Monday, June 29, 2015

fear factor fail

it's finally a vote 5-4...(and i think we know who THAT was)
the SUPREMES have made it the law of the land...that non heterosexuals shant be denied the right to a fruitful life...a blissful and unsalted liberty...and the pursuit of happiness to be as miserable as their non homosexual counterparts when it comes to decide'n who's take'n the garbage out or take'n the dildo's outta the dishwasher

i'll admit...i never really thought i would ever have the opportunity to walk down the aisle...unless it was to make an offer'n to some porcelain god after a rough nite out...of course though now this means i'll have to over cook the vegetables...and help feed him jell-o 3 times a day in our twilight years at the raisin ranch...and i'm already so damn tired...but i figered...
eh! some point...even i...thee unintentionally internationally unknown perform'n illusionist of my own universe...has to move on from beyond the bar stools of desperado fools...give'n them the endless jack hammer'n nites...pinn'n down some cowpoke on another gin soaked pool table...til they begged me to punch into Charlie's chocolate factory...and will eventually settle down with some cock-suck'n-husband-fuck'n-pig-slutt'n-two-time'n-beat'n-cheat'n-homo...with a peg leg and a glass...who's lost his looks along with his libido...but is still a card carry'n american express platinum member...just to make me brain dead happy...know anyone?
i'm think'n october...autumn colors look best on me...i'll choose somethin' by Gaultier to wear...perhaps with the butt cut out...or perhaps not!...i would like my options left open...what unintentionally internationally unknown perform'n illusionist of their own universe doesn't?

of course...not EVERYONE was too damn happy to get this news...
lemme know if ya have heard this one joke before...a republican...a priest and pair of down under dingo's walk into a bar...
 ummmm no punchline...that was it!...oh how these religious rectal pirates are fume'n in the ovens of brimstone and fire that they believe in
but let's go back in time just a bit

beginn'n with everyone's fav-o-rit frothy mixture of lube and fecal matter
so this wonky eyed anal drip has decided once again that CASPER has called upon him in the wee hours of the spread the word his "unbiased" blasphemous bile thru-out the land...brought forth by those knob jockey heathens ...and run fer prezzie...waste'n millions of benjamins try'n to reverse the Supreme Courts decision...just to feel like a complete fool once if memory serves me correct Mr. Frothy...and i am to believe yer comic book stories as truth (insert laugh here)...wouldn't it be in yer best interest to appease yer delusional entity by spread'n the wealth amongst the feeble...the poor and those with unimaginable split ends instead first? 

up this hot under the collar CASPER crusader...
i thought...hey fine with me...just tell me where to bring the marshmallows!
but of any typical preacher leecher...he don't practice what he promises and says that he was just referr'n to a spiritual song
i bought myself a brand spank'n new Armani pin striped suit...with like the butt cut out and the latest Prada slip-on's fer my 1st ever religious weine roast and everything...shit! what the hell am i gonna do with 10 pounds of jalapeno bratwursts?

so now this couple from the land down under...try'n to ruin homo thunder
 i couldn't agree with them more...if i was a sexually oafish self righteous brain washed puritanical zealot myself...well...i'm not!...but not all is lost on these home 183,000 have RSVP'd to their divorce put it into perspective...that's like 10 sold-out Madonna shows at Madison Square Garden...just imagine all the free poontang and throat plungers you 2 will have to pick from
leave it to funny man John Stewart as he breaks it down exactly what all the fuss is about!

though some of you out there may not agree or believe in the rule'n...
it don't matter anymore...YOU get off my dress!

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