Monday, October 28, 2013


can ya feel it kittens...the brisk chill in the air
the fog it blankets the bones that are bare

it's close to midnite...and somethin' evil's lurk'n in the dark
under the see a sight that almost stops yer heart
( i "borrowed" without permission the last 2 verses...sue me!)

ghosts and goblins awake from their tomb
and do their best to seal yer doom

tis the season fer witch hunts
but this is the season to hunt these CUNTS!

1st to burn at the metaphorical stake is MN's very own republiCUNT...
and wickedest bat-shit crazy CUNT witch of the mid-west...
Michelle Bachmann

2nd CUNT burp on the metaphorical chopp'n block...
is radio host..and G*D fear'n CASPER crackhead and not so charm'n "christian" CUNT...Sandy Rios
who recently spoke at some mind controlled color'n book believers convention in Washington...'s a a clue...if there were mainly non heterosexual's in the military...we would have LESS wars and more white the homo's are gonna kill their cash flow and give up the chance to frolick around half naked with half the naked flavors of the world!

and #3 was some "unidentified" CUNT at some italian eatery in Kansas...
who may or may not have been of the non male persuasion...but in either case...take'n time to write out a message of good service on the bill...only to stiff the waiter cuz he likes a good "stiffy up the jaxie" every now and then...makes you a total CUNT in mine...the local communities and yer GODLESS eyes!

and last but certainly the least amount of CUNTAGE in her...
is tv's 90210 silver spoon...and act'n scab of such non heterosexual classics like
 "TRICK" and "HOUSE of YES"

and daddy's lil spoiled whiney CUNT...TORI SPELLING

SERIOUSLY?...CUNT PUHLEEEZ!...with books...choke'n the airwaves with another "reality" show on the way...a clothing line..and oh yea...that fact that YER FAMILY HAS MORE MONEY THAN G*D CASPER! don't get to whine about yer benjamin's a tip...either close yer damn legs or take it up the jaxie...that way you save Dean from have'n to visit the penile guillotine...and make up with yer mama and she'll give ya the key to the family piggy bank

so there ya have it kittens...the WITCHES OF me...their verbal tricks are nothing more than mere blood curdle'n treats..they come in all walks of life from personalities on radio or television...or just plain comic book read'n simpletons in the midwest...either way...

Monday, October 21, 2013


say kittens...i'm gonna be outta town on a very very VERY...
top secret covert mission fer the next couple of days...that may or may not affect most of you out there...all i can hint fer now is that...
if yer in the Minne-Apple area...
wait'n in complete a-n-t-i-c-i-p-a-t-i-o-n... 
fer the last installment of the "APRIL SHOWERS bring BITCH FLOWERS" least the last one involve'n me...
event at the Varsity theater in april 2014...
BOY will you be surprised!

so i can't be bothered to be yer personal love slave...
hand-out free relationship advice on how to "cover up" yer "under the covers" lover(s)...or quite frankly...give 2 shits what's happen'n in the world around me at the moment this week...cuz i'm relish'n in my "own" moment presently

i've searched the blog galaxy far and wide fer the perfect replacement...
so til i return...i have placed my stolen thoughts borrowed words of wisdom in this R2 unit...but i'm take'n FULL CREDIT fer add'n the snaps to keep you awake...which is really WHY you read my blog week after week
dont'cha kittens?
hope you enjoy much as i had steal'n it read'n without further ado...i do hope you get the message!

rereleased from the blog universe @

The moment that I learned of the twin girls in my belly,
I resolved not to send two hoes into the world. I'd teach them that self-expression is always more important than playing nice, and I'd warn them that waiting around for someone else to make their dreams come true is not only futile but downright scallywag.

So imagine my horror when my toddlers took to Disney princesses.
And it goes beyond merely watching the movies and buying the merchandise: My girls have lived as those characters for the past three years. They've all but forgotten how to count to 5, but they can curtsy, smile and gasp on cue. The standard name for each color has been replaced by the name of the princess with the corresponding branding: "Belle" for "yellow," "Tiana" for "green," "Cinderella" for "blue," "Sleeping Beauty" for "pink," etc. The feminist inside me wept -- until, eavesdropping on their usual princess gab, I overheard the following statement:

"My favorite princess is Ariel, and yours is Cinderella,
and Mommy's favorite princess is Sharon Needles."

Then and there, the door blew open. You see, Sharon Needles
is not just a princess but a queen, a strong, creative, groundbreaking, wickedly brilliant queen. I suddenly realized that there was more than one direction that I could push the princess mania, because my children could not distinguish between a Disney princess and a drag queen.

Indeed, the parallels between the two are downright uncanny.
Both wear grandiose costumes and perform signature songs. Big hair is an absolute staple across the board. Both have been known to make their shining debut at the local ball. And, like it or not, a midnight transformation is all but inevitable.

I couldn't help the pride swelling inside me at the thought of the possibilities, mainly because I despise Disney princesses. Regardless of the amount of money that I've pumped into their franchise, I feel that the psychology
behind the tiara is a mockery of the values that I swore to instill in my daughters. 
Meanwhile, shoving your balls into your pelvic cavity might not make you a real woman, but it doesn't preclude you from being a better role model than a Disney princess.

Let's start with the obvious discrimination in the princess community,
shall we?

