from the Big Apple to the Minne-Apple...
from Cincinnati to Seattle...
just come'n up with weekly headlines was just half the battle
from a town they call Turkey...to the monks in Nepal
from the Maple Leaf lanes up north...to the southern vineyards of France
touch'n so many of my kittens...was just by mere chance
from the majestic British Monarch...to the bloody Irish Republic...
from far away New Zealand...to the Land Down Under...
who in the world knew that i'd become such a worldly wonder
from Russia with Love...to the Syrian nation
from the Amazon jungles...to the mountains of Peru
i'm so elated to have touched someone like you
from Juan Valdez...to the Chilean sights
from the Pinata parties...to the African horn
some of my far away fans have even done porn
from the sweats shops in India...to the sand dubnes of the Arabian Dessert
from the Pyramids of Egypt...to the Great Walls of China
my fans are my friends...well...sorta friends...kinda
but the biggest surprise of all you see
are my 2 biggest fans in Afghanistan...who take time to read me!
i've never had the pleasure...but read about you in the news
i hope my words have touched you somehow...and helped wash away yer blues
i wonder if yer hungry...or just part of the war
were you on duty?...or was i just a bore?
are you part of the Taliban?...or were you just on vacation?
but i guess either way...i'm happy to help in some way from yer war torn nation
and though the miles may tear us...from far...far apart
i want you to know...you mean the most to some of my heart
so 3 cheers to you...and all of the rest
it's time to bid auf wiedersehen...now get off my dress!