Monday, January 3, 2022

WHITE NOISE

picture it kittens....it's 1985 and a grown ass twink in a sharp grey suit 
topped off with a cherry red bow tie choke'n his windpipe was on a mission from hell to track down his stolen 1940's cherry red schwinn which was break'n the bank at the box office and justify'n overgrown twinks place in society…
a brassy red headed up and come'n go getter was covered up and covered in sweat like a banshee from Belize gett'n "into the groove" perform'n fer the largest musical charity event ever fer famine relief in Africa at LIVE AID in Philadelphia…
fill'n yer trans-am only costs $1.09 a gallon on average…
and i was live’n at my grama's castle glued to her new thursday nite ritual on NBC with a bowl of Orville Redenbacher lightly salted
based around 4 jovial geritol junkies that would move in together durin' their "DEPENDS"able years in Miami
the character i resonated with the most was ROSE NYLUND...the high spirited bubble headed space cadet with her razor sharp zingers who had a flare fer ganukaflugen and nonsensical ramblin' stories of her days in St Olaf MN played by the hysterically charm'n senior sensation BETTY WHITE

however BETTY would make her big break in showbiz as the perky pesky
happy homemaker that gave advice on everything from dinner parties to dress make'n 12 years earlier in 1973 on the hit Minneapolis comedy “THE MARY TYLER MOORE SHOW” with her good friend MARY TYLER MOORE...

in 1983 BETTY starred in the off beat family dramedy "MAMA'S FAMILY
which was a spin-off series based on the skit from "THE CAROL BURNETT SHOW" starr'n VICKI LAWRENCE as MAMA
and BETTY as the pretentious self centered eldest of MAMA's 3 children ELLEN HARPER

born january 17th 1922 in Oaks Park Il...BETTY MARION WHITE was an 
only child born fer the biz of show...start'n out as a guest spot on a radio program at the age of 8 in 1930 called "EMPIRE BUILDERS" until she was give'n her own radio show simply called "THE BETTY WHITE SHOW" in the late 1940's…who was a trailblazer before the civil rights movement by refuse’n to remove a black dancer from her show in a very segregated country at the time

when BETTY wasn't speak'n on a hit radio show or starr'n on a hit tv show
you could catch BETTY use'n her noggin and throw'n out her witty banter on the tv game show circuit from "PASSWORD" in 1961 hosted by her 3rd and final love of her life ALLEN LUNDEN 
"THE MATCH GAME" thru-out the 70's
and "PASSWORD PLUS" in the 80's among many other countless appearances on may other game shows thru out her illustrious career
BUTT...that ain't all!

when BETTY wasn't make'n hit tv comedies or apprear'n on game shows
she worked tirelessly devote'n many 1,000 of numerous charitable hours to animal and LGBTXYZPDQ+ rights thru-out the span of her career

just when you were ready to wonder what ever happed to BETTY WHITE?
BETTY would reappear in yet another hit comedy at the tender age of 88 on the smash hit series "HOT IN CLEVELAND" which was the 1st original series on the TVLAND network and the highest rated series in the history of the channel...
starr'n as the polish caretake'n wise-crack'n judgmental judy ELKA OSTROVSKY in her many colorful velour track suits that ran fer 6 glorious seasons

a year later BETTY would even dip her toes in the music video world 
saturated along side a slue of steroids by starr'n as the grandest of rappers with Luciana in their steamy 2011 tittilate'n duet "I'M STILL HOT"
after tackle'n her first superbowl commercial fer snickers candy in 2010

with an online petition on BETTY's behalf plead'n with Lorne Michaels
to let BETTY host the long runn'n saturday late nite comedy sketch show…at 88 years young it finally came into fruition in 2010 thanx in part to over 500,000 die hard fans when BETTY became the oldest actress to host the show in it's entire history draw'n over 12 million viewers and earn'n herself an emmy to boot

even before all the glitz and glamour and her philanthropic endeavors 
BETTY volunteered her time fer the AWVS durin’ WW II at 20 years old

showered with many well deserved awards over her entire act'n career
BETTY was the oldest live'n entertainer in the biz with an impressive career spann'n 80+ years

only a few weeks shy of her 100th bday BETTY passed away peacefully
in her home and just like that...true hollwood is completely dead! there's already a planned documentary regard'n BETTY's enormous contribution to the entertainment world which will be released to a limited run of theaters commemorate'n her 100th bday...
there is no other actor and activist that has left behind such a lasting impression like the likes of BETTY WHITE…hands down we have lost a true national treasure and i fer one will remember the infectious joy she's left on me as i fall asleep to the GOLDEN GIRLS on youtube nite after nite...
you’ve slayed the completion in the male dominated biz of show and you will be sorely missed nonetheless yer generosity...humor and legacy in this world has enriched the lives of many and will live on fer generations to come so thank you for being a friend BETTY!
now GET OFF MY DRESS!

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