Monday, February 8, 2016

where do we go from here?

sometimes death becomes her...
and sometimes it does not!
much like most of my feel'ns to give a rat's ass about gett'n romantically involved with any sane non heterosexual in particular...we've buried alot of very important things these past couple months as a whole...

from the wonderful world of the silver screen...
we lost a terrific terrorist...a half-blooded wizard and a connive'n judge

to the musical song birds gone unexpectedly...to the flocks anyways...
from an unforgettable...to the rebel rebel...to the desperado

outside of all these familiar famous faces in the entertainment fields...
this new crop of kittens simply known as the instant oatmeal generation...who've never broken a sweat to get what they want...thanx to touch screens and downloadable apps...have lost sooo much more than just mortal stars...many many others things have fall'n off the face of the earth since they took over...

the main one bein' the art of verbal communicado...
our ancestors spent thousands of years design'n and perfect'n the verbage system into many many different flavors of communication...

but thanx to devices like the internet...call wait'n...text'n...

Helen Keller...

George Orwell's prophecy is turn'n the entire world into a huge pile of non verbal communicative paranoid mashed potatoes and take'n the brain work outta bein' human...fuck'n up millions of years of social intertaction

i think Weeza said it best when she said...
"i smiled at the son-of-a-bitch before i could help myself"
there was no misinterpretation to be had then at all...but technology has turned societies up and come'n majority into lobotomized bags of unfeel'n fucktards by turn'n this lost art into a communicational cluster fuck of alphabetically coded messages like LMAO...LOL...TTYL...WTF? that their ancestors are left to decode

but also join'n them in the graveyard is...
the VHS tape along with their plugged in pimp machine that used them til they were busted and broken...murdered by those who were too unkind to rewind...so very very young...i hope yer happy!

1-900-phone sex lines that once helped pave the careers of many...
stay at home mom's and just as many unattractive out-of-shape homo's who built their self esteem up...
 by cut-n-paste'n some tall dark built grecian piece of man flap as their own...under the pseudo name of  Dirk or Dusty...or Mr.Pus...have been replaced by...
but on the flip side...
self esteem sessions and prozac prescriptions have gone thru the roof

hot spots like B. Dalton and Borders bookstores...
that once housed the latest and greatest novels by Jackie Collins or Suzanne Somers...
 which also had their very own built in meat-n-greet conventions thru-out the midwest and beyond...are no longer with us...
thanx to amazon.com...and e-readers...now all those married suburbanites have been forced to find online love that is not to be spoken of at the dinner table and forced to travel half way across town in the middle of a cold rainy nite to some desert highway reststop to get any relief without repercussion

the hypnotize'n sounds of the constant click click click of  the cd cases...
 as you flipped thru row after row to find the latest or yer greatest musical act with KRYSTAL KLEER crystal clear quality...cover art and lyric sheets that taught you the correct pronunciations of the songs...so you didn't look like a total ass on karaoke nite...have been die'n a very slow miserable death...
thanx to these guys

what once gave us gen X'ers and those before us...
headaches after spend'n endless hours flipp'n thru the yellow pages (and i don't mean the ones that some wino wee'd on in an alleyway) try'n to decide which categories like pizza or porn were listed under...is no longer with us...
thanx to these bitches take'n the brain power outta the new kittens on the block

remember when the only way to pay yer mortgage or telephone/cable bills...
 or that babysitter off with hush money...so you could get off...just to swing yer hammer and show yer almighty power if they pissed you off by place'n a stop payment on their ass...or that elderly incontinent parent marinate'n in tea rose perfume who sent in a yearly donation of $2 to whatever charity of choice...think'n they was pay'n fer front row seats into the kingdom of Casper..
 have been all but replaced as a form of payment by these bastards or online bill pay

carpal tunnel was all the rage thru-out the ages...
thanx to all those hand written notes that once showed you cared enough to send yer deepest most inner thoughts by putt'n pen to paper and spend'n yer pocket change to purchase a stamp to prove you really cared...whether it was regard'n love...sympathy or a simple "how ya been?"...
have been totally replaced by free phony forwarded messages of hope or regret on FB by people who've post the pass'n of a loved one...only to try and figer out if the 1000 likes were because they're sad or glad fer yer lose

so in conclusion kittens...though i may be age'n myself by complain'n...
about "how it used to be in the good ol' days"...by capture'n those kodak moments to last ferever...or til his cheat'n ass breaks yer heart and you rip him outta yers ferever... there are some advantages to try'n on these generational gap jeans...especially photoshop...
now i can always look like a fierce photchopped dream...well...until they answer the door at least!

now get off my dress!