While most of the princesses are still blonde-haired, blue-eyed white girls, Disney has conjured a half-assed attempt to include a few other cultures, 
so you have Mulan, Jasmine and Pocahontas breaking the Aryan glass ceiling, though you'd have a hard time finding them anywhere but in the back row. It only took Disney 86 years to drop its Jim Crow laws
 and allow Tiana, the black princess, an invitation to the ball. 
But discrimination in the drag community? I'm pretty sure that the only requirement is to have a penis duct-taped between your legs; other than that, anything goes.

Secondly, ever wonder how those princesses are getting their fancy gowns and blinged-out crowns? Of the 11 Disney princesses currently included
in the franchise, only one has ever had a job.
(Apparently Tiana was born with such a socioeconomic disadvantage that she had to work two jobs to even attempt to make her big princess dreams a reality. [See also: discrimination.] And after all that hard work, she still couldn't seem to get ahead until she locked down a prince whose family could buy her those dreams.) 
Drag queens, on the other hand, have a strong work ethic. Basically, if a queen isn't working her butt pads off, she isn't making tips. No one is going to pay to watch a man put on a sequined dress and sit in the middle of the dance floor.

Finally, in the world of drag, a sense of humor is as fundamental
as proper padding and the ability to "read." You won't find a money-making queen who doesn't camp it up with her audience. Laughter is what helps us persevere; it lifts us out of our struggles. 

Yet I can't recall one princess with the ability to laugh at her ridiculous

If you've lost your parents only to be enslaved in a rat-infested tower, your tone should be more sarcastic than Arrested Development meets Curb Your Enthusiasm. Instead, the princesses always awaken into a smiling song -- a clear red flag, in my opinion.
Stepmother had better check the cellar for a hidden artillery of crockpot explosives.

When it comes down to it, I respect drag queens. They are artists.
They are able to conceptualize an idea and transform themselves -- without the help of magic, I might add. They are risk takers. They are punk. But Disney princesses? They are a man-made franchise created to sell cheaply made shit to our daughters. They are a perpetuation of the stereotype of the weak, dumb woman who obediently waits for a man to come along and make her valuable. 
Between the two I'll always promote the big-wigged man crooning
"I'm Every Woman." Werq.

hope you enjoyed today's rip-off  inspirational message and consider the endless possibilities of empowerment fer yer own lil girl or fabulous boy ..
next time you pick out their gift or costume fer whatever occasion...instead of force'n them to choke on some corporate pigs ideals...that'll end up leave'n you emotionally bankrupt...i mean only own them legally til their let them become...

now get off my dress

Monday, October 14, 2013

you REALLY gonna eat THAT?

food is the essential catalyst that causes kittens...
to purrrrr and mee-ouch thru-out the day 

unless of course yer some high fashion runway model...

then all that is required is a pack of cigarettes...some tic tacs...a puke bucket and a good dental plan to survive!

some take the right amount of nutritious food...

not too much...not too little...but oh just sooo right!

some take the right amount of nutritious food...

along with anabolic gorilla juices they've purchased online across the border to build that "perfect" perception

while others take the right amount of nutritious food...

to build the perfect muumuu and have to have their kitchen chairs reinforced with lug nuts

snozberries might "taste" like snozberries...
but who in the H- E-double hockey stix ever heard of a damn snozberry?

which brings me to this bloated smug of evilness...

not to be confused with this guy busted look'n fer DIVINE at some intersection in hollyweird years ago       
today i'm talk'n about this HUGH GRANT below
if he wants to be PC with the BS that his company has been shove'n...
down yer throat fer years...he'd simply say...
" dear 93% chemicals...6% electricity...4% bullshit and 2% barely enough to call it edible"

that MAY be a bit harsh...but there's always some truth to a lie!

of course leave it to HUGH and his bastardly co-workers...

to candy coat their dastardly deeds to take over the world with their pollination splash'n their products with colorful characters and magic dust cropp'n to get you and yer lil kittens to enjoy turn'n yer stomach into a sewage dump!

to fully understand what i'ma talk'n about...let's back it up a bit shall we?

let's start by gett'n a better understand'n what is a G.M.O...commonly known to the lowest common denominator out there as Gimme Mouthwater'n Organ-failure...but to make it sellable to to the public in was give'n the life save'n "modification" crown otherwise known as...
Genetically Modified Organism 
and to not bore you with some high wire trapeze act of big words that mean absolutely nothing to you...GMO's are basically found in corn...cotton...canola.....soybeans...
alfalfa...dairy...which is pretty much...
 found one way or another in almost anything imaginable fer human consumption at yer local piggy wiggly
they are FRANKENSTEINESQUE organisms invented in a even some of our fury friends on all 4's...
and i ain't talk'n about the unshaven non heterosexuals or those tippy toe'rs married to the 2 lips on Scruff either
i'm talk'n about DOLLY...
and though it pains me to say this...
though i love the one with the voice of a morn'n blue bird...i'm not really sure genetically if there's a difference anymore

here's a list of  items from MONSANTO's cupboard...that's probably in yers

and with trick-or-treat'n season right around the corner...
yer basically fatten'n MONSANTO'S piggy bank....
while they fatten yer lil kittens fer a future of fatigue and other organ failure

but with the proper amount of x-ercise...
you may or may not be able to know the full effects that the GMO has had on you until yer kick'n in yer coffin

Monsanto's worst enemy is an educated consumer...

so the's up to you to make it up in the end...
quit try'na lick the damn wallpaper cuz some corporate pig tells you it tastes good...cuz it don't!

now get off my dress!