from the Big Apple to the Minne-Apple...
from Cincinnati to Seattle...
come'n up with weekly headlines was just half the battle
from a town called Turkey to the monks in Nepal
from the Maple Leaf lanes to the vineyards in France
touch'n all of these kittens was just merely by chance
from the British Monarch to the Irish Republic...
from far away New Zealand to the Land Down Under...
who knew that i would become such a worldly wonder
from Russia with Love to the Syrian nation
from the Amazon jungles to the mountains of Peru
i'm so very elated to have touched someone like you
from Juan Valdez to the Chilean sights
from Pinata parties to the African horn
some of my fans have even done porn
from the sweats shops in India to the hot Arabian Dessert
from the Pyramids of Egypt to the Great Walls of China
my fans are my friends...well...sorta friends...kinda
but the biggest surprise of all you see
are my 2 biggest fans in Afghanistan who read me!
i've never had the pleasure...but heard about you in the news
i hope my words have touched you somehow...and washed away yer blues
i wonder if yer hungry...or just part of the war
were you on duty?...or was i just a bore?
are you part of the Taliban?...or were you just on vacation?
i guess either way...i'm happy to be part of that war torn nation
perhaps you were just in the middle of the crisis
those miles may tear us...from far far apart
i want you to know...you mean to most to my heart
so 3 cheers to you...and all of the rest
it's time to bid auf wiedersehen ...now get off my dress!