Monday, March 24, 2014

politics can be such a drag

like the queen of country drag...Dolly Parton once said...
"if i wasn't born a girl...i'd be a drag queen for sure!"

from hair to heels...it takes alotta benjamins to go from...
a situation to a supermodel!
a shy boy to sensational presence
an intensely undeniably uterus-free understate'n over-biter to thee unintentionally internationally unknown perform'n illusionist of their own universe

well you get my point kittens...or we'll be here all day

dont'cha think the world would be alot better off if everyone got in touch...
with their feminine side from time to time...especially when yer hold'n some high powered positions...fer instance...history might have turned out a helluvalot different if...

instead of  Hitler invade'n Poland in 1939...
he should'a invaded his mother's closet instead...
and became the beauty from Berlin...Miss Adalia Titler...imagine all the back-up dancers he could've used when he performed Marlene Dietrich's "la vie en rose"...it would'a been a gas...and ya know he'da killed the competition in the East German Drag Race try-outs

Saddam probably would've never lost his marbles...
if he'd only got lost in his imagination...and got in touch with his softer side by turn'n his back in Iraq to become...
 the middle eastern madness known as Miss Shabanna Hana...
perform'n that Kim Wilde classic "you keep me hang'n on"

Bin Laden wouldn'tve been such a bad ass in a beard...
hide'n his family...instead of hide'n his inhibitions...
by slapp'n on the war paint instead of goin to war...as the sleek sheikh from the Sahara...Miss Oidira Batoul...
she'dve been blow'n up the stage...instead of build'ns...with hits like Cher's
 "bang bang"

its bad enough we were stuck with BUSH fer a 2nd term...
but he wouldn't have looked like such a complete assasinator asinine worm if...
he'd raided Laura's closet...instead of countries...as
Miss Georgina Bushwhack...mistress of manipulations... 
she'da killed the competition like a mad dog with Beth Ditto's smash...
 "i wrote the book"

Putin wouldn't be such a pain in the A double snakes if ...
he'd just give up his hatred fer Crimea's independence...and become a pretty pansy crusade'n fer LGBTXYZ rights...as the Kremlin's gremlin...
Miss Vladdy Pootinmeon...she'll be invade'n yer hearts and yer homes real soon...with her command performance of  Cher's club hit...
 "you haven't seen the last of  me"

born with a silver dictatorship in his mouth...
wicked wench of  the North...Korea's Kim Jong Un...who could stand to loose the attitude...along with a few extra pounds...would seem alot happier in a Wera Vang original as...
the ancient chinese secretion..Miss Kimmy of the Jungle...belt'n it out to Dolly Parton's diddy...

but foreign dictators aren't the only ones that need to let down their guard...along with their hair!

even bein' a bullshitter leader for the Casper crusaders...
the Vatican's very own crypt keeper...the artist formerly known as Pope on a rope Benedict XVI...got tired of the sharade...and can finally parade as his altered highness...
the grand dame of notre dame...Miss Dixie Normous...sashay'n the nite away to Jackie Beat's sexually infused no holds barred hit...

even our very own hot to trot commander in chief...
Obama has a hard time with the republican't dick lickers in da house...fight'n for equality...his girls become'n ladies...and try'n to make the peace in the east...that sometimes...i bet he wishes he wouldn't be bothered with his billfold and just go undercover fer free beers on ladies nite with his girl Michelle...tear up the town as...
Miss Bootae Lishus...kick'n ass and collect'n the benjamins with her staple number...
"not myself tonite" by Christina Aguilera

so there ya have it kittens...if yer feel'n like a lion...just try on...
somethin' simple and sassy...with yer balls to the back walls...and be cuntageous!

now get off my dress!

1 comment:

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