a read'n from the book of BULLSHIT

sorry fer fill'n you with foul language...but then again so is today's guest!

one of my all time fav-o-rit skits from the yester years of SNL (when it was actually funny)...was church chat with Dana Carvey...so today is an episode i thunked up fer the church lady in case she ever decides to come back and needs some fresh new material...so without further ado...

welcome to today's special episode of...

my first guess...M-U-R-O-T-N-A-S...pronouced more~rotten~as...in tongue

or half-assed backwards...since he's ideo-illogically live'n in a time when rock concerts actually consisted of a bunch of cave dwellers bang'n a bunch of stones together.

unfortunately...Mr. Smarty Britches was unable to sit with us today cuz a lil birdie told me that he's out on the campaign trail look'n to run this lil country of ours into the ground...come november huh!

well...isn't that special!

we like ourselves...don't we?...we just like to talk...talk...talk...but nothing seems to make any sense...does it...when it comes out...if he were here...i'd like to ask him a simple question though...more rotten as?...as what?

what could it possibly be?

what's got this guy stick'n his nose into everyone's nibbley parts...hmmm?

why is our lil Ricky's britches in a bunch over everyone's rights and beliefs?

is it cuz they never released the highway to heaven series on blue ray yet?

no...i don't think that's his issue with his "Maker's" many fallen angels

gee...i wonder who it could possibly be...hmmm...could it be cuz he's...

S-A-T-A-N!

in a political kamikazee bible beat'n disguise?

the world according to this frothy fecal matter is that of a religious freakfest who believes the country should be governed according to his and only his...religious beliefs...without take'n into consideration that a president is voted in office by voters from ALL denominations

i'm sooo lost...is this anal wart runn'n for President of the United States

or pompus Pastor of the United States...with blinders on?

he sorta sounds like he's preach'n the same views as one of these guys

with his daily messianic manifesto on science...education...birth control
and religion...maybe he'd be better suited runn'n on some Islamic fundamanta­list ticket...i'm just say'n

this nut job's attacks...in the name of our dear lord savior...wants to rewrite science and history books to advance the evangelica­l ajenda...which has been paid for by the not-so-fun fundamentallyretarded religious crusaders

tell me what's the diff between his position and Sharia law?...isn't this the reason that we have a separation of church and state as one of the foundation­s of our government­?

and his stance regard'n non heterosexualism...and their rights as humans and not as second class citizens...reads like a poo-poo plattered of bible bigotry smothered in satanic sauce

perhaps MUROTNAS should be more concerned about the years of heinous sexual abuse of children by priests and the routine cover up by the church hierachy as ANOTHER priest sex scandal is underway in his home state of Pennsylvan­ia...instead of what consent'n non heterosexuals do with spermicidal lubrications and a slip n slide in the privacy of their own apt

oddly enough he believes that our President is a christian...but that the President's policies are not "based on the bible"

really?...do we REALLY want the leader of our nation to refer to passages from some fairy tale story when decide'n whether or not to pick up the red curtosy phone...or better yet...have someone who thinks that SATAN himself has his sights set on our nation

didn't that Jefferson guy once say so eloquantly...

"i contemplate with sovereign reverence that act of the whole american people which declared that their legislature should make no law respecting an establishment of religion...or prohibiting the free exercise thereof... thus building a wall of separation between church & state."

oops...wrong Jefferson...i meant this guy

and with his wife think'n that they're somehow part of these delusional stories shows mental issues in itself...

it's like going to some star wars convention dressed as a Chewbacca...

and thinking you REALLY ARE a Wookie from the planet Kashyyyk

can someone tell me why a select group of fear seek'n people believe that their beliefs are the only ones that need to be believed?...if you don't want birth control... if you think abortions are wrong...if you don't want an education...or don't want to marry a non heterosexual...then DON'T PARTICIPAT­E in ANY of the above mentioned...and leave those who do ALONE!

now i'm not here to tell you who to vote fer this fall...but keep in mind...if you do choose to vote fer this MUROTNAS character...

you better make sure ya got fire retardant bottoms on yer toe tappers!

cuz you'd be one of those torch wield'n villagers try'n to hunt down the "non-believers"...who believe that they're not a believer...in HIS beliefs!

and you'd be held indirectly responsible fer what his agenda is he's promote'n against those who cause any harm to the "non believers"

there now...that wasn't so bad...was it...no not at all...well...this has been church chat...i'm of course the church lady...time to cut a rug...shall we

and Ricky...if you happen to stumble across my lil blog...perhaps you'd change yer misconceptions of our rules if i dolled ya up a bit...yer name could be...hmm...hey..how about Miss Conception?...perhaps we could do a number together?..may i suggest "love will keep us together"

by 70's duo Captain and Tenille...cuz shouldn't it really?

if that's not to yer like'n...puhleez...GET OFF MY DRESS!