Monday, February 1, 2016

Whale'n & Palin

so it's that time of the year to finally get started on that challenge...
that you been shrugg'n off all month...that'll change yer life fer the long haul...and i ain't talk'n about build'n yer body into some mouth water temple fer pure artistically animal intentions
or try'na find the perfect pair of suspenders to keep yer plump A double snakes from scrape'n on the sidewalk

no...i'm talk'n about somethin' that's much more spectacular than...
the root'n toot'n west 

i sooo wish i was talk'n about another puppet and her master...but just like Wayland Flowers & Madam...these 2 baboons career i'm talk'n about will end up dead in the water by the time this whole political fiasco is over

i'm talk'n about an easily effective way of turn'n yer cranial contents into a bowl of mindless bobble headed mashed potato soup...
with this year's most hilarious comedy series of the season and winner of the coveted kankersoredashian award

yes kittens...just when you thought Miss P was nothin' but...


now everyone outta be treated and take'n seriously and fairly when yer...

so DUMP TRUCK decided to skip the debates in Iowa last week...

instead...he decided to do the next best thing that no one has ever done...
thankfully...the genius known as Steven Colbert...finally got an early 
xmas gift last week...when the DUMPSTER decided to remove himself from the diabolical clutches of one Miss Kelly @ Faux News...and to rationally and calmly do a one on one with the only masterdebater he can relate to...
(and quite frankly...the only one he cares about deeply)...the other nite to show the root'n-toot'n trumpeters canker sores of the country...just exactly where he stands on important issues that everyone is so so very desperately wait'n fer with halitosis and their holy bible color'n book...at the Drake University in Iowa while the other clowns were duke'n it out at THAT OTHER unimportant debate clown show that no one was watch'n

the BIG D will find out who exactly is still gonna be board'n his train tonite

well there ya have it kittens...now i know after all these hard hitt'n...
journalistic jives...you may think i've already made up my mind as to what party deserves the win the keys to the castle...
BUTT...(ooooh kaaaay!)

BIG HOUSE come this novem...

i hope most out there realize by now...this freeze dried fouled mouth fool...
is waaay beyond his expiration date at this point...
but this is 'murica...and everyone should have their due process...
i'm not here just to impress...
i also want ya to get off my dress!

Monday, January 25, 2016

one MOORE time

i was never much of a documentary fanatic viewer back in the day…
outside of thee spectacularly insightful insight into one of the most famous and agrueably thee most musically entertain'n women of the last 100 years in
"TRUTH or DARE"
 
political views and socialistic opinions gave me indigestion...
plus...i never had any reason or desire to cast my vote unless it was for best music video

of course that all changed in 2003…at my friend Peetrinella's Oscar party…
when we hadda pick the winner fer an unwarranted category in my opinion...well cuz "TRUTH OR DARE" wasn't nominated after all...instead a fairly unknown documentaryist...(and documented fan in M's follow-up documentary "I'M GOING TO TELL YOU A SECRET") well in my circles anyways...won for best documentary

Peetrinella told me i would love this movie as much as she did…
she had me under her spell...and immediately i was obsessed...(very few people have pin pointed my crave'ns like Peetrinella has) so i called in sick the next day and stopped by the local blockbuster store to rent the movie (i did the same when the 1st 3 seasons of the "SEX AND THE CITY" series came out on dvd again thanx to Peetrinella's recommendations)

it's been 7 years since this master mind...gave us a piece of his mind with

but Michael's brilliance will FINALLY be back this feb 12th...
with his highly anticipated...brilliantly brave masterpiece... 
"WHERE TO INVADE NEXT"
this time around Michael not only proves the illusion is just a chaotic confusion we've been fed fer years...but it's a "sprawl'n didactic polemic wittily disguised as a European travelogue" or at least that's what some writer fer the New York Times said

wonder'n what to get yer sweetheart this valentine's day?
fuck the chocolates that'll just end up give'n em that ever so popular cottage cheese ass over time or the shitty jewellery that they'll just trade in at the closest pawn shop fer the latest used iphone...instead...give em a history lesson you can both enjoy...by call'n in sick and have'n yerself a MICHEAL MOORE marathon by check'n out his other older jems like...




 "SICKO"


also check out his lil known tv series "THE AWFUL TRUTH"

before take'n yer husband/wife/fuckbud/secretary/out-a-towner/polianna pole puffer to see his latest eye opener 

there are those kittens who say that he twists the truth for his own agenda...
but hate to point out the fact…SO DO YOU!

Michael's rhetoric is refresh'n and his "spin" is complete slap stick on the
saccharinated speeches almost every polictical figure out there wants you to believe this political season...so they can have control...with just enough of his undeniable truth syrup that most don't wanna hear!

now get off my dress!