Monday, December 4, 2017

the final countdown

the snowflakes haven't even begun to dance in the pale moonlight...
in the land of 9,999 bottoms yet (hey...call it the luck of the irish fer me) and my xmas wish list has already begun to become unwrapped

now of course...i could wish fer world peace...fer the hungry to be fed...
the homeless to be sheltered...the cancers to be cured...and the vomitus Kankersoredashian klowns and their chemically infused A double snakes to never ever be seen in heavy rotation ever again
BUTT...
it's the 2nd most important holigay season...FOR ME...and ol' Saint Prick ain't no genie in a bottle...is he now kittens? OH HO HO NO!...though...personally...he can rub me the right way (or wrong way preferably) a-n-y-t-i-m-e he wants...i swear!...so with that in mind...
fuck the fruitcake...
and can the hot canned fruit compote!

now i could be a lil xmas piggy...as one could if they choose to be you see
and plead fer somethin' absolutely outlandish...like front row w/meet and greet tix to comedy goddess MISS CAROL BURNETT friday june 15th 2018 @ the Orpheum theater in the Minne-Apple
along with pre and post cocktailage of course...so one can only hope there truly is an ol' Saint Nick who's not a brain dead dick...
with MDNA SKIN by MADONNA and then remove my impurities of the even'n...after i've removed my impure thoughts...with cool cucumber slices on my eyes and marinate my thirsty pores with MDNA SKIN by MADONNA...cuz my alabaster A double snakes are totally worth it
though these are just some simply wishful thoughts to stuff in my stock'n...come this xmas eve

but let's move onto my list of fav-or-it unbiased items on my XMAS list this year that won't break yer piggy bank and are a wee bit more attainable...
anyone with half a brain cell would obviously want me to rip the wrapp'ns off like an insane clown with turrets...just to get my claws on the newly released "CULTURE CLUB live @ Wembley Stadium 3 disk collector's set"
perhaps you may feel like add'n some new tunage fer my weekly car concert to the local glory hole...ummm...i mean water'n hole...and what better collection could one ask fer than the listen'n pleasures of this beautifully packaged 4 cd remixology set of the remix QUEEN herself...i would ferever be in yer debt...i might even bake you my famous tic tac pie!
ahhhh...80's tv was not 80's without those famous waitresses from Phoenix...that FINALLY came out with season 6...that's a tad bit beyond my pocket change...but perfect reason fer you to give this holiglazed season
of course who says bein' single ain't easy...if ya don't believe me...as Miss "KISS MY GRITS" herself who only lasted only season when she decided to pack up her pink polyester cow town pride and leave Mel's Diner fer good...that i've been desperately die'n to revisit all over once again
but if yer feel'n extra genny...i would reward you handsomely with a beautifully framed selfie of me enjoy'n an Ann Romano weekend marathon...why not!
and cuz i'm a tv dvd junkie whore...i could learn a lil history on those cold...not so lonely nites...from the hottest lil henna hair you'll eva meet...pick me up season one here...and season two here if yer feel'n extra charitable
blouse (L)            slacks (34)            hoodie (L)
fer all you bottom pocket scrape'n givers...fret not...how would you love to see me step up my game by stepp'n out in a snappy new well tailored ensemble from the affordably priced pheasants @ DRESSLILY.COM...oh yeeeeeaaaa! (i hear those chilean children can do a mean cross stitch)
last but definitely not least...fer those last minute shoppers who are look'n fer somethin' cheap & cheerful...i've collect every official one since 1985...so why not buy a part of my future history...so i don't have to
there ya have it kittens...all those near and afar...i've been naughty and sometimes nice...now it's time to give me my prezzies...or pay the price!
HO HO HO...from yer fav-o-rit HO HO MO...

now get off my dress!

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