Tuesday, February 16, 2016


i was completely brain dead this weekend...but then again...
so was that wicked wench of the bench...Scalia...plus i fergot the library was closed fer some unexploited ungifted holiday...so it got me to think'n about other things that really really piss me off in general

though there are sooo many things that we enjoy in some form or another
from blow'n bubbles and eat'n cakes

to eat'n someone's bubble A double snakes

from fry'n bacon on the griddle

to wish'n you were play'n with Kevin Bacon's fiddle...

but i beg yer pardon...i never promised you a rose garden...OH NO!

so in just one week since we last met...i've been able to collect and compile a list of things that can really get my petty panties in a bunch and really piss
someone...like the unintentionally internationally unknown perform'n illusionist of my own universe off...faster than lady blah blah look'n like a drunk Ronald MacDonald in an ill-fitted Elvis karaoke band butcher'n Bowie's legacy the other nite

#1 shoppers
this has happened numerous of times while i'm out shopp'n fer a merried of household items from fruits and veggies...to aerosols and anal cleansers...and like every time that i'm finished collect'n my purchases...i kindly wheel my free rental cart...courtesy of whichever shopp'n center i've decided to visit on any particular day...back to it's proper position...either inside the store or in the convenient corrals located in the park'n lot...and NOT scatter it amongst the sea of carts float'n aimlessly in the park'n lot or at the front of the store...i've worked retail in the past and trust me...I nor THEY...ARE NOT yer parent nor paid enough to clean up yer fuck'n mess...just put the damn cart away...it's seriously that simple...yer still gonna have enough time to make yer STD quota fer the day...trust me!

#2 check-in's
and i ain't talk'n about FB check-in's...at this time...cuz i have a life that the world doesn't need to know about...in this particular instance i'm talk'n about the gym that i've pimped up pumped up at 5 days a week...fer the past 7 years...now i've worked at a gym myself in the past...and it was as simple as a strawberry strudel to say some sorta sincerity as i would check in pay'n members...before they would go bobb'n fer balls in the steam room...but no...fer the past...at least 2 years that i can remember...my gym in particular (now i dare not say it's name fer legal recourse of course) but i go to the one in uptown at Calhoun Square on the 2nd floor...and the cunt ruffle that can't be bothered to scan my card...cuz she's check'n out how many "likes" she got from her latest post about Selena Gomez's grammy outfit...or perhaps she's check'n out if she's made her STD quota fer the month...either case kitten...lay off the crack and crack a smile once in a while...that's all i'm say'n

#3 parallel drivers
in a parallel universe...you would all back into yer designated spot as fast as you back into yer afternoon delight at the sleazy easy smack shack down the street from yer day care center...but if i get stuck behind another one way reverser that takes an hour to decide they gotta phone a friend before park'n their shit mobile (and i hope this millennial maniac remembers me)...trust me...i'm gonna be more than a curser...yer gonna need the jaws of life to get my foot removed from yer ass

#4  callous coughers
just cuz the zika virus is the latest must have over seas viral infection at this years spring collection...DOES NOT mean you can finally go about blow'n yer horn or cough'n up a lung without cover'n yer damn orifices with yer sleeve...yer hands or a plastic bag and some duct tape!...i crossed a plethora of polluters pollinate'n my space with their nose syrup this past week...and i'm not in the mood to sit and think about it in some padded room cuz i punched you in the neck

#5 religiously...regurgitate'n...politicks
we FINALLY got some justice now that that justice bloated basturd from the supreme bench bit the farm over the weekend...the country MUST and WILL move forward without you...and yer dead ideological  non sense that never made sense on how this country should run in the 1st place,,,and those enormous piles of dumbo dung are ALL make'n complete fucktards of themselves and their own debates...like a bunch of unwanted pregnancy's who got their pig tails pulled one too many times on the playground (secretly though...i predict DUMP TRUCK doesn't even have any desire to move into the BIG HOUSE...he's just a sexist egotistical lying hypocritical bigoted suicide bomber fer the GOP)

well...that's all kittens...time fer my medicine
now get off my dress!

No comments:

Post a Comment