in exact order from left to right (include'n the bonus ball) and yer biggest...most frivolous purchase was to the keys that belonged inside Marty McFly's fancy schmancy plutonium fueled wheels...whisk'n yerself away in but a mere blink of an eye to some exotic...erotic mini vaca to escape all the trials and tribulations...
from all the current tirades and tantrums that's bein served up by these 19 insurrectional anal drippage contestants at the Miss Corrupt Constitutionalists 2023 competition plus the current covid creep'n back up that'll be consume'n yer christmas treason this season i guess
BUTT enough of that!
would you choose the post modern prehistorical era of the FLINSTONES
just to be the belle of the ball to show off that beautiful new pearl necklace that you got as a down payment fer all yer future affection from yer bestie...after he gave you that pent up pearl necklace along with some crotch crickets from the nite before?
perhaps a cozy nite kick'n up yer heels with Knights of the Round Table
is more to yer speed...where you could swap yer cattle fer a couple of cocktails at the local Hurry Back Inn
if i hadda pick an era honestly though...i'd really wanna go back to the jolly
jubilant days of the 1950's...just to be best friends with Miss Kitty's beauty mark...to be her "private secretary" in the back room at her saloon and to find out if that really was a gun in Marshall Dillon's pocket or if he was just happy to see me
where tv intoxication was just as commonly accepted as a priest on a playground!
of course though...if you really wanted to experience the full effect of the
1950's and how it affected the people of the golden era of capitalism...all you'd have to do is pop into any of the local beauty parlors or soda shops and talk amongst the common folk to find out about all the real trials and tribulations that they had to endure...
the follow'n comments are actual conversations from concerned citizens and studious shoppers that i've personally tracked down from nearly 70 years ago...
Mary Beth Brown told Veronica VanWinkle as she was gett'n a snatched
back bitch'n bouffant "oh Veron...i'm afraid to send my kids to the movies any more...ever since they let Clark Gable get by with say'n "DAMN" in "GONE WITH THE WIND" it seems every new movie has either "DAMN" or "HELL" in it" Veronica snapped back "well MaryBeth...did you hear the post office is thinking about charging a dime just to mail a letter? and i can't get over how i can't afford to be sick anymore...$35 a day in the hospital is too rich for my blood"
(anyone order a back alley abortion?...that's all i'm say'n)
down the street at FERRY's barber shop...you can here Abel tell'n his
fav-o-rit "bowl'n buddie" Arnie "can you believe it Arnie...when i first started driving...who would have thought that someday gas would cost 29 cents a gallon...guess we'd be better off leaving the car in the garage...and i tell you something else...if cigarettes keep going up in price...i'm going to quit...a quarter a pack is ridiculous"
(so much fer bump'n shoulders with the elite while you eat and sipp'n on those low balls while he grabs yers at yer fav-o-rit nite spot)
across town...Marcella Tingle tells the friendly bagger at the Piggly Wiggly
that she's been want'n to personally bag herself...as little Suzie stares aimlessly into his oddly shaped padded ass "i tell you one thing Archie...if prices keep going the way they are...it's going to be impossible to buy a weeks worth of groceries for $20 anymore”
(FUCK...there goes yer elegantly coutured wardrobe stash cash you been swipe'n from his weekly paychecks ladies)
think'n of gett'n away with the family fer the weekend after a rough week
at the office? well...why not take a lil advice from Vernon and Connie Miller first as Connie confesses "there's no sense going to Lincoln or Omaha anymore for a weekend...it costs nearly $15 for a hotel" as Vernon adds his 2 cents worth "thank goodness i won't live to see the day that the government will take half our income in taxes...i sometimes wonder if we are electing the best people to congress"
(make sure he filled out the premium life insurance before you take that off the road...road trip)
just take'n a leisurely walk down main street...i overheard the Erpelding
brothers...Ernie and Arnold...shoot'n the shit with ol' Bernie Wattembach...who was discuss'n the cost of hire'n help at his biz "geez...if they raise the minimum wage to $1...no one will be able to hire outside help at the store" then Ernie jumped in spill'n about somethin' absolutely insane "i read the other day where some scientist thinks it's possible to put a man on the moon by the end of the century...they even have some feller's they call astronauts preparing for it down in Texas" as Arnold chimed in "if they think i'll pay 50 cents for a haircut...forget it!"
(might as well kiss all those Betty Page private show'ns goodbye)
there ya have it kittens....unfortunately times were just as hard 70's years
ago as they are today...well...minus the pandemic part 2 headed our way apparently and the mentally deranged IMPEACHED FOR LIFE twice and 4 times INDICTED (so far) corrupt lie'n cheat'n deranged sociopathetik orange dusted anal warted sack of shit stained venereal pustule pissbubble...
soon to be paint by number 'n yer license plates! (hopefully)
we all will eventually age like a wretched wine regardless of what decade
we attach ourselves to...who knows what the future generations will uncover about what we were bitch'n about these days...so buckle up and get with the program or just GET OFF MY DRESS!
OH WAIT...before you get back to yer obviously miserable mundane life
i mean some of you have been read'n about my deliriously delightful yet inappropriately delusional thoughts week after week fer the past 13 years now (you only have yerself to blame fer that after all so don't try pinn'n it on me kitten) well it's my 53rd bday this week (YES I SAID IT) so i'm cash'n in all my favor chips...instead of send'n me canned goods or free STD coupons in the mail this year...why don'tcha entertain a more mature yet absofuckinglutely fantabuless crow (like myself) by click'n and vote'n fer me in this silly lil online contest here that i came across (since no one's come across me in months!)
just so's i can gets me a free horror shootie toot toot by some DAVID LACHAPELLEish pamida worthy happy snapper and $13g's to stick in my gofuckyerself refund fund! DON'T ASK...JUST DO IT!
vote'n starts sept 5th...whore me out if you must to ALL yer family and friends...parishners and prisoners...grannies and trannies...clergy and congressmen/women if you feel inclined to do so...of course we mustn't ferget about all those "special" GOP'er's and STD'er's in yer life as well (consider this yer most charitable act of the century) now you may GET OFF MY DRESS!
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