Monday, February 29, 2016

coo coo for COCO

remember when you were a small child...if you were like me of course...
and how you would go absolute batshit bonkers fer a bowl of this chemically induced crunchy balls of cocoa force'n you to drink every last drop of milk until you fell into a chocolaty coma

only to grow up into a full fledged adult child try'na recapture my youth...
remember'n how much you i missed all that chocolaty goodness...desperately want'n to give into the cocoa one more time...without have'n to deal with all those empty calories has NOTHING to do with either!

from confess'n her anguish in the urinals to some stranger about...
the dangers of gett'n sausage syrup in yer eyes in her 1999 independent smash hit "TRICK" in which the part was specifically written fer her...from her own personal experience

followed up by the instant cult classic comedy in 2003...
where she again played herself...this time as a lonely spinster live'n with 2 roommates...drag superstars Varla Jean Merman and Evie Harris...carry'n a torch fer the doctor that performed an abortion on her years ago

yes today kittens...i'm talk'n about none other than thee one...thee only

star of stage and screen...Miss Peru has been hawk'n her humor in heels
for over the past 20+ years and has no intentions of stopp'n anytime soon...this Bronx beauty has earned numerous nominations and awards fer all her hard work as an entertainer
but also as an activist extraordinaire fer all her endless hours dedicated to the LGBT-XYZ-PDQ community
though the throngs of Miss PERU's die hard fans...the COCO PUFFS (like myself) of  "GIRLS WILL BE GIRLS" have been wait'n impatiently in the back rooms of any downtown "adult theater" fer the follow-up to this cult classic...COCO and cast did release some shorts in 2008 & 2009 to tide us over til they decide to do somethin' about it

whether she's take'n us on a roadtrip fer her fav-o-rit Celestial Seasonings

teach'n you how to make the perfect cup of 20 simple steps

or teach'n you the in's & out's of  devirginalization with a good hard A double snake pound'n

COCO has been right there to help you along yer way...
this ballsy blue eyed beauty has spread her legs wings and appeared in everything from the small screen with shows like

to her critically acclaimed stage productions like "MY GODDAMN CABARET" & "SHE"S GOT BALLS" among many many other countless performances over the years

and her current production "A GENTLE REMINDER: COCO'S GUIDE TO A SOMEWHAT HAPPY LIFE"...get yer tix and other show dates @ a city near you here

pegged as "one of the last great storytellers" by the incomparable LILY TOMLIN

it's time that this copper top FINALLY get her break and get her own damn show...and this is where you and yer piggy bank come in

fuck all those presimental donations & the countless annoy'n charities...
hawk'n yet another sappy Sarah McLaughlin song in slo-mo...and you really need another fuck'n box of those thin mints...cuz kitten...i'm here to tell ya there ain't nothin' thin about ya no matter how many contortions you put yerself in to take that perfect selfie...besides yer already one box away from a dialysis machine as it is!

NO!...the only campaign you needa worry about this march madness is...
 MISS COCO PERU's kickstarter campaign
where her very 1st guest of honor will be none other than the legendary MISS LILY TOMLIN on august 13th fer the pilot episode

COCO has hosted this on goin live series in LA fer over 10 years...
with past iconic legends like Bea Arthur...Lainie Kazan...Jane Fonda & Liza Minnelli to name a few it's yer chance to bring it to the masses that sit on their asses...
by make'n a small or LARGE...but very important make COCO's conversations come true...with many many fabulous gifts await'n fer matter how LARGE or small you choose to loose outta yer purse...
as a personal THANK YOU from COCO herself...with a portion of the proceeds to benefit the LA LGBT center...where this whole shenanigan show began
with only 14 days to go's time to put down that remote controlled panty top...and do yer patriotic duty dammit!.

 i've taken my love life off life support...dipped into my silk purse...
& generously donated my monthly anal retentive bleach'n to support (the still live'n legend) Miss Coco make her tv show a why not kick that other "reality show" (the Kankersoredashians) to the curb...

you want fine quality tv program'n @ yer finger tips?...
rather watch a legend than a lesion?...then donate T-O-D-A-Y dammit!

and get off my dress!

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