Monday, August 15, 2011

HAIL to the QUEEN!

things were gett’n a lil serious the last couple of blogs…so time to lighten things up…and i can’t think of a more fitt’n and proper blog than dedicate’n today (even though it’s actually tomorrow technically)

to the woman who turned underwear into outerwear…
causing millions of women to add vagisil to their water cooler conversations

make’n pre and post pubescent str8 and not so str8 boys
cross’n “borderlines” fer the past 30 years...

tell’n us to “don’t just stand there…

let’s get to it…

strike a pose…

there’s nothing to it!"

once asked by Dick Clark in 1984
what she wanted to do with the rest of her career…

she said she wanted to “RULE THE WORLD!’
and she has…

as the GUINESS BOOK of WORLD RECORDS top female recording artist
of all time…

sell’n more than 300 millions records world wide…

beat'n out Elvis as the artist with the most top-ten hits

she has mastered her music video imagery with provacation and artfulness like no other artist

at the time it was made...was the most expensive video play'n on Mtv at the cost of 1 million smax

she’s sold out stadiums with world tours from Chattanooga to China

gave many memorable performances at the Mtv award shows

with her breakout performance in “DESPERATELY SEEKING SUSAN”

as Susan

she has appeared in countless other movies include’n...


as Nicky Finn


as Breathless Mahoney


as Mae Mordabito


as Amber Leighton

and won a golden globe for her portrayal in “EVITA”

as Eva Peron
just to name a few

is an author with a #1 best seller children’s book “THE ENGLISH ROSES”
which became the fastest-selling children's picture book of all time and the release of 15 other children’s books that have gone on to sell millions thru-out the world.

MADONNA LOUISE VERONICA CICCONE was born august 16th 1958 in Bay City Michigan

her dad is Silvio Anthony Ciccone and her mother…whom she was named after…Madonna Louise Fortin
died in 1963 of breast cancer at the age of 30.

Silvio would get remarried to his house keeper Joan Gustafson

Her siblings Martin, Anthony, Paula, Christopher and Melanie
are from Madonna's mother...Jennifer and Mario are from Joan

she studied to be a ballet dancer

but soon dropped out and moved to new york in 1977

where she met her boyfriend Dan Gilroy and formed the “THE BREAKFAST CLUB”

not to be confused with this BREAKFAST CLUB (which came years later)

playing guitar…drums and singer

in 1980 she left the band and formed “EMMY”
with then boyfriend Stephen Bray

by 1982 Madonna decided to be a solo artist and signed a deal with SIRE records and released her first single “EVERYBODY” on october 6
which became a dance floor hit…and the hits haven’t stopped since.

photographs she had taken in the nude as an art model
to make ends meet for only $25 years early…

would be published once Madonna had gained star status and were sold
to Playboy

and to Penthouse…

but she brushed off the controversy and was unapologetic and by 1990..released her own artistic nudes shot by famed photographer Steven Meisel for her book called SEX
which sold millions worldwide.

she has endorsed numerous products...but PEPSI lost 5 million to her
after backing out on her "BLONDE AMBITION TOUR" in 1991

because of religious knob heads want'n her banned
due to her "like a prayer" video and it's imagery

while film’n her video for “material girl”...

she met Sean Penn
and they married months later in 1985 on her birthday but the marriage would last only 4 years and they divorced september 14, 1989

it would be another 11 years before she would marry again to british director Guy Ritchie
on december 22, 2000 in Scotland…but unfortunately they divorced in december of 2008

Madonna has 4 children…Lourdes Marie Leon was born october 14, 1996

her father is Madonna’s ex personal trainer Carlos Leon.

her son Rocco Ritchie was born august 11, 2000
his dad is Guy Ritchie.

