Monday, September 30, 2013

send in the clowns

every decade has brought a smile from ear to ear...to some non bastard or let's not ferget about the bastard children out there...snot riddled faces...
by simply slapp'n on 10 pounds of white donut powder...a Rudolph red molesterary smile...some sulfur smell'n brightly colored bucket of pubic hair...and a BIG RED NOSE!

the 50's brought us the ever loveable and very popular...

in the 60's...non and bastard children became addicted like crack addicts...
thanx to their lazy parents who couldn't be bothered to cook another good home cooked meal...by shove'n enough of Ronald McDonald down their throats...so daddy could shove his "macdonald" down mommies throat

by the 70's...the happy go lucky clown as we knew it needed a new angle...
and unfortunately this clown wasn't about putt'n a smile on a child's face so much...as he more or less was about wipe'n the smile off their face...
(hey i'm not promote'n his choice...just report'n it)

the 80's brought us klowns that found a more kourteous way to kill you...
with kustard kakes and kotton kandy spray...why not!!...in...

by the 90's...we wanted to get back to how they were meant to be...
but with a lil less happy go lucky and blood thirst...
and alot more booze...and bad attitudes

when it comes to clowns...you either really love them or really hate them...
there is no grey area when it comes to clowns...
well...unless you hop in yer delorean

with the new century already in progress...the clown is ready fer a full make-over once again...and thanx to the wonders of technology and YouTube...10 pounds of white donut power...a big red nose...a Rudolph red molesterary smile and that bucket of colorful pubic hair isn't needed...
let me introduce to you this cringe worthy clown of "christianity" and June Allison's "member of the not so many months left club" i'm afraid...
Pat Robertson...oops...i mean...
"CRAPPY...the counsel'n crypt keeper clown"

so CRAPPY has give'n some laughable advice thru-out his entire career...
like this beauty...where he gives advice to women with the husbands' with the wander'n eye...basically say'n...



i'm sorry CRAPPY...but it looks like it's time to cash in yer depends...
and start pick'n out yer plot!

but religous relics aren't the only ones with a funny bone outta place...

recently pasta became the centerfold fer what is consider OLD news by now
let me introduce to you...
"NOODLES...the pasta pinhead clown"

BARILLA's CEO Guido Barilla..oops...NOODLES...
(and lets be fair non heterosexuals and those who support us...this was HIS words...and NOT the rest of the the people who work under him...and help pay fer his outlandish lifestyles of the rich and pathetically annoy'n...so pleez don't throw stones...slurs...or pull a shiv on them after their shift...ok)
so NOODLES came out last week declare'n that his families pasta was made fer the traditional subservient wife beat'n and children scorned non homosexual families fer over 136 years...and throw'n a non heterosexual family into it's advertisements this late in the game...
 would be like take'n a classic like DePalma's masterpiece...
 "CARRIE"

and turn'n it into hollyweird's refried crap on toast fer the instant oatmeal generation
apparently...NOODLES had a change of heart when he realized ostrasize'n a group of kittens in this day and age...is pretty much total social suicide...
by promptly retracted his comments (a few days later)

so there ya have it kittens...a clown without make-up...
is just a baboon with a big mouth!

now get off my dress!

Monday, September 23, 2013

THIS IS WHAT I DO!

one of the most famous gender bender's in the 1980's...
was ME of course!
well...if ya asked my nana...before she started push'n up daisy's...
or talked to any of the torch wield'n non homosexual town folk...
or that ONE GUY on the football team who cut my lovely locks back in 1987 in high school...on a bet...
that i ended up take'n to court...on a bet...
and you bet'cha...
I VICTORIOUSLY kicked some major A DOUBLE SNAKES!...
cause'n chaos and scandal thru-out my unintentionally internationally unknown perform'n illusionist of my own universe...universe!
well...in a small cow town called Winona,MN anyways

but another...more U-N-I-V-E-R-S-A-L-L-Y well known gender bender...
that started his musical career as Lieutenant Lush in the british new wave band BOW WOW WOW in the early 1980's

once said "i prefer a cup of tea to sex"

who paved the way fer social acceptance of men in maybelline...
BOY GEORGE as lead singer of the brilliant band...
CULTURE CLUB

conquered the globe with world wide smash hits like...





among many other hits thru-out CULTURE CLUB's illustrious career...

the hits never stopped fer BOY...who's had a string of soft soulful hits...like





and a boat load of other mellow moments thru-out the last 2 centuries

BOY turned his tragedies...into total triumphs...with amaze'n hits like...





BOY has even thrown his political platforms into the ring...with hits like...

and


experiment'n with pseudonym hits under THE TWIN like...




and kept the monkeys tap dance'n on the dance floor with such hits like...



"RUN"


among many many M-A-N-Y others

well...it's been 18 yrs since BOY released a full album of original hits...
with his brilliantly penned non heterosexually infused album
"CHEAPNESS AND BEAUTY"

with hits like the IGGY POP rocked out remake of...

the bubble gum popped hootenanny homo down of....

and listen as the string section cuts thru yer soul with...

that is...UNTIL NOW!

BOY is back on track with a brand new look and brand new album...
from his own record label "VERY ME"...hitt'n the stores and the informational highway rest stops on October 28th...
and it can't get here soon enough!

with all new original hits and a richer sound to his unmistakable soulful voice
feature'n the new smash single..
"KING OF EVERYTHING"

pre order this brilliant cd now and download the new smash single TODAY!

fer those hardcore freeks that want somethin' a lil more personal...like me...
for a limited time only...get a personally hand crafted John Handcocked cd that you can pre-order here

BOY collaborated with a string of amaze'n guest musicians like....

plus...act now and you also can get his recent dance ditties like...


and 


 to help promote the new cd...BOY GEORGE is hitt'n the road again with...
"THIS IS WHAT I DO" tour 
in merry ol' England this November...click here fer tickets 

AND FINALLY...after years of excessive exile...
BOY GEORGE along with MARC VEDO...
will be tour'n selected Canadian and US cities as one of the most sought after DJ's in the world...

fer those fans lucky enough to be in or make it to London...
check out BOY GEORGE's first ever photo/graphic exhibition with Mark Wardel
Oct. 30th -Nov. 25th...with a special live pow wow dicuss'n their collaboration on Nov. 14th @ 6 pm in Liverpool @ St. George's Hall
(of course...why not!)...click here fer tickets 

and if that ain't enough of the BOY fer ya...

in the mood to give yer cataracted eyeballs a really good workout?...
may i suggest try'n one of these brilliantly penned wonderful words of wisdoms... TAKE IT LIKE  A MAN...KARMA COOKBOOK...STRAIGHT

there even is an x-c-lent lifetime movie of the week about BOY's rise to SUPER STARDOM

from "TIME"...to "TABOO"...to "THIS IS WHAT I DO"

BOY GEORGE IS BACK...doin what he does best!

if i left somethin' out kittens...just click here fer all yer BOY GEORGE'ness crave'ns

now get off my dress!