get off my dress: salutations in ejaculations!

in this very unfortunate self imposed incarcerational season that we are

now somewhat forced to follow fer the impend'n future (no thanx in part to that mentally deranged sociopathetik tang powdered bloated anal wart in the white house) minus apparently of course...all those CASPER crusaders who think that this is the end of times and plan to hide out from the 4 horsemen of the apocalypse in some lobotomized institution of worship.,.patiently await'n instructions from their magical cloud superior who will protect them from all this evil

of course all of them will eventually succumb to 2 of thee most important

words found in the webster dictionary: NATURAL SELECTION

some beautiful music has even helped with the ease'n of the tensions...

since we're all probably gonna loose'n our pensions (hey...how Dr. Seuss of me) with the cool style'ns of hot to trot grrrranimal Chris Mann

emotions are take'n there toll on the masses that are sitt'n on their asses

why...i was even told by a long time stalker of mine recently...that no one reads my planetary blog anymore and that they personally will no longer be stroke'n my unused ego...just cuz i merely sent it to them fer somethin' to pass their time...while they were pass'n a sacrificial meatloaf to the porcelain god

JEZUS...MARY-KATE and ASHLEY SIMPSON on a flaky graham cracker

crust...kitten puhleez...after 6 weeks in solitary confinement...the ONLY stroke'n that i'm look'n for is between my meaty thighs...i am thee unintentionally internationally unknown perform'n illusionist of my own universe after all...i DO NOT follow others fer advice...I AM FOLLOWED fer mine!

not sure how things are taught now in ~~lobotomized class~~ catholic school...

but back in the day when i was but a pre-pubescent unintentionally internationally unknown perform'n illusionist of my own universe...forced to participate in those voodoo rituals durin' class with a room full of coma-toasted catholickers...very little was told about the tingle'n sensations that were race'n thru our milky fresh pre-pubic nubile bodies

my sex education classes consisted of 2 basic rules

#1 it's against CASPER's law and absolutely deplorable to involve yerself

in ritualistic monkey love with someone have'n the same nibbly parts

#2 it's against CASPER's law and the #1 cause fer blindness simply by

"play'n with yer Pee Wee Herman"

"yank'n yer Yoda" or...

"make'n yer pogo stick puke"

or the hundreds of other nicknames referred to as "wake'n yer nibbly's from their nap"...plus many unscientific studies have proven this was the

main cause for mental fucktardation in most future political closet cases

well...needless to say...i wasn't too damn happy to get this news...cuz the endless hours i spent above our garage...once fingers found flesh...after

rummage'n thru my cuz's garbage and meticulously remove'n the gerber servers from back issues of beaver hunt and leave'n me with the pile of tonsil ticklers as visual aids fer my numerous exploratory expeditions

i knew i was headed straight to the corner of Helen Keller Circle & Blindman’s Bluff

as my body began to change...so did the electricity surge'n thru my veins...and then one day it FINALLY happened...when i was have'n...

"my own private i-da-ho" moment...that the gates of Lucifer opened wide like the nuns spoke of...

and i gave myself my very first "pearl necklace"...which was very traumatize'n at the time...cuz i believed this was a punishment from CASPER thanx to those non fuck'n nuns...so i figered i had to rid my body of this obvious enjoyable evilness...sometimes at the rate of 10-15 times a day until i gave my one eyed willy serious rug burns and could no longer rub one out...

this of course would'a been alot less painful had i known about lather'n up in lubrication while perform'n self-fornication

it wasn't until i joined in on a weekly ritual with ~~the chain wang gang~~ a group friends "patty cake'n their baker's man" above another friend's

garage...that i learned heaven truly is a place on earth...or at the very least...in a buddies garage...they know who they are so i will forgo mention'n any names...besides...they really wouldn't fit into my E true hollyweird story anyways

though i am reproductively retarded...i now know as a full grown wanker spanker...this is completely normal and a natural act of release'n stress...
and there's absolutely nothing wrong with "toss'n yer salad" from time to

endless time when needed...though these days i just lay there like a dead hooker and let my informational highway speeders do that call of duty fer me...i mean i am an unintentionally internationally unknown perform'n illusionist of my own universe after all...just make sure at the very least...there's a bucket of crisco near by

recently...a friend told me...a while back...of how she'd been runn'n thru vats of hair conditioner like it was goin outta style...and with only birth'n 2

moochers...each of the opposite sex...there was only one simple pimple solution to her conditioner dilemma...without embarrass'n the guilty gusher...i suggested she simply purchase stock in the merried of lubrication's on the market these days and slip it under his pillow...no words will ever need to be exchanged...as this is NOT a topic typically discussed between mother and child...and MOST non homosexual fathers have penile denial when it comes to teach'n the topic of "spank'n the monkey" with their lil horny toad

of course there are those CASPER crusade'n parents out there who are vehemently apposed to the touch'n of any tingly parts with their children...

that they would have to chastise for...so is yer lil Gabriel try'n to "blow his horn"?

perhaps Bethany is become'n a blasphemous bad girl by "sinn'n underneath her linen"

well don't fret my insane brain dead color'n book correctors...thanx to the makers at Control Toys...yer prayers have been answered...save yer son's

soul by strapp'n him into this easily assembled cross...fashioned after Mary's unbiological mistake from a one nite stand with CASPER...with comfortably adjustable canvas straps to help yer child control his urge to purge himself of the evilness within...until he is old enough to walk ~~thru the pits of hell~~ down the aisle...with his annoy'n tax write off that comes in 2 confessional colors...baptismal blueberry and deliver me from evil red

deliver yer daughter's from those evil dances with the devil...by buckel'n her into this blasphemous free jacket...made from 100% pure salvational cotton...completely hand washable with just enough wiggle room fer yer child to stop and think before they touch their purgatory palace...comes in many fashionable designs...or download yer own pentecostal design to shun them from their friends

have kids that just can't seem to purge that undeniable desirable urge?