everything starts with an E

say kittens...remember that old say'n yer gramama used to say to you "don't mess with a broad with balls"...well if you do yer lie'n to yerself...cuz i just made it up...well...gather 'round cuz today's lesson is brought to you

by the letter E...first one that comes to my mind was the beloved New York native...ear bleed'n chanteuse and household dingbat of the 70's EDITH BUNKER...married to the fictionally short tempered bigot Archie on the hit series "ALL IN THE FAMILY"...EDITH was the voice of reason and the rock of understand'n...especially when she found out her dearly departed cuz Liz was a lez...though shocked at first...EDITH treated her luva Veronica as if she was part of the family all along

and gave her the family tea set that would've gone to Liz's spouse...were she a he

next up is the porcelian french chanteuse EDITH PIAF...born in Paris 

in 1915...EDITH was an extraordinary actress, singer, songwriter of the 1930's thru the 1950's and hailed as thee most internationally premier star of Paris...sing'n from brothels to the big show houses all over Europe...EDITH was most notably known fer the smash hit that "LA VI EN ROSE" that every queen east and west of the Louvre would'a stapled their dick to their derriere to lyp-sync fer their life on stage with...and recently redone by the QUEEN of the DANCE FLOOR on her latest "REBEL HEART TOUR" out now on blu-ray and dvd...EDITH's life would be plagued with intrigue and mystery...

that is until her liver lost control try'na keep up with her jitter bugg'n down at the "hey chug a lug" nites of pill popp'n/liquid heaven nites at the tender age of 47
(see there's that scary number again)

one of John Waters larger than life dreamlanders...EDITH MASSEY 

starred in a string of WATERS cult classics like "POLYESTER" as DIVINE's bff  CUDDLES...and "PINK FLAMINGO'S" as EDIE the eggstrodinary luv'n mother to DIVINE...to add to her cult status EDITH was also the lead singer of the balls to the walls band EDITH AND THE EGGS

in her spare time EDITH became a very popular fashion model fer the "un"hallmark cards to fit all yer celebratory needs

but the one EDITH that sticks out to me the most...the one true broad

with the biggest balls of 'em all...is the recently dearly departed EDITH WINDSOR...who passed away last week at the age of 88...EDITH created a legacy that will live on for eternity by the simple fact that she fought the law...and the law...LOST!

born in Philadelphia in 1929...EDITH met the love of her life THEA SPYER in Greenich Village in 1963 and they would eventually enter into a domestic partnership in 1993 in NEW YORK CITY...where they both would spend many years of their life advocate'n and support'n many many LGBT causes together 

even as her love THEA was diagnosed with progressive multiple sclerosis in 1977...EDITH never left her side fer a minute...eventually THEA would suffer a heart attack in 2002 then diagnosed with aortic stenosis in 2007

same sex marriage was still illegal in NEW YORK...

so they would both pack their best birkenstocks and travel north to TORONTO CANADA...where they would be married in may of that year...unfortunately...THEA would succumb to heart complications 2 years later in 2009

upon THEA's death...EDITH learned that she would have to pay $363,053 in inheritance tax as sole beneficiary to THEA's estate...all because of the provisions set up in D.O.M.A. define'n a marriage as between one man and one woman...just cuz same sex marriage was not legal under the law at the time

by 2010 EDITH threw caution to the wind and sued the federal government...UNITED STATES VS WINDSOR was state'n that the government singled out legally married same sex couples as "different treatment compared to other similarly situated couples without justification" 

in her best pressed pin striped suit...EDITH would kick ass in the courtroom and would eventually win a full refund from the IRS by 2012...with interest to boot

 the LGBTXYZPDQ community owes you a humongous hug of gratitude fer all you did fer stand'n up fer equal rights and fer all the activism you have done fer the community as a whole over yer lifetime...i personally cannot thank you enough EDITH...yer legacy will live on fer years to come

if you get a free nite...i implore you to check out the documentary "EDIE & THEA A VERY LONG ENGAGEMENT"...it'll even tug at the smallest lil heart strings out there (that is of course ...if it's still beat'n)

if hollyweird hasn't already...listen up!...someone out there outta be penn'n this easy OSCAR winner...tentatively titled "EDITH" of course...and the no brainer would be to cast MERYL STREEP as EDITH...cuz i know she would act the shit outta this part and putt'n the audience in a flood of tears with her acceptance speech come OSCAR nite...(MERYL...if you need help...call me...i will help you)

now get off my dress!