David Banda Mwale was adopted on october 10, 2006…and Chifundo “Mercy” James was adopted on June 12, 2009 both from Malawi, Africa

she's been a brunette

she's been a red head

she's been a brassy brown

she's been a bottle blonde

she's been a platinum blonde

she's even been 2 toned

she's had long hair

she's had short hair

she's had kinky curly hair

she's had stick straight hair

she's even had wavey hair

she's done the feathered

she's done the fro

she's even modeled for this mo'

she knows how to pull off a top hat

or forget to button her top half

she's posed with an elephant

then there was that horse

and even the teeniest tiniest of course

here she is pull'n a pig

her she is in a short black wig

she once was seen with a clown

and another time lay'n down in a brown gown

on a roof top she once sat

she's even worn a crazy hat

she used to date a man named Jesus

and brought the crowd down to their kneesiz

she's caused some controversy with the cross

but everyone knows that she's the boss

here she is in the water

and eat'n chains that cost more than a quarter

here she is doin' some work

her she is look'n biserk

squeeze'n a sponge into a bucket

where'n what ya want...and say'n awww fuck it!

she can pull off a boa...with the greatest of ease

or wear a bouffant...with a lot of tease

sometimes she needs to just lay down

sometimes she does it in a gown

she hides behind no ones mask

except one time...for that was the task

she can hold herself up by her own 2 breasts

and never lets her boobs feel like they're oppressed

she's played some chess with a dog

and even was fondled by this old frog

sometimes she'll sit in a chair

or on the floor in just underwear

she's smoke'n hot when take'n a rest

or smoke'n hot in a black leather vest

from the borderlines

to the beaches

she's always in fashion

even when gawked by these leeches

she has influenced millions thru-out her career with her kaleidoscopicstyle
the 'rebel without a clause in her contract" look

the "post punk pop rocks' look

the "like a virgin touched for the 17th time on a beach" look

the "fine...i'll wear the stupid black hat but i'm keep'n the wilson leather gloves" look

the "being bitch slapped by the hand of hindu" look

the "flo's comin to town" look

the "i have so much money has money" look

the "effective crotch grabb' polka dots" look

the "post modern peek-a-boob hippe blouse" look

the "you cursed brat...look what you've done...i'm melting...melting...oh what a world...what a world" black taffeta gaultier gown look (big hit in malaysia)

the "ancient chinese secret with elongated mud flaps" look

the "i'm not a lesbian"...lesbian look

the "salmon swimsuit and pink satin capri's with blood clot belt now at old gravey" look

the "i'm not a powerful lesbian"...powerful lesbian look

the "hysterectomy panties in heels" look

the "gimme a bunch of crap to cover the scars on my arm" look

the "i'm sad cuz no one wants to see my boobs in another video" video look

the "'ll be kiss'n my ass someday very soon" look

the "i'm clipp'n my toe nails...get the fuck outta here" look

the "drag queen in a burka" look

the "MISS IMODIUM A-D 2007" look

her music

and her many humanitarian efforts

but she herself was also influenced by many…most notably Marilyn Monroe…

but other artists like Karen Carpenter

Nancy Sinatra

The Supremes
to name a few.

Rolling Stone magazine said “Madonna remains one of the greatest pop acts of all time". and the most successful female recording artist of all time”

on march 10, 2008…Madonna was inducted into the Rock and Roll Hall of Fame.

Madonna made her directorial debut in “FILTH and WISDOM”
which tells the story about a Ukrainian immigrant who finances his dreams of rock glory by moonlighting as a cross-dressing dominatrix and his two female flatmates…a ballet dancer who works as a stripper and pole-dancer at a local club and a pharmacy assistant who dreams of going to Africa to help starving children.

Her latest directorial film W.E.
is the story of two fragile but determined women separated by more than six decades… lonely New Yorker Winthrop is obsessed with what she perceives as the ultimate love story: King Edward’s VIII’s abdication of the British throne for the woman he loved, American divorcee Wallis Simpson

Madonna has filmed 3 documentaries…”TRUTH or DARE”…released in 1991…
gives an amaze’n look at life on and off stage for a mega superstar

”I’M GOING TO TELL YOU A SECRET” is the follow-up 15 years later
and shows how live'n a life as a mega pop star...wife and mother can take it's toll

“I AM BECAUSE WE ARE” was released in 2008
chronicles the concern over the millions of orphans in the African country of Malawi who have lost parents and siblings to HIV and AIDS…many of whom live on the streets.

some think i'm obsessed

and some think i'm crazy

but there's one thing fer sure

she sure as shit is not lazy

Madonna started with a small dream...

and turned it into a dream come true

i don't know what to say about MADONNA

that will give you a sense of how much she's influenced me

to be the beauty with BALLS

and i'm not sure i've said enough about this woman

so i'll just say thanx for all the joy and inspiration you've given me

and kick'n some serious ass fer the past 30 years

and pleez don't ever stop


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