narcoleptic antiseptic advice

ever since i became that regrettable drug bunny fer the government...

fer a boat load of benjamins back in the early middle 90's...i swear i have sold my soul and sleep deprivational patterns to Satan himself...with a minimum of 2 to 3 hours of sheep count'n on a nitely basis...til i'm usually awoken by some mongolian warlord try'na rip my heart out

well...this one particular insomniatic morn'n while camp'n out in bed

listen'n to the neighborhood hookers outside my bedroom window exchange'n STD recipes...i hopped on my cell to check what life threat'n pleas of "why can't it be ME?" by the throngs of desperado's that i may have missed thru-out my inconsistent R.E.M's...when i was summoned by an early morn'n urge to call Miss CLEO to get the winn'n lotto numbers and find out what color my aura would be fer the week...when all of a sudden i heard a ding from a potential stalker message'n me from a popular non denominational site of balls out blasphemy
(the follow'n is the actual unedited conversation kitten) 

of course i understood his desperate urges...though i've never experienced this amount of urgency before too be honest...i was in zero mood to pollinate anything this particularly peculiar morn'n...let alone someone on the corner of desperado avenue and hooker junction

all of a sudden...i felt the presentational ghost of DEAR ABIGAIL VAN BUREN possess'n my freshly shaven nubile body...so i followed it up with an appropriately inquisitive & perfectly polite response...

though i'm no fan of join'n in on the PC parade...in this case...i figered it should apply if he was gonna apply fer such a position 

it's true...i grew up with Marlin and the kingdom...up until the great scandal of 1982

 when they were busted fer bein' the 1st "reality" show to capture'n a bear in the florida swamps (that was later found to be shot in the ass with a dart gun and placed there by the crew)

i only suggested this movie cuz it's the 1st one to come to mind that early in the AM hours that would help him get a sense of the lay of the land and what to expect

I-N-O-C-U-L-A-T-I-O-N-S...woo hoo hoo!

i swear...JACKIE BEAT or SHERRY VINE...listen up!...here's the title to yer new song...make it happen!

if any of the throngs of my universal kittens are feel'n extra charitable this week...why not do yer part...skip that mocha frappe pepperminty cuppa corporate sludge or that rusted needle of temporary volcanic happiness and help a QUEEN and her community here

but there were still a couple more things that i needed to clear up fer my gentleman caller sexually depraved delusional drugster before i started count'n sheep once again...

well...cuz my milky white flesh ain't gonna fool anyone...though who am i kidd'n...i'd suck a dr pepper just fer the taste of it 

i would never parTake in a parTy...

unless it involved a cake and a clown...period!

now get off my dress!