would go bat shit crazy at the box office with "THE HAND THAT ROCKS THE CRADLE" try'n to get her employer's newly born offspring to suckle from her pendulous breasts in order to replace the mother and move in on the D.I.L.F...i mean father (not to be confused with of course the obscure act of HONEY SUCKLEING...which quite frankly i could'a lived a 1000 lives over without ever know'n the actual true definition of such an act)
one third of the british female trio BANANARAMA...SIOBHAN FAHEY
joined her new band SHAKESPEARS SISTER and had a massive #1 hit with the hauntingly beautiful dramatic pop sensation "STAY"
off their sophomore album "HORMONALLY YOURS" which is celebrate'n it's 30th anniversary this very year so if yer itch'n to get yer hands up their sleeves...click here to order the new vinyl (this was an unpaid endorsement)
the future 42nd prez of the US would impress the Arsenio audience with
his massive pipe play'n presence and go on to win the nomination 5 months later
and i was finally finish'n up my position as a governmental guinea pig
when i met up with my new found fools friends Lemar and Lyle thru a roommate ad that i was rent'n from while i was doin a near year long lock up every other month while bein poked and prodded by the CDC or the FDA to fill up my FDIC account that made me a lil AC/DC if ya ask me which in turn fucked with my ZZZ's
though i was one of the original viagra bunnies (yes all you chemically enhanced hard-on's owe me a bit of gratitude) the last medical experimentation i had to endure fer a boat load of tax free benjamins involved some radioactive pellets in a 20 oz big gulp that i had to consume fer liver cancer i was told while bein locked inside the hospital fer 30 days and nites and though it's never been proven...my sleep patterns have been greatly affected ever since so i made the unconscious decision to never involve my body as the government's voodoo doll any longer...
regardless of how much of the lifestyles of the moderately well off and suedo famous i'd get to experience
BUTT wait...there's more
Lyle and Lemar were just the hoot n a half that i needed to break me outta
the sheltered life i was live'n in durin' this period and did they ever...both of them were complete aficionado's in the art of "absolute pleasure" via the massage biz they were in based on "swedish techniques" though seriously kittens between you and me...their swedish techniques were neither swedish nor technical they were tawdry and sexual...however...i'm not gonna be some judgmental judy tell'n anyone how to bring home their bacon kapeesh!
with their jovial dispositions and their pied piper antics that i so desired
we were almost inseparable from club nites to the casino lites where some middle aged diabetic loaf of wonder bread in his blown out bvd's who was their atm on legs...pay'n them plenty to cling to his side as eye candy fer the crowds...though i was no fool...on the many occasions i was a tag-a-long tart i would pocket the $100 i was given and say i lost it in the slots as they rolled the dice til dawn
i can recall one nite when i was hired by Lyle and was told i would be paid
handsomely with top shelf cocktails of my choice and $25 if i could get this cling wrapp'n cock sucker off his back that he had dated or hooked up with a few times though the details of their "liaison's" were a bit fuzzy to me exactly...either case...he wanted me to go all ape shit mary mary on the contrary with prada purses fall'n outta every corner of my mouth when i was forced to sit in between them in the back of one of Lemar's "clients" cars in hopes the whipper snapper would break it off with him cuz he didn't wanna be the bad guy so of course i pulled the whole damn prada boutique outta my A-double snakes on one even'n (hey $25 is $25) and by the time we reached our final destination the cling wrapper was on his maryless way
time would move on and eventually Lyle began to date an up and come'n
smarty britches fer some medical device company (fer all purposes of this story we'll just refer to him as Telly) who conveniently and confidentially told me one even'n when i was to meet Telly that i WAS NOT to mutter a single word about the "profession" he was in...i mean why would i care anyways what this new guy thought...however...i zipped my lip and never muttered a single word to anyone only to find out later on how Telly never cared much fer me bein around them cuz he thought I WAS a massage therapist dole'n out happy end'ns so one would only surmise that Lyle threw me under the bus just to snatch himself a golden ticket
after a few years together eventually i would loose contact with my former
tag-along tarts only to meet back up with Lyle years later in 2009 once i heard thru the soured grapevine that Lyle and Telly had turned a mundane mechanical garage into a mega homo hideaway dance destination on the N.E side of town that was all a buzz fer those not want'n to deal with the hustle and bustle of the downtown crowds...co-dependents in the bedroom and on the bar stools
5 years on and going strong the bar was all the rage fer a large portion
of the population both gay...straight and the not so straights of course especially on the weekends...i was even lucky enough to get asked to perform one halloween nite due to a previous production back'n out at the last minute apparently so i slapped together my best 80's BOY GEORGE look and brought an appropriately themed costume fer a 2nd number which i believe was "I'D RATHER BE BURNED AS A WITCH" by EARTHA KITT (not that it matters though i'm tell'n the story so it technically does) anywho'zll'ding...since this was a last minute request to my already planned hweenie plans...i demanded free bar tab all nite along with $200 cash which Lyle happily obliged and the nite went off without a hitch in my britches
ever since the very first time i had met Lyle after leave'n my position as a
governmental pin cushion...i was immediately captured by his crystal blue eyes...his effervescent laughter and his charm'n teenaged antics...he was annoyingly hot though easy to bs with even if it was as fake as some of my orgasms at times...i never knew Lyle to be anything short of an absolute charmer...that is until 2014...
well there you have it kittens...tune in next week fer the excrutiate'n pt.2 of
TY A TRAGIC TORNADO...now GET OFF MY DRESS!
No comments:
Post a Comment