non denominational hyperbolic unattainable fantasy kittens...i believe artistic director GEOFFERY JELLINECK from the sadistically brilliant and twisted after school special series "STRANGERS WITH CANDY" said it best when he muttered "if wishes and buts were made of nuts...we'd all have a bowl of granola!"
we were taught at an early age thanx to the wonderfully fucked up world
from the cryogenically frozen mind of WALT DIZNEY that no matter how many obtrusive obstacles you may encounter in life...eventually it'll all turn out magically delightfully in the end...OH R-E-A-L-L-Y?
didn't work out so well fer SNOW WHITE after the cameras cut cuz she
ended up find'n solace in the only thing she could since her 7 roomies fired her ass after her Prince passed away but not before he squandered away all her profits from her debut flick on gamblin' and girls catch'n a scorch'n case of syphilis and didn't get it checked until he hit stage 4 when it was too late and she could no longer pay fer her fair share of the rent leave'n poor Snow White draped in a bottle of booze...where she would end up pass'n away in the forest a few short years later from cirrhosis of the liver with only a lil blue bird comfort'n her miserably pickled soul
of course Mrs. WHITE wasn't the only one in happily ever after land that
ended up in a terrifically terrible tragic tale...everyone thought CINDERELLA had it all...plucked from obscurity by another Prince who was hide'n a "secret lifestyle" when she walked in on her daddy after dinner with him in her glass slippers one even'n and eventually Cindy would develop a nasty nose candy habit just to cope with the embarrassment
and unfortunately no one's heard a peep outta ALICE ever since she
those old enough to remember...remember popp'n jiffy pop while they'd
wash it down with their fav-o-rit beverage of choice...
kick'n back on the over stuffed country scene plastered all over the davenport from Levitz furniture in their parents den...
and learned all about the joy of paint'n somethin' other than their prepubescent face by the mastermind of BOB ROSS!
born ROBERT NORMAN ROSS 1 day before all hallowed eves in 1942
an 18 year old ROSS began his career in the armed forces as a medical records technician in 1961 (that's really just a fancy title fer data entry dork) and can i get a hubba hubba...meeeeeouch! H-E-L-L-O...beep beep! before he discovered other joys of paint'n...oh let's get real kittens...who didn't piss their parents/maid off clean'n out weekly piles of crusty filled tube socks at that age i ask you?
work'n as a part-time AA enabler maker...ROSS discovered a german oil
painter BILL ALEXANDER on the tv series "THE MAGIC OF PAINTING" on the bar's mini magnavox one lazy afternoon at work who used the wet on wet technique (think lube on yer throbb'n tube) to create beautiful landscapes in around 30 minutes so the dapper and dash'n ROSS studied and perfected his technique eventually study'n with ALEXANDER until he branched out on his own...
create'n his very own signature style along with his signature ogilvie home fro on the hit PBS series "THE JOY OF PAINTING" filled full of happy lil clouds and o.d.'n on titanium white...crimson red and oodles of other colors under the rainbow that ran from jan of 1983 until may of 1994...until his untimely pass'n in july of 1995 due to his many many years of smoke'n
ever since ROSS's pass'n...his image has turned into pop culture history
from halloween costumes...to comedy show references to beyond vomitous market'n products from crock pots to chia pets and everything in between
BUTT...unfortunately
in his death...all the happy little clouds that ROSS once painted thru-out
his colorful career fer 21 years on television along with his name that he had hoped would be passed on to benefit his son Steve financially...turned into contentious clouds of betrayal and greed between ROSS and his biz partners
that has been brilliantly however bitterly documented in the Netflix documentary "BOB ROSS HAPPY LITTLE ACCIDENTS BETRAYAL AND GREED" which will make you think twice of ever purchase'n A-N-Y-T-H-I-N-G associated with his image PERIOD!
so give it a watch...if you ain't got Netflix then call yer coke dealer or catholic advisor and watch it with them and GET OFF MY DRESS!
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