer still here...
to tide you over until the next new year!
(sorry you non homo-unless yer drunk hetero's...i'm not an equal opportunity nutter...deal wit it!)
i had a top 10 list fer ya today...
but didn't wanna step on anyone's twinkle toes...and end up with a lawsuit or sump'n by year's end
so here's my top 11 fav-o-rit alcoholidazed tunes to turn you from...
“bah hum bug" to "bring me one more round"
"shot my baby for christmas" The Vaudvilles
"merry xxxmas" by Chunky Pam
"christmas duel" by Cyndi Lauper and The Hives
"christmas wrapping" by The Waitresses
"you ruined my xmas" by The Supreme Fabulettes
"god rest ye merry gentlemen" by Annie Lennox
"do they know it's christmas" by Band-Aid
"happy christmas (war is over)" by Boy George and Antony
"december song" by George Michael
"merry christmas baby" by TINA TURNER
"santa baby" by Madonna
there ya have it kittens...feel'n the...
ho ho HOld on a minute
they're with me!
ya might wanna rethink who yer gett'n yer advice from...just take it from a